Buckle Up Buttercup
by tatakailittleackerman
Summary: Modern Au. Eren's a college kid living with Armin and his boyfriend Jean til Armin and Jean break up. Who will take Jean's place in the apartment? Levi struggles with drugs. Eren struggles with his gay feelings. Ereri with past Jearmin and side winmin. My first fic *nervous shifting*
1. Giving Up

**I'm rewriting the story** so if you decide to reread it, there will be a few things changed Not really in this chapter, but I plan on adding a lot of dialogue that I skipped in later chapters.

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Levi Pov

"This is just getting fucking ridiculous!" I growled out the last part of my exclamation a little louder than I had meant to and I glanced over my shoulder to where the door was barely parted to make sure that no one had heard and was coming over here. To my knowledge, there was no one else present at the moment; However, I had learned very quickly living with Kenny that that wasn't always correct. People, the kind that aren't exactly girl scouts, tended to gather in Kenny's house and nestle in every nook and cranny like termites in wood. You never knew exactly how many people were here.

I always hated doing this with the door creaked open, but there were no locks and my hearing was shit from all my younger years of loud music so I needed the crack to listen for footsteps. At least that's what I told myself. I didn't want to admit it was paranoia stemming from stimulant abuse. I tended to try and not think about the side effects of what I was doing. Just let me have my high and let the rest all fall to hell.

_One…two…three…_

I took a deep breath as I counted to ten in my head. I grabbed my cell off the couch behind me and clicked the button on my phone and checked the time. It was 4 am, so Kenny should be returning from work sometime this hour. I put it back, and twisted back around to the coffee table I was sitting under. I was cutting it very close, and I knew it. I hated it Kenny ruined my highs with his bullshit. I returned back my previously neglected task of arranging my lines of beauty across the table, working faster now, rolled up dollar bill still pressed between my lips like a cigarette.

_If only I didn't feel this intense need to make my lines perfectly fine and straight I'd be done by now… _

I cursed myself for my annoying quirk. I usually enjoyed my urge to clean and be neat, but now my hands were shaking with the force of my last couple rails setting in, and this was difficult and time consuming. I usually liked to have at least a 2 and half to three hour cushion to savor my high before Kenny and whomever he decided to bring home with him showed up to ruin my bliss. It wasn't that I hadn't started soon enough today; it's that for some fucking reason it wasn't _fucking working._

Most of the time, I railed my lines and everything was perfect; However, recently it wasn't going as usual. I woke up feeling shitty as usual and instead of my drugs making me feel great, now they just make me feel less shitty. My dosages had climbed and climbed and climbed. I was sure that if I piled up my usage from over the last year, I would find a powdery mountain big enough for a nice ski vacation with the family I never had.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't alarmed at the change. The ritual of preparing it was still just as satisfying, but the actual snorting was no longer fun, and the high was just unreachable. I used to enjoy everything about snorting; I even thought the drip was delicious! Now the pleasure was replaced with a dull pounding in my sinuses and a heart attack waiting to happen. Before I would just comedown, now I crashed. Hard. I basically spent my time rotating between a death from one cause or another.

Even now as I made these lines I knew what was going to happen. I was going to snort them, enjoy a rush for 3 seconds and it would fall flat, and I would feel this same, never ending _ughhhhhhhh_. The exact same I feeling was in me now, just as it was before I had snorted my first lines. I couldn't shake this feeling of waking death that had slithered into my veins all those years ago. Everything would be the same, but I would snort these anyway. Well, not the exact same. Blood would drip from my nose and my heart would rip its way out of my ribcage even more than it already had.

Still, I kept going.

_Because that's what we do right? We rot ourselves away until nothing left?_

I slid the bill inside my right nostril, just like I had done a hundred times before, and leaned my head down.

_!PANIC! _

My heart raced out of my chest in uneven _DUM BUMMM DUMMM BUM DUM DUMMMM _motions. It was hard to breath the thumping against my chest was so intense. A tight pressure centered on my heart arose. When I could finally move again, I whipped around to face the source of panic. My black bangs plastered to my face with sweat. My hands shook as my brain was flooded with yet even more stimulant and adrenaline. My wide eyes met the panic and my brain struggled to process it.

_Lights on the couch? Phone? Phone!_

I now knew logically that it wasn't threat, but my body wasn't so forgiving. My heart stayed high and uneven. My hands still shook and I cursed them. I begged them to stay still, just so I could snort these lines and maybe get high. I damned whoever had contacted me.

_Should I really snort these? My heart feels like its going to explode at any moment… if I got another scare… Who am I kidding I'm so paranoid it doesn't even matter. _

I looked down at the lines in front of me, trying to get a hold of my brain and add up how much I had had lately. I wasn't religious but right then I prayed. I prayed to whoever the fuck could help me to just let me have this one more high. Let me snort these and feel high like I did the first time I ever had this again.

_Let me feel it once more_. _Just once and then… and then I – I'll quit. _

Before I could attempt again to snort my lines, hot breath flashed on neck and I heard _him _shushing me. I felt his hands wrap around my waist. I felt him bending me over while I screamed.

"_Wanna see my new tats?" He purred to me. I felt his nails dig into my hips and the pain shoot up my spine. _

I jerked my head as far back as it would go, shivers arching my back up and terror tore through my body in the form of scream.

_Not again. Not again. Not again. I can't allow him to hurt me again. No. No. NO. .NO. _

I could no longer feel my heart. Just pressure. Then nothing.

I woke up in pain. My head felt like it was rotting from the inside out. My body ached. My fingers and toes were frozen. I stretched out and yelped when I felt the pain rip though my back.

_That's what I get for fucking with stimulants. They wreck your back. _

It was then that what had happened came back to me, and I sat up. I sat up maybe a little too fast, because a tight pain came and gave my heart a firm squeeze. I steadied myself and then looked around.

I had been sleeping halfway underneath the coffee table, laying against the couch length. I was happy I put down that rug now. I looked over at the table and saw my lines were still there waiting for me. I wanted to dive right in, but I resisted the urge. It was neither quite light nor dark outside my window so I assumed I was out for a couple hours but I needed to make sure. I picked up my phone and then looked at the time.

It was 7 pm and I had two missed calls from work and two other notifications. Fuck. I was out all damn day. I checked the calls only to find out I was fired. I threw my phone down and turned toward my still formed lines. (Looks like Kenny hadn't even bothered to come downstairs all day, which is god because he would have taken my drugs himself had he had the chance).

_This will fix it. This will make it better. This will fix me. This will make me better. _

As I bent reached to grab my bill from the other side of the table, my hear lurched in a way that can only be described and sickening and, more importantly, _a warning._ I paused, grabbed my chest instead. Was I going to die?

_Does it matter? Does it even matter? I should just snort these and let my heart explode like tnt. Boom. Bye, bye, Levi. _

It would be a fitting death, I suppose. I would die just as I had lived, high, scared, and, most importantly, alone. I considered it. I was going to die if I kept going, of that I was sure. What I wasn't sure of was if I was ready.

_I could just throw it out. Start clean. Google how to repair my body or some shit. _

I allowed myself to picture myself happy and successful in the future for one delicious moment and it was oh so cruel. It hurt. It burned. But, then again, wasn't that what I was good at? Self-destruction. I shook my head. I wasn't always like this. I wasn't always this goddamn _bad. _There had been a time when I was a little boy in a bad situation that had hopes of getting out. Now I was a bitten man in an even worse situation, part of which was my own construction, and instead of trying to get out I allowed it to overcome me. I poisoned myself until I was just as rotten and bad as m situation.

_What is it I want so bad? _

"Control." I answered my thoughts out loud. I want control of my life back. Stability. Health. Happiness.

_Well, I gave control of my life up to this fucking shit so easily. Maybe I can take it back? _

I thought about all the things in my life that weren't so shitty. I had Hanje and Mike, my two friends. I had a few other sober friends, like Petra. Once upon a time I had had high test scores and praises from all my teachers. I wondered if I could put my brainpower, what wasn't fried, into fixing myself up.

All I knew then was that I had to get away from it. I grabbed a book and scraped all of it onto the glossy cover. I went straight to the bathroom then, only pausing to reach into my dresser and pull out my stash. I flushed all of it then and wiped down the table. I grabbed my dollar bill all rolled up and coated on the inside with drug residue and on the outside with my blood, and held my lighter up to it. It caught easily and I dropped it quickly into my sink.

I watched the bill curl in on itself like I had done so many times and weep tears of smoke. When it was all done, I washed its ashes down the sink and went back to my room. I sat on the couch.

I had expected there to be overwhelming emotions. Those would come later, I had supposed, in the withdrawal stage, and I was right. For right then, though, it was anticlimactic. The drug that I had signed years of my life over to, that I had rotted my body with, and that I had sold my soul for was gone. I expected it to be momentous. But it was just what it was.

I checked my phone again. I looked at my previously ignored notifications to find the one timestamped for last night around the time my flashback/ hallucination happened. It was just a facebook notification that it was Petra's birthday.

I sighed and laid down, texting Hanje that I needed their help. They texted back right away, as they always do, and asked only what I needed. Hanje was too good to me, I swear. I texted back that I was going clean and I needed a drug free place to go through withdrawal. Several minutes passed then I got a text that said: _On my way 2 pick u up._

I sighed and was going to get packed for my trip to hell when my phone flashed again. Hanje had sent an ominous message only saying: _Buckle up Buttercup_. I groaned. No fucking kidding.

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that you to everyone who was so kind to me the first time around! :D


	2. Dying

rewritten :D also, whoever asked me for my tumblr, its *deep inhale* levisbombassdick and yeah, you can tots talk about the story there idc

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Levi POV

_Dying. Dying. Dying. Dead. I'm dead. There's no other explanation._

I heard Hanje's footsteps approach me and anger flared in me.

_Snap. Snap. Snap. I'm going to snap. Leave me the fuck alone. Now. _

I wanted to yell at them, but I didn't have the energy since all of mine was currently being consumed in fighting through this hell. I wanted to snarl and growl and bare my fangs like the cornered and wounded animal I was.

I have said many not so nice things about Hanje, (hell, I say not so nice things about everyone), but one thing I can say about them is that they have handled my many withdrawal induced hissy fits very well. They didn't deserve to have my anger directed at them; I knew that. Sometimes…sometimes I just couldn't help it though. Call it lashing out when hurt, call it withdrawal anger, call it the monster inside me… I could no longer differentiate between them anyway.

My days were pain, pain, and more pain. I wondered how long I had been laying in Hanje's guest bed. It seemed like one second; it seemed like forever. With my body clock thrown out of the window, and the bedside clock destroyed when I threw it against the wall for daring to make light during a migraine, the only sensation of time passing I had was when I noticed the sound of Hanje and their boyfriend Mike banging in the other room. I assumed it was night when I heard that. I didn't keep track of days, though. I desperately hoped I was closer to making it out of this hell. Whether I made it out dead or alive, I no longer cared.

"I brought you some water" their voice was equal parts grating and soothing. I wanted to cuddle with them, cry to them, drown my sorrow in them, but at the same time I wanted to scream, punch them, and claw my way out of the room and into my dealer's room.

I reached out a hand blindly, feeling the limb shake uneasily. My hands and arms protested with a sharp, hot pain when I felt Hanje wrap their warm hands around mine and form it around the glass. I bent my elbow and prop myself up with the other on to drink it. The cool water ran down my throat and I felt the chill settle in my stomach.

_I must be empty to be so sensitive to water. I wonder when the last time I ate was. I'm hungry. I'm always so hungry. I used to feed off of stimulants. I … I don't know how to feed myself anymore. _

I peeked my eyes open and looked up at Hanje, who was standing with a worried expression by the bed.

I noticed something different about them.

_Hanje cut their hair since the last time I had seen them. _

I was immediately struck by how odd this thought was. I interacted with them every day for god knows how long. I just almost never opened my eyes, not because I didn't want to see them, but because I didn't want to face the light of day.

Their hair used to be longer, in waves down to the small of their back that they usually drew up in a ponytail. Now it was just past shoulder length, and they currently didn't have a ponytail. The weight taken off of the hair made it lighter, which allowed it to curl up more, giving Hanje lots of waves.

I licked my lips and tried to clear my throat. I looked into their warm eyes full of kindness and said my first words that weren't desperate cries for help in I don't know how long.

"Your hair is pretty." God damn my throat was scratchy. I looked down in embarrassment. I hated myself for putting them through this. I really did.

"Levi," their voice was thick, and I looked up. Tears welled in their eyes.

"Whoa, Hanje, you okay?" They nodded and wiped their eyes weakly.

"I'm so glad to see you looking better, Levi. You're becoming Levi again. Talking, noticing things, being nice… you know?" I really did a number on Hanje. Fuck me.

I collapsed back on the bed, throwing an arm over my eyes.

"How long have I been here?" I had to know.

"Three weeks."

"Jesus."

Hanje sighed. They walked closer to me and slowly moved the arm I had thrown over my eyes to my side. They stroked my face with gentleness I did not deserve.

"He can't help you now, you poor little gay boy." I could feel the smirk radiating out from them.

I realized it had been a long time since I had played with them or had any fun at all. They probably really missed that, and me, too. I suddenly felt very selfish.

I smiled for Hanje's sake.

"You need anything?"

"Food." I threw my arm back over my eyes and rolled back over, suddenly very exhausted.

I heard them leave the room, and knew they would return with something delicious, and a lot of it.

Since I had been abusing stimulants, which depress appetite, my brain stomach communications had gotten really messed up. I no longer had a "full" feeling. Just less empty. The first time I had the strength to eat while here, I had panicked when I couldn't feel myself getting full. I had eaten and eaten until I puked. There, curled up in the fetal position on the floor of the shower, letting the scalding hot water beat down on me and wash away the filth, I had never felt smaller. I was tiny, in that moment. Not 5'3 tiny, but even smaller. Smaller than anyone else. Smaller than a human being. Smaller than a speck of dust. There, I had wanted to cry. I didn't. As always, I refuse to cry. I can only cry when I feel safe, and I never felt safe.

Thinking about that dirty incident made me realize how dirty I currently was. I rarely had the energy to do anything other than moan in pain, so it had been a while since I had changed my clothes. They were grimy and sweat soaked.

I pulled the fabric of my neckline up to my face and inhaled. Yuck. Talk about an assault on the senses. The thought of putting on clean clothes didn't help when I realized how dirty my skin was. I would have to shower.

I sat up slowly, pulling off my shirt and leaving it on the bed where I knew Hanje would find it. I took my pants and boxers off at the in-room bathroom door and threw them onto the bed. As I stepped in the shower, I realized that besides the puke incident this was the only time I had ever felt my usual Levi sense of cleanliness. I allow myself one brief burst of hope and smiled just enough to feel the corners of my mouth turn up. Maybe I was becoming "Levi" again…

Eren's POV

_I'm going to strangle him. I'm going to strangle that horse-faced fucker. I'll strangle him with his own mane. _

I could Armin and Jean fighting through the walls again. There had been more and more of that going on lately. I didn't get. I didn't understand why a guy like Armin was with _Jean_. Ew.

I hear their room door slam open and heard them fight down the hall.

"So Marco isn't important to you?" Armin was suspicious of Jean and his budding friendship romance with another English major, a gentle freckled boy named Marco.

"For. The. Last. Time. Armin. Marco. Is . A. Friend." Jean was practically growling the words.

_Bullshit Horseface. Mikasa caught you red handed. Own up and face Armin like a real horse._

Mikasa had been at the bar where she works, not working but taking a girl's night out with her friends Annie and Sasha, when she noticed Jean being awfully "friendly" with Marco. Yeah, Jean had been drunk, but that certainly didn't excuse his hand sliding "oh so accidently" up Marco's thigh. Later when his sister had come over to see Eren and their childhood friend Armin, she had given them all the details.

When Jean didn't come home that night, Armin had called him. Marco answered. Armin hung up immediately and spent the night crying in Eren's room, cuddled in between Mikasa and Eren for comfort. Jean pulled the, "Marco was just helping me out cause I was drunk, nothing happened" line but Armin, the keen guy he is, didn't buy it.

Jean left the apartment, saying something lame about needing some air. Armin stood next to the couch in the living room, looking at the door Jean had just left in shock.

"You okay, man?" I said stupidly. God, I was bad at this.

Armin turned toward me, tears welling in his eyes. He reached his arms out and I was off the couch and towards him for a hug as soon as I could physically get there.

"I lost him. It's official. He – he doesn't love me anymore." Armin clutched at the back of my shirt while little sobs shook his body.

_And in the moment, the Who's down in Whoville say my hatred for Horseface grew three times that day. _

"Fuck him and his horseface. He can ride into the sunset with his head shoved up his own ass." I bit out. Armin just cried.

"Are you angry with Marco?" I asked him softly.

He shook his head into my chest.

"No. I – I don't think Marco knows Jean already has – had – a boyfriend. I can't believe Jean would exactly advertise that fact to the guy he's wanting.

I picked up on the correction from has to had immediately.

"So you are for sure gonna dump him?" Armin nodded weakly.

"I won't be cheated on. If he wants Marco, he can go get him." I was so proud of Armin.

"Hell yeah. He's outta here. You put his ass in the stable, Armin." Armin barked out a single laugh and looked up at me with a smile.

"It's gonna be okay." He said weakly. "It hurts right now but it's gonna be okay."

"That's right buddy. It's gonna be alright."

"Can we play video games with some beer and Doritos?" He asked me.

"That's the best comfort I've ever heard of, bruh." I let him go to power on the X-box.

"Bruh." He said, trying to smile.

The fighting over the next weeks were intense.

Armin and Jean officially split. Jean moved his stuff from Armin's room that they had been sharing back into the room he was technically renting that we had been using as a spare bed for drunk friends and Mikasa. Jean finally admitted to having drunk sex with Marco. Armin cried. Mikasa punch Jean in the face. I cheered and wanted to join in but once punch from Mikasa had pretty much handled it. Jean told us Marco didn't know about Armin and asked us not to be mad at Marco. Armin had looked into Jean's eyes with such hardness that Mikasa and I were shocked as he said, "Marco was ignorant, but you weren't. I don't forgive you."

Jean had felt so bad that his rich ass had paid his share of the rent for six months, through the end of our current rent agreement.

After a couple weeks, Jean's stuff was gone and into his new place and Armin felt that he was ready for another person to move in. We talked at length about the kind of person we wanted to move in.

"Male or female?"

"Ehhh?" Armin had said. "Does it matter?"

"Well, ya never know, maybe the next guy who moves in will be your next boyfriend. Maybe he won't look like a barnyard animal, either." I joked. Armin laughed, and we both relaxed. Enough time had passed that we could joke like this now. I knew Armin must still be hurting, but I was glad he was getting better.

"Or maybe we ought to have a girl move in…maybe she'll be your new girlfriend!" Armin said. We chuckled.

"Unless, of course, you're gay." Armin said, completely seriously. An awkward second passed before we both burst out laughing.

"I'm straight, my friend." I believed it, too.

"Still, I think we ought to have another guy move in." He said. I looked at him. "Not for romance or anything," he followed up quickly, moving his hands around frantically. "A girl over here constantly would be different you know. I wouldn't want any other girl besides Mikasa, and she's rooming with Annie in the dorms this year, ya know."

"I can't see how she stands them when she doesn't have to." Only freshmen were required to live in the dorms at Maria University, and Mikasa was a junior just like us.

"Alright, male. Only students?" Armin asked.

"I don't see why we should limit it to only students." Armin nodded.

"They have to be gay friendly, of course."

"Of course. I'll slip in a gay reference somewhere and see how he reacts."

"Maybe write that I broke up with my boyfriend and that's why the room is open?"

"If that's alright with you, Armin."

"I woudn't have brought it up if it wasn't."

We finished the conversation up a few hours later. I'm not going to lie, I was pumped. I downloaded a renter app and punched in my information. I scrolled through the list of people.

_Looking 4 place to call my own. 420 friendly only bi – _Next

_Quiet, clean guy looking for a place with my girlfri- _Next

_Party Anim- _Next

I sighed going down the list until I found one that was different.

_Will take whatever. _

Just those words.

I hummed.

What does "whatever" mean? Why so short and simple? I clicked on it and read through the profile.

_Levi. 25. Clean. Don't smoke, don't care if you do. Don't drink, don't care if you do. _

Interesting. I clicked the message button on his profile.

Levi POV

It had been about two weeks since the withdrawals had stopped. I was itching to get out just as bad as Hanje and Mike were itching for their personal space back.

"_You two know you fuck all the time, right?" I said to them one morning after frying up some crispy bacon and making pancakes to a golden brown perfection. Mike ran a restaurant and so he was around the kitchen all day, meaning when he got home, he preferred to do anything else. Hanje was the main cook at home, and they liked to find 'alternative' ways to cook things, like blowtorching the shit out bacon. Ever since I had gotten well enough to cook, I had started doing it._

"_It's constant, like fucking bunnies." I said as I served the food to them._

"_Constant?" Hanje looked at me wide-eyed. _

"_Yes." I said, ignoring the look Mike was giving me. _

"_Even right now?" Hanje whispered, looking at Mike, who was sitting beside them with his coffee and food. _

"_Especially right now, babe." He wiggled his mustache at them and I scowled. _

"_Damn you must be bad cause I feel _nothing _right now." Hanje took a big bite of pancake after drowning it in an ungodly amount of syrup. _

"_I'll show you how bad I am, baby." He leaned in and stole a sloppy kiss from Hanje. They tangled their fingers into his hair and tugged. He gave a gentle moan and I cleared my throat. He pulled back from them. _

"_Can I fucking help you, Levi?" He asked. _

"_Don't fuck in front of me after I made you breakfast." _

"_It's awful food, Levi. Awful." He said, taking a bite of a perfectly cooked, fluffy pancake. _

"_Excuse you my food is more delicious than the souls of children." I gave him a hard look. "Which I know you must consume regularly in order to survive living with them." _

_They snorted and he shrugged. _

"_What can I say? I love them." Mike said, and leaned in to Hanje again. _

"_Love them somewhere else. I'm trying to eat my delicious food, you shit head." _

"_How bout you move because I want to fuck them on this table?" He shot me a look. They giggled and clapped their hands. _

"_It's been so long since you fucked me on the kitchen table!" _

"_Done. Done. I'm leaving. I'm finding a place to go where they don't fuck like crazy and season their food with chemicals from-" _

"_I didn't mean to! Geez! Season a steak with iron filings once and no one trusts you alone in the lab anymore." _

"_Still leaving!" _

I was sitting on a bench in the park, just breathing in the air and ignoring the constant raw ache that had been lodged inside me for a hit. I wondered if it was now a permanent fixture in my life. I sighed. Only time will tell.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I checked the screen. A notification.

It was a message from an app that I had even forgotten I had downloaded. It was a roommate search app I had downloaded when I thought I could get away from Kenny's basement, before I had blown all my money up nose. I had put my information into it, checked *looking for place to live*, and then forgot about for weeks.

_Why the fuck is someone messaging me through that shitty thing? _

I opened it

_Hey, so are you still looking for a place to move in? My best friend and his boyfriend and I moved into this apartment near our campus early this year and now they've split up. (I'm really happy, I hated Jean tbh). We have place for one more now. I saw on your info you were looking around downtown, but the campus area isn't too far from it, so… _

So some college kids want a roomie? I laughed sarcastically but then stopped when I read the next part.

…._hit me up if you're interested. P.s. Jean's a stupid rich kid and he paid his – your- share of the rent for the next couple months when we asked him how we were supposed to pay rent without his share._

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i love hanje tbh


	3. Straight

so like. I think if I do two chapters a day I can knock this one out in like a couple weeks. This is the coolest coping skill ever.

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**Eren POV**

_What? An immediate answer? He must be online right now. Oh boy. _

I got up off the couch and trudged to my room. I wondered if he would mind my mess. I mean, it wasn't his room. His profile did say clean, though. I scooted my pile of dirty clothes and random objects from the bed to the chair in the corner, as per routine. In the morning, when I needed my chair to sit at my desk and study, I would shift the pile back. One day I would clean. One day.

I flopped onto the newly cleared space and laid on back with my phone held in front of it. As I slid to unlock it, I dropped my phone on my face and screamed out a "Fuck!"

I heard a muffled, "You okay?" through the walls and smiled at the concerned tone in Armin's voice.

"I dropped my phone on my face." I screamed back.

I heard him begin to sing "He's beauty. He's grace. He dropped his phone on his face."

I snickered as I slid the bar to unlock my phone. I quickly clicked to the message.

_Eren_

_Yeah. I'm still looking. I don't mind that you're not downtown so long as you're clean. _

_Levi _

Wow. This guy was straight –forward. Then a minute later, almost as an afterthought he had sent.

_Eren _

_I'm sorry to hear about your friend breaking up with his boyfriend. _

_Levi _

Hmmm… so he didn't have a problem with Armin being gay? I better make sure, though. Armin is in a fragile mental state, and I don't think he could handle any homophobia right now.

_Levi_

_So you're not homophobic? _

_Eren _

I copied his blunt form, right down to stating his name and mine with no formal "Dear"s or "from"s.

He didn't reply for several minutes and I was worried that he may in fact have been homophobic and was scared off. Good riddance then. Then:

_Of course not. I'm gay. _

Huh. No names this time. I considered how short his message was and thought maybe I had offended him. I quickly sent back a message.

_Just checking. When are you free to come idk check it out?_

I hoped he was a nice guy. I also hoped he wasn't interested because he thought he might have a chance with Armin. If Levi and Armin got together, fine. I just want Armin to be happy. It would be interesting to have two gay men in here two. Four, if they have partners.

_Maybe five…._ Ugh. I didn't even want to think that maybe I was gay. I wasn't gay. I was straight. All my life I had been straight.

I had first started thinking about girls when in the locker room I overheard a bunch of older students talking about masturbating. I had only been in 6th grade, but I had gotten the gist of it. You think about a really hot girl and the rest kind of takes care of itself. It seemed simple enough. I had gone home that night, locked myself in my bedroom and experimented.

First, I had thought about Mikasa's friends. Sasha, Annie, Krista… they were all very pretty; however, nothing really clicked for me. I still masturbated pretty regularly, but I just didn't think about anyone.

Lately, however… I had begun to think about what it looked like when other guys masturbated. I had begun imagining the boys in my class slowly sliding their hands up and down their own dicks, and a couple times I had fantasized about them reach out and touching mine, too. The first time I thought about being jacked off by another guy, I had cum like crazy. After the bliss wore off, I had panicked, thinking about what this means.

_It means you like dick, you gay…_I shook my head. No. I was just… bi-curious. I'm sure that if I ever did anything with a guy in real life, I would be turned off. Just like I was sure that if I ever did anything with a girl in real life, I would be excited.

I had thought about confiding in Armin, but….

_You too chickenshit. You think he might say he started out the same way. You're scared to be gay. _

Once again, I hated my thoughts. I was scared to be gay. Hell, why wouldn't I? People treat gays like shit. I had seen so much homophobic thrown at Armin, just because he was out of the closet. Even just casually in the locker room and around the school homophobic slurs and actions were everywhere.

On the other hand, I was at least 90% sure that these feelings were just happening because I was a virgin. A confused virgin. I just needed to find myself a girl to get with. Yeah.

I tap out of the app, ignoring the message Levi had sent in favor of texting Mikasa.

To: Sister

_Is annie single? _

Annie wasn't the friendliest girl in town, but she was pretty. She was also really close to Mikasa, and I could get Mikasa to tell me if Annie had any feelings toward me before I asked her out and got rejected. That would make things awkward. I want to know I've at least got a chance with her before I bug her.

I flipped back over to the app and clicked into Levi's message.

_I'm in between jobs right now, so I'm free whenever. _

Hmmmmm. I wonder what he used to do? I supposed I would find out later.

_How's this Saturday around noon? We're in Sunset, apartment number 4C. _

A few moments later, a reply came.

_Yeah. See you then. _

Looks like Levi was coming over.

**Levi POV**

_This should be interesting. _

Despite myself, I was a little excited. I could actually be getting out. I could be leaving Kenny's for good and unburdening Hanje. They were always so kind in letting me stay whenever I needed, and they had even gone so far as to say I had a place there if I wanted to move in, but I couldn't accept it. They were too good for me. I was afraid that by moving in, I might be moving in my issues, as well, and they didn't deserve to have to deal with that more than they already did.

I had gotten a little worried when Eren asked me if I was homophobic. Of course, I wasn't, but I had struggled between giving a simple "no" and going for the all out "I'm gay". I had chosen the later, figuring that since they were best friends and one was gay, they would figure it out eventually. Especially the gay one… we homos tend to be able to smell the gay on others. It was a very useful thing.

_Like him…_ I thought, as I was passing by a sharply dressed man with his back turned to me as I was walking back to Hanje's from my park bench. Even without seeing his face, I could just tell.

_Tall, blonde, broad shoulders, clean, great posture… maybe I should strike up a conversation. He looks like a top, though, and I prefer to top, but I would bottom if I could get with him. _

I wanted to smile to myself. I was getting back my old urges now that I was out of that godforsaken bed. I was craving my favorite foods, cleaning more, and now I even wanted to have my ass fucked. Ahhh, yes…. I was get back into the swing of things.

I barked out a sharp laugh at my own thoughts, and the man turned around to see what caused the noise.

_Holy shit those are blue eyes. _

They were so god damn piercing, I almost froze up. He smirked a bit, seeing my hesitation, and I felt him size me up. In the same way I knew he was gay, he knew I was gay. I suddenly didn't like his stare. Most of the time I enjoyed the gaze of a fellow homosexual man, but this was much. I scuffled away quickly, mumbling about how I wasn't that much of a bottom anyway.

I much preferred a sweeter, passionate, cuddley type of bottom than a severe, hulk of a top like him anyway.

I wondered for a second if the recently single gay boy at Eren's apartment was a bottom or a top. Jarvin, Marvin… god damn, what was his name again? Kevin? God no… Martin? That was close. I put it out of my mind, knowing that if I stopped thinking about it, it would come to me.

I drew my scarf up around my face as I entered downtown. It was September now, and the air was defiantly getting cooler. I was glad I got over my withdrawls soon enough to get out and enjoy the outdoors a bit before the cold hit us.

…I wondered if Kenny had noticed me gone all this time.

Probably not. I had grown up in that house, Kenny as my "parent". It had never really felt like a home because of the parade of Kenny's friends that came in and out as they pleased. I mostly stayed in the basement, aka my room, letting their drunk and/or high asses do as they please upstairs. I had actually gotten out earlier.

My past with Kenny was shakey at best. I had been given drugs and alcohol and participated in lots of stupid things compliments of Kenny's friends. I had really hit the drugs hard when I was 16… that was right after I had come out and some stuff had happened. I tried not to think about it. I had struggled with even keeping myself alive for 4 years, using on and off, until I had enough saved up to get out on my own. I had loved being out on my own. Having my own space where drunks couldn't dirty everything up, being able to lock the door and keep people out, and just feeling _safe, _but that had been short lived. I was back on the drug train by 21. I had started using again right after my boyfriend and I broke up.

I went through a bunch of men in rapid succession after that. Farland. Olou. Eld. Nile. Gunter. I just wanted to feel the loving embrace of a human being. I had run myself right into the ground. I had even tried having sex with a girl once. Petra was comforting me after one of my many, many emotional crises and we had gotten a little handsy. I liked the feel of her breasts, but when I reached down her pants and found no hard erection waiting for me, I knew from my disappointment I was defiantly gay. All for the best, I suppose, she and Olou had gotten together later, anyway.

_Armin. His name was Armin. _ I nodded my head to myself. I just needed to think about something different, and it came back to me. Just like I knew it would.

_Things are going to be different now. I'm 25, and for the first time in a long time, I'm clean. I have a shot at this apartment. I'll find a job and start fresh. I can live. _

I stepped into Hanje's house to find Mike sitting at the kitchen table, He looked up from what he was doing and nodded at me. I nodded back, and took my coat off to hang on the rack by the door.

"Where's Hanje? I've got news about an apartment." I asked Mike, noticing his mustache twitch a bit as he sniffed deeply. Weirdo. He was trying to sniff me from the other side of the room like he always does.

"Their showering. What's your news?" God damn stop sniffing Mike. I swear he could smell my whole life's story on me with just a twitch of a mustache.

"I might be moving in with some college kids." He raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah. They're young, but it's not like I'm 40, Mike. Jesus.

"You sure about this?"

"Yeah, Mike, I'm sure." Then just to have something else to comment on about it, "One's gay."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Broke up with his boyfriend, boyfriend is moving out, that's why they have the room now."

"You looking for a place to stay or for a romance, Levi?"

"Fuck off you shitty, twitchy mustache."

Just then , obnoxious, loud laughter came from the hallway, and we both turned to see Hanje leaning against the wall of the kitchen, hair still damp from the shower and a towel around their neck, but at least dressed.

"I thought _I _was shitty, and he was twitchy." They snickered.

"You are both equally shitty and twitchy." Then, softer I said, "That's why you guys are great together."

Both of their expressions softened and they gazed at each other. They both smiled at each other, and I was struck with a pang of jealously. I wanted a human to love and be loved by in return, too.

I cleared my throat as I noticed Mike's eyes shift downward and figured he was checking his partner out.

_God. Like they don't fuck all the time anyway. _

Hanje looked up at my throat clearing.

"Oh. Hey, I have news." They looked at me curiously, a glimmer of hope in their eyes.

"What is it?" They asked.

I sat down at the kitchen table across from Mike and gestured to the table, telling them to sit. They did and I began from the very first message.

* * *

also friends, can anyone explain the difference between ereri and riren? thanks in advance :D


	4. Straight?

Im already like halfway through with the 5th chapter so expect another one in a few hours lol

* * *

Eren POV

"Are you sure you have taken out the trash?" Armin asked for the billionth time.

"Yes." I answered back, a little too sharply. I was a little angry, though. Armin had been hounding me about cleaning ever since I told him about Levi's coming over. He had wanted to make a good impression. He said it was because Levi's profile said he was clean and he didn't want Levi to think that we were disgusting, but I knew better. I knew Armin was seriously hoping that Levi moved in ever since he learned that Levi was also gay. It wasn't so much a hope for romance but more a hope for a connection with someone who was also gay.

_He has me, though…_ I thought and then shook my head.

_I am NOT gay. I am simply a confused virgin. _

I still sometimes reflected on my reaction to not getting with Annie though. I had been so relieved when I woke up the next morning to see a text from Mikasa that read:

From: Sister 

_Annie is a taken lesbian. _

Then

From: Sister 

_Why? _

I had punched in some bullshit line about just being curious. I did wonder about who was Annie's girlfriend, though. I had mentioned it to Armin and he immediately said that it was probably Mikasa.

"_It's Mikasa." Armin stated while casually stirring his morning coffee at the kitchen table. _

"_What!?" I dropped my spoon into my tea, (I couldn't stand coffee). _

"_Mmmmhmmmm. Think about it, Eren. Mikasa is in a dorm room with her. Annie and Mikasa get along, and no one else really gets along with either of them. Annie is a lesbian. Mikasa is bisexual. It was bound to happen." He explained calmly. _

"_Mikasa is bisexual?" I was definitely surprised. I had never even thought about it before. _

"_Yeah." _

"_Mikasa told you that?" _

"_She didn't really have to. We both know she dated guys, but I could also feel queer vibes coming from her. So, she must be attracted to both guys and girls. Therefore, Mikasa is bisexual." Armin took a sip of his coffee and then continued. "Also, once about a month after she had started dorming with Annie, I asked her if she was getting along with Annie and she said, 'We're more than getting along; We're more than friends, you could say'". _

"_Wow." I couldn't help but be a little jealous. _

"_Why didn't Mikasa tell me this?" _

"_Because she knew you had sexuality issues of your own." Armin gave me a pointed look and sipped his coffee. My jaw dropped. _

"_I- I-I'm straight. There's no question about it! I mean, I had asked about Annie because I had wanted to be with her." _

"_Eren, homos can practically smell each other." He looked piercingly into my eyes. _

"_Well you don't smell it on me!" _

"_So you've never ever thought about another guy like that?" I turned dark red. Just that morning I had been thinking about a small dark haired boy in my calculus class. I had jacked off thinking about his mouth all over me. I shook my head violently and covered my face with my hands. _

"_Armin!" I squeaked out._

"_Eren, are you homophobic?" Again, I was shocked. Only this time, I was shocked and offended. _

"_No! Of course not! There is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay!" Armin sipped his coffee again while maintaining direct eye contact. _

"_Then why are you so emotional about wanting other men? I'm openly gay, Eren. You know that. I can help you work through your feelings if you would just talk to me." _

"_I-I mean. I have thought about… certain things…."I saw Armin nod knowingly. _

"_These "certain things" involve other men?" I looked away, twisting my jacket in my hands with nervousness. _

"_Eren, talk to me. I hate thinking about you suffering in the closet when I'm openly gay and supposed to be your best friend." The "supposed to" he slipped in cut me pretty deep. I tried to think about it from his point of view, and yeah, I guess I could see where he was coming from. _

"_I sometimes," I started, then stopped. I took a deep breath then continued, "Guys sometimes get me really excited. I-I-" _

"_Gentle reminder that I'm really gay and will have no judgments at all. Even if you say you want to be ferociously anally fisted while choking on another guys di-" _

"_ARMIN ARLET!" I didn't know what else to say. My heart was pounding. I wasn't expecting to be so directly confronted about this. _

"_What? Eren, I'm just saying you're safe discussing this with me." How could he be so calm about this? I was freaking out. _

"_O-okay." _

"_Also, if you ever need any advice about dating another guy, I'm here. I have topped and bottomed, too, so don't be scared to ask me about all the mechanics of anal sex." I was screaming in my head. _

"_Okay! Thank! Gotta go!" I ran out the door ignoring Armin's laughter and calling my name. _

_I had walked to a local tea shop, then, to have my tea in peace. Before I had even ordered I had a new text. _

From: Armin

_You okay? _

_I sighed as I ordered my breakfast tea, noticing a cute little barista. He was about 5"4 and had dark brown hair and a gentle smile. God, I might be gay. _

To: Armin

_Yeah. I'm fine. Just getting tea and calming down. _

From: Armin

_At Jason's Corner Bakery? Isn't the barista a cutie? _

To: Armin 

_Fuck you. _

_That might have been a bit too harsh. I sent another text a moment later. _

To: Armin

_Yeah, he is. I think I might have a type. _

From: Armin

_Small, dark hair guys? _

To: Armin 

_Yeah_

From: Armin

_I knew it. _

_I snorted out loud. The cutie in discussion looked at me weirdly as he handed me my tea. I blushed and thanked him as took the warm cup and sat down at one of the little tables. _

_I reread our messages one more time. God, I loved Armin. _

I was pulled out of my thoughts of Armin by Armin himself.

"Levi is coming here today, Eren! Please, tell me everything in your room is clean!"

"Armin! He's here to check out the empty room, not mine!" It wasn't like it was guaranteed that Levi would moving in with us. Even if he did, he wouldn't be spending a lot of time in my room anyway.

"Still, Eren, I don't want him to run away because you happen to like wallowing in 3 feet of filth at all times." Armin leaned against the wall of the living room where I was currently sitting on our couch, just playing on my laptop. His hair was pushed back out of his eyes with a hairband, creating a little fan of sticking up hair at his crown. I wanted to laugh, but I knew he looked that way because he was still cleaning. I suddenly felt a little guilty for just messing around. It was only 10 am though! Most college kids would still be asleep.

"Why did I even make it so early?" I asked aloud to no one in particular.

"Why indeed," Armin snarked back. I huffed off the couch, shutting my laptop and gestured for him to follow me. He did and we padded barefoot down to my room.

I threw open the door with my usual amount of force expecting that pile of dirty clothes that sat behind the door to catch it, but I had cleaned and the door banged loudly into the wall.

"Jeez, Eren, calm do- woah man, it _is _clean in here. When did you do this?" He stepped in, looking around. I had finally cleared off all the surfaces of my room, and did the laundry and took out the trash. Those three basic tasks were 90% of my mess; I had just been too lazy and apathetic to do it. I had wiped down everything, vacuumed, and even lit an apple cinnamon candle and set it on my desk. I even opened my curtains and let in some natural light, for fuck's sake.

"I did it while you were studying in the library one night. You're working real hard on that biology project aren't you?" Armin shifted a little. Huh. Weird.

"Is there something worrying you about the biology project?" He was a bio major, and a genius at biology, so I knew he wasn't having trouble with the actual work load. I hoped some people from his class weren't giving him a hard time. I could remember a few times when I had to casually drop a few names into Mikasa's lap for her to take care of. They never fucked with Armin again.

_God. I wish I could kick ass like my sister. No one would fuck with Armin ever again with two of us around. He could feel safe all the time. _

"I think I might have a crush." What. The. Fuck.

"Already?" I asked without thinking, then I mentally hit myself in the face. That was rude. Gosh. I mean, I wanted him to get over Jean, I just didn't think it would happen so fast. I counted in my head. It had been about 9 weeks since Marco and Jean were caught by Mikasa, and about 6 weeks since Jean moved out. Well, actually, that seemed reasonable. I guess the time just flew by so quick with all the tears and cleaning.

"Yeah…" Armin shuffled out of my room, blushing. I went after him.

"Well, tell me about him." I sat down on the couch and motioned for Armin to do the same. He glanced nervously at the clock. It was 10:30. "We have plenty of time for a chat before Levi shows up."

He sat down and with a breath said, "You're not gonna like this." Uh-oh.

"Why?" I was nervous now. "Is he mean to you? Armin, I will – no Mikasa and I will – take care –" I felt anger begin to curl up inside of me.

"No!" Armin said, frantically waving his hands around. "He's… he's my professor." Fuck.

"Really?" I asked. Armin nodded weakly. I tried to relax my body so as not to scare Armin. I took a few moments to process this information, and I could see Armin getting more and more uncomfortable.

"Which one?" I asked.

"Professor Smith." He was tugging at his shirt and playing with the fabric in his hands.

"Hey, buddy." He looked up at me. "I think it's great you have a crush. Fuck Jean."

He laughed, "I wish I hadn't."

"For fuck's sake Armin, ugh. Don't give me those visuals." We laughed together, and it was probably the best I had felt in a while. I was always so tense, thinking about my sexuality and avoiding the topic. Armin was always tense in his own way about Jean. Here we were, casually discussing his new crush and laughing about gay sex. It felt so good.

We talked causually until Armin's phone went off.

"Oh! I set an alarm for 11:45! I thought we might get distracted and I wanted to make sure we were ready for Levi." Armin really did think of everything.

"Good job thinking of that, Armin. I'll check my messages to see if he's said anything, and you go change out of your cleaning clothes. Maybe leave the hair though, he might think it's cute." I teased. Armin's hands flew up to his hair and felt the hairband.

"Oh no! My hair's gonna be sticking straight up now!" He dashed away to fix his clothes and hair, and I unlocked my phone to see if Levi had sent anything. He had.

_I'm leaving for the apartment now, I should be there exactly at noon._

Holy shit. This guy must not be any fun at all. Seriously. He loves clean and being 'exactly' on time. God. I was kind of regretting asking him first now.

I got up and knocked gently on Armin's door. He opened the door shirtless and in new pants. His hair was out of the hair band and now his bangs were fanned out, sticking nearly straight up.

"Wow, man. Answer the door like that. Maybe he's into spikey haired shirtless gay boys with cheesy white boy tattoos." Armin stuck his tounge out at me while putting the hair band back on with a sigh. Armin had a stereotypical bird with a rose in its mouth on his right pec. It was very cheesy, and Armin loved it.

"It's cool and you know it."

"Next why don't you get a Japanese word tattooed on you. How bout the word 'okama'? It means water." He stared at me, shocked. He and I had both studied Japanese when we were in highschool together, and he knew it most certainly did not mean water. I smiled, holding my tongue between my teeth at him.

He made the first move, punching me lightly on the shoulder while laughing. It was on, then. I hit him back on the shoulder. He fake punched me and we continued back and forth. We were just working up a sweat when the doorbell rang. Armin let out a very high pitched shriek and made a grab for a shirt. I laughed.

"Levi's here."

"I fucking noticed, Eren! Go let him the fuck in!"

"Such language."

"Eren!"

I left his room and yelled, "Coming!" down the hall.

I wiped the sweat off my forehead while I unlocked the door. I opened it, finally seeing Levi.

He was short, even shorter than the cute barista at the bakery. He dressed casually in jeans, a red button up, a leather jacket over it, and a fuzzy scarf that matched his eyes to top it all off. I could tell he had some build, but he wasn't super muscular like our friend Reiner. He had black hair styled in an undercut, and his gray eyes were narrowed at me. He tugged his gray scarf out from the way of his face and I saw his tongue peek out to lick his thin lips. I felt my face heat up and I knew I was blushing.

"I-I-" I stuttered.

_I was fucked._

* * *

Im still trying to decide how fast I should bring on the M rated stuff... I think i need more eren "omg im gay" angst hmmm


	5. Gay?

*screams about balancing school and my increasing desire to write gay porn*

* * *

Levi POV

_Gay. He's so gay. Look at him blushing and looking at my lips. Yep, this one right here is 100% Grade A Gay. _

I looked him up and down. He reminded me of a little puppy, even though he was taller than me by a good half a head. He had big green eyes, messy dark brown hair, and a light blush on is cheeks. His white t-shit accentuated his tanned skin and his jeans hung low on his hips, showing a sliver of more skin.

_Grade A alright… hmmmmm… _

"You must be Armin." I held my hand out.

"N-no. I'm Eren. Armin will be out in a second." I could see confusion on his face, and I felt equally confused. I thought Armin was the gay one? I shrugged internally. They must both be gay.

He wrapped his hand around mine and I noticed how hot and soft his skin was. I had scars all over my own hands, and I pulled back my hand quickly so he wouldn't notice.

He was still blushing, and I was in a rare playful mood, so I just held eye contact, sticking my tongue out of the corner of my mouth once more. He seemed to react to this last time, and I wanted to see what he would do. I drug my tongue slowly over my bottom lip; His eyes immediately focused on it. He grew darker and darker as I reached the other corner of my mouth and pulled back in my tongue. I pulled my bottom lip into my mouth and bit it lightly with my teeth before letting it go slowly. He made a little squeaking noise, and I almost smiled.

_I wonder if he's a top or a bottom. The way he reminds me of a puppy, he must be a bottom. I would like to find out, though…_

Just then a small, light haired boy came into view.

"Eren, let Levi in, gosh." He was gay, too. I could tell. He must be Armin then. Eren moved aside and I stepped in, choosing to walk very close to him so he could smell my cologne. It was musky, woody blend that I loved, and I noticed most boys enjoyed it, too. I looked up at him, making direct eye contact. I wondered what this tall beautiful boy would look like looking up at me with those pretty eyes. I would only find out if he got on his knees before me. I smirked at my own ideas, and noticed he looked away quickly.

Okay. That wasn't good. He either found my smirk too sexy or too scary. I should find out.

"Is that the coat rack behind you?" His eyes flashed back to me and he nodded hesitantly. Hmmm… so it was too sexy for him. I tucked that information away into my brain while I stepped around him and hung up my coat.

"So…. You find the place okay?" Armin said. I turned back around. I noticed that Armin was not even looking at me, despite having just spoken to me. He was looking instead at Eren, who was leaned again the wall, looking down at his shirt in hands, picking away at loose threads that weren't there. Armin looked worried.

I guess I needed to tone it down a notch. I didn't know anything about Eren's situation and here I was, already planning him as my next boy toy. For all I knew, these two could be together. That would explain the thumping before I rang the doorbell and the shriek I heard just after I rung the doorbell. These two were probably about to get frisky. I would be disappointed if they confirmed that they were a couple and my boy toy was taken off the market.

_God I had to get me a man… I'm thinking like a thirsty bitch. _

"Yeah. It was easy to find."

"Would you like some tea?" How nice of Armin to offer.

"Yes, please."

"Eren," Armin turned to Eren, who grunted without looking up, "Go make some tea please."

Eren grunted again before pushing off the wall and walking in what I assumed was the direction of the kitchen. Armin looked worriedly after Eren. Oh. So the tea was less of a way of being hospitable and more of a way of giving Eren an excuse to get away from me. Hmmm… I wondered if this was going to effect if I was allowed to move in or not.

"So this is the living room…" Armin continued, suddenly perking up and waving his hand toward the space in front of us. I step forward and looked around.

It was a reasonably sized room. The walls were a neutral color that was not quite tan and not quite white. The floors were a tan colored carpet, a few shades darker than the walls, and I wished they were hardwood…So much easier to clean. There wasn't a lot of decorations, but what little they had were tasteful. A TV was mounted on the wall furthest from me; a little white bookshelf full of textbooks was directly underneath it. Their dvd player and cable box was on top of it, and there looked to be some sort of game console, too. A fluffy looking brown couch was placed in front of it with two little red pillows on either end. A brown coffee table rested a few inches away from the couch, a laptop and a mug of something on it alongside an abandoned textbook that was still open with a notebook thrown on top of it.

On the wall that my back was turned to, where the front door was, there was nothing except a couple portraits hanging up. I peered a little closer at them. Armin and Eren where in most of them, along with an Asian girl who looked like she had a bad attitude with a bright red scarf. She had it on in every photo and I wondered what her deal was.

"That's Eren's sister Mikasa." Armin explained, following me over to the pictures.

I looked next at one, taken at some sort of gathering, featuring a man with two tone hair and a long face with his arm thrown over a blushing Armin. Mikasa sat with a small blonde girl in a way only lover's would sit, with their sides touching and faces very close together. Eren was there, sitting awfully close a large, blonde hair guy. I didn't like him immediately.

"That's Reiner, our friend. This was his birthday." I nodded. I considered looking over the other pictures, seeing what more information he would volunteer. I didn't, though, because right now I was a stranger; it was really none of my business.

"Can I see where I would staying?"

"Sure." Armin grinned, running a nervous hand over his spikey hair. I wondered if he kept it like that all the time or if the hairband was just for today.

I followed him down the hallway. He pointed out the doors along the way. The first door on the right was the first bathroom, the one just after it on the left was Eren's room, and Armin's bedroom and the empty were at the end of the hall on opposite sides of the hall. The second bathroom was built into Armin's bedroom. He told me that if Eren or I got sick, the well one was free to use Armin's bathroom whenever he wanted. He quietly explained that he got the master bedroom because for the longest time there were two people living in that bedroom- him and Jean. They had used the bedroom that Jean technically rented for drunk friends and Eren's sister when she came over. I noticed the sadness in Armin's eyes when he talked about Jean and I figured out this was the ex-boyfriend.

Between them where the wall ends was a smaller door which Armin opened to reveal linens and towels. He then explained that they didn't have their own laundry set up, and that he did his laundry every week on Saturday. He laughed and then mumbled about how Eren did his maybe once a month. I was sure I made a face of disgust because Armin quickly then explained where the laundry in the building was and that I could do it as much as I pleased because it was open 24 hours a day.

What I hoped to become my room was the last stop. It was painted the same neutral shade as the living room, with the same carpet. The bed was the first thing that caught my eye and I went over to it immediately. It was dark wood frame with two shelves in the bottom. The blanket was a rich red color that I stroked almost adoringly. The pillows were black, and I saw why when I flipped the blanket down.

_Black sheets and a red comforter. God damn. _

I couldn't help but bite my lip as I picture what Eren and I would look like twisted up in these sheets.

Armin cleared his throat.

"Ummm… you can switch out the sheets if you want. Those are some Eren picked out a while ago."

_Eren fucking picked out black sheets and a red sex blanket. Are. You. Shitting. Me. _

"Yeah. See, Mikasa wears red all the time with her scarf being red and all, and has black hair so Eren picked these out so he could make "Oh no, Mikasa disappeared!" jokes when she used to stay over here a lot. Eren… he tries really hard to make jokes, I'll just say it that way."

Thanks for ruining my fantasies by bringing in the sister, Armin.

"Where is Mikasa now?" I asked even though it wasn't really my business. It was only my business if she was coming back.

"She's staying in a dorm with her.. uh… girlfriend." Armin said.

"She's a lesbian?" Now I was getting way out of my business.

"Bisexual."

"Oh." I said as I started looking around. There was a window on the wall opposite the door, and a desk in the corner. Besides that and the nightstand and lamp beside the bed, it was empty.

"The dresser is in the closet." Armin stepped in the room and closed the door, gesturing to the view that had been blocked by the open door. Along the other wall, right against the corner, was the closet.

Instead of looking the closet, I tried to think of a way to Armin to talk about Eren.

"Earlier you said that Eren likes to joke. Is he usually more talkative?" Armin immediately started nodding.

"Give him some time to get use to you and I'm sure he will start joking."

"So he looked nervous because I'm new?" I knew he was nervous because he found me sexy and I was coming on strong, but I wanted to know more about him.

"Yeah…" Armin opened his mouth to say something more, but closed it again. Oh no. I wanted to know everything.

"What is it?"

"Eren…"Armin suddenly looked at me and his eyes were sharp and full of warning. "Look, Levi, I'm just gonna lay it all out because you need to know this if you move in." Oh boy.

"Eren still maintains that he's straight with only a minor attraction to men. I know that's bullshit. I know he's fucking gay. I know you're gay. I know you find Eren attractive and you were flirting with earlier. I know Eren finds you attractive since his type is small, dark haired guys. But back off." Holy shit. My eyes widened when he with his baby face uttered a curse, but my mouth was open by the time he had finished.

"Back off? But you said he finds me att-"

"For now. Back off for now. He just met you, and he's confused and in the closet. You're scaring him. If you want Eren, you gotta learn to be real gentle with your flirting."

"Okay. I can do that. I mean, I just met him… we might not even be compatible at all." I was a little disappointed, that's for sure.

Armin gave me a smile, his previous demeanor shifting 180 degrees in the blink of an eye.

"So you'll move in?"

"Yeah, sure."

Eren POV

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck me. Oh my god. _

I couldn't believe it.

_I am not gay. I am a confused virgin. He is not that attractive. I'll find a small, dark haired girl and I'll forget all about Levi. He's nothing. _

My view of the tea cups I was getting down was suddenly blurry and I realized I was tearing up. I was actually tearing up over this.

I slammed my fist down on the counter, almost taking comfort in the pain that rocketed through me. It helped to clear my head a bit. I wiped my eyes and jerked out my phone, clicking onto Facebook.

I scrolled through my friends, Armin's friends, and finally Mikasa's friends until I found someone. Mina Carolina. A mutual friend of both me and Mikasa, and she was a small, raven haired girl. I quickly sent her a standard "Hey how ya doin :D" , praying that the message wouldn't convey the shaking of my fingers.

I quickly finished the tea, setting it out on the table and taking a seat. I considered getting up to find them, but quickly dismissed the idea. I needed a little breathing room right now, and I didn't mean breathing in Levi's cologne.

I held my head in my hands, taking out my phone and checking to see if Mina had replied. She had.

_Not much lol. Whatcha doin messaging me all of a sudden? _

I typed back in my reply.

_Thinking about asking you out tbh_

It was short and to the point. I wasn't normally so forward, getting tongue tied around girls, but this was over Facebook, so there wasn't any eye contact and I was just panicked enough to throw caution to the wind. She replied almost instantly. Huh. I guess I shocked her.

_Wow. So are you gonna do it? _

I heard footsteps off in the hallway and quickly punched in my reply.

_Hmmmm… you, me, movie night? _

I sat my phone down and looked up at the entrance to the kitchen. Armin came in first followed by Levi.

"So this is the kitchen…" Armin explained, letting Levi look around before sitting down next to me.

"Nice. It's very clean in here. I'm impressed." Levi pondered outloud.

"Thanks." Armin said, taking his mug of tea and blowing on the surface. He usually only drank coffee hot.

Armin looked over at me, "Levi's moving in." Great. Fucking great.

Levi took his own cup of tea and sat down, sipping on the tea in the strangest way possible.

I forgot my sexuality struggles for a moment and watched him drink tea.

_Why the hell is he holding it like that?_

I glanced over at Armin, and saw his brows also knit in confusion.

"Why do you hold your cup like that?" I was shocked at how level my voice sounded.

His gray eyes met mine and I felt warmth come back into my cheeks, remembering what had happened earlier.

"You didn't know? This is the gay way to drink. It's how homos signal to each other that they're ready for an ass pounding." Armin gasped. I just stared.

He took another sip of tea. "Kidding."

For some reason, that was the funniest thing I had ever heard at that moment. I laughed suddenly and loudly, like a pile of plates crashing to the floor.

Both Armin and Levi looked at me surprised as I doubled over, holding my stomach. The whole situation was just ridiculous. Armin started laughing at my laughter, and Levi followed soon after.

It was then that I knew that I was going to be okay.

* * *

I had originally planned for this to only be 5 chapters long. *laughs into the distance* yeah, we see how that went. At least 10 chapter now. I need more angst.


	6. Gay

Warning: things get a little sexual and the word f** is used.

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Levi POV

Armin was the one who helped me with understanding how the house ran. Rent was going to be about 500 a month, and I was expected to buy my own food and help with house bills. Armin had showed me the fridge and explained that anything that I bought that I didn't want eaten by someone else should be labeled as such. There were sharpies and tape on a little magnetic holder stuck on the fridge. He told me to stick the tap on the item and write on the tape if I couldn't just write on the box. Otherwise, it was assumed to be food for the house.

I explained that I was in between jobs and Armin nodded understandably. He said I could ride on Jean's forward payments if I wanted, but I would still be expected to help with house bills. He said that if I had any interest, the bar Mikasa worked at was always hiring. I told him I would think about it. I really didn't want to deal with drunk people. I had a lot of experience with that at Kenny's. I shivered. I didn't like to think about Kenny's basement.

I moved in two days after I had visited the first time. I wanted to move in immediately, but I needed time to pack my shit up and tell Hanje where I was going. Moving in wasn't that hard since I didn't own that many things, anyway. I only brought my clothes, laptop, dvds, and my few books. I didn't even bother to tell Kenny that I was leaving. He would figure it out eventually.

Eren and Armin had both helped me carry in boxes, and Armin made lots of friendly conversation but Eren was quiet. They had given me my privacy while I unpacked. I showered in Eren's and my bathroom and felt as though I was washing away the dirt of my old life and starting fresh. I planned to throw my old clothes in the hamper Armin gave me for my room and wash them in the morning to make sure all the dirt of old life with Kenny was gone.

I exited the shower on my first evening in my new place and dressed in pajama pants and white tee shirt. It was home now, I could parade around in pjs. I walked out of my room to find Armin and Eren and get to know them better. I smelled the cooking even from the hallway, and it smelled delicious. I hurried to the kitchen to find Eren manning the oven, his back to me. Armin was at the kitchen table, studying from a textbook. He looked up when he caught my presence.

"Oh. Hey, Levi," he said. I noticed Eren's back stiffen. Armin continued, "Eren's making us some fettuccini." He smiled at me. I nodded back, taking a seat at the table.

"What are you studying?" I asked.

"Biology. I'm a bio major." Armin said.

"He's got a crush on the professor." Eren chimed in.

"EREN!" Armin was blushing.

"What? He doesn't know the professor, it's chill."

"The professor, huh? That's some shit, kid. Good luck." I said. Eren laughed, and I was glad that he was starting to relax a bit. We talked idly about Armin's professor crush while Eren cooked. It didn't take long before he was done and Armin put away his book as Eren brought us both a plate of steaming alfredo. As he set done my plate, he glanced over at my red plaid pajama pants and smiled.

"I like your PJs." He said, taking a plate for himself and sitting down.

_Wow. His smile is so sexy. _

Eren POV

"Thanks." Levi responded. I slurped back some noodles trying not to think about him in his pajamas.

I watched Levi's face as he took his first bite of my cooking. He nodded appreciatively.

"This is good. Not too salty like most people make it." Although it was only a small compliment, I flushed with pleasure.

"I like a man who can cook." Levi said, looking me in the eye. I choked a bit on my noodle and leaned to the side coughing while Armin laughed.

After I got myself straightened out, I sat back up and flipped Armin off.

"I'm not gay." I said.

"Sure, Eren." Armin looked sweet, but he was snarky. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I'll have you know, I have a date this Friday night." Levi and Armin both looked at me sharply.

"With who?" Armin asked.

"Mina Carolina." I said, "_Miss _Mina Carolina."

"Are you sure that's a good idea, Eren?" Armin was genuinely concerned.

"Yeah, Armin. Come on, it's just a date."

"You barely know her!" Armin put his fork down.

"She's a physics major like me! We have a class together. She's Mikasa's friend, as well. She's cute and nice and she told me she's excited about seeing me. That's good enough for me." I made a point of eating normally since Levi and Armin had stopped and we both staring at me with narrowed eyes.

"Where are you taking her?" Levi asked, resuming eating.

"Ah, we're gonna do a stereotypical movie date at hers."

"You're going to her house?" Armin said, worriedly.

"Yeah, nothing good is out in theaters. All a bunch of alien movies. I hate this new trend." I was trying to change the subject. Levi was staring down at his food. Armin was looking at me.

"Okay, Eren." Armin went back to his food. The rest of Levi's house-warming dinner was spent in tense silence.

The rest of the week was full of awkward Levi moments. A couple of times I ran straight into him, not realizing he wasn't used to my way of barreling out of rooms blindly. Armin, being around me since childhood, always anticipated it and moved out of way. Levi didn't anticipate it and a couple times we ended up smashed together, looking each other in the eye. He always would grip onto my back when this would happen, and a couple time I swore he was leaning up for a kiss. I was always shakey when I ran away from him.

He would walk from the shower to his room in only a towel, and since my room's door was almost always open with me laying on the bed on my laptop or reading, I always saw him, whistling and waving hi at me like he wasn't something straight out of my dirty dreams. Times when Levi would walk around shirtless after showering were the worst because he would stay like that for hours. Those muscles… god I had dreams.

I couldn't wait for my date. I needed it to help me sort through my feelings. It came soon enough though. Too soon, maybe… I ran around preparing for my date. Showering, shaving, putting on my own cologne that I only used for special events. I wore my best dark jeans and dressy shoes with a green button up that matched my eyes. I walked out and spun around for Levi and Armin, who were sitting on the couch in the living room.

"How do I look?" I asked.

"Great." Armin said. "Try to have fun."

"I will have fun, Armin, it's a date." I smiled and laughed, feeling giddy.

I looked over at Levi, who was looking away, his jaw tight. My smile fell. Did I do something wrong?

"Well… It's 7…I'm gonna go now." I grabbed my jacket and headed out to Mina's as Armin shouted for me to have fun one more time.

The entire walk over to Mina's, (she lived in another apartment complex not too far from ours), I thought about Levi. I didn't want to, but it seemed like he consumed my thoughts now. My free time was spent thinking about him, sometimes it was sexual, sometimes not. I just enjoyed him as a person. I liked is company and his awful toilet humor. We had some things in common, as well.

I had to stop thinking about him, I was almost to Mina's. I shook my head to clear it and then headed up to 5a. She answered the door excitedly, giving me a hug. Her flowery perfume fanned over my face as I bent down to return the hug. I liked the smell, but it wasn't sexy like Levi's musky cologne. I mentally smacked myself on the hand. I had to stop thinking about him. I was with Mina now dammit it. Focus on how pretty she is.

She was in a black skirt and red top. It was low cut and very lacy. The skirt hit her about mid-thigh. I wondered if she dressed up for me like I dressed up for her, or if she wore this around the house all the time. I tried to focus on her cleavage and her thighs; I tried to think of them as sexy.

She grabbed my hand and tugged me toward the couch.

"What movie you wanna watch? My roommate and I have Netflix."

"I don't care."

"Mmmm… how bout a scary movie?" She giggled and I found it very cute, but not necessarily sexy. I nodded and she told me to sit. I did, tugging my jacket off and trying to get comfortable. She flipped on a slasher movie and flipped off the lights. I could pay attention at all, glancing at her sitting beside me over and over.

After a popcorn and soda run and thirty minutes of gore, I did the cheesy fake stretch and put my arm over her. She giggled and suddenly got very close. She was cuddling me, I realized with a start. I smelled the flowers stronger now, and I tried to channel my raging hormones on finding that sexy. I ran my hand up her arm and was surprised at how warm and soft her skin was. She looked up at me.

"So, Eren," She purred to me and my throat got tight, "why did you want to ask me out?"

"I- I just. You're a phyics major and you're nice and you're pretty and –" She cut my rant off with a kiss. Fuck. She kissed me. I was blushing so hard and stuttering.

"Eren Yegaer, you are the cutest boy I have ever met." She leaned up and kissed me gently again, " I could just eat you up." Holy shit.

I brought my other arm over to warp them both around her and deepened the kiss. She parted her lips and allowed me to slip my tongue into her mouth. We kissed hesitantly for a few moments, both of us wanting to see if the other was going to take the lead. I knew she probably expected me to do so, but I was more of the submissive type.

She leaned closer and closer and then she swung her leg over me and settled squarely in my lap. Holy shit. Her butt was right on my increasingly confused boner. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me closer and closer until our bodies were flush together. She was pressed so hard on my lap; I was sure she could feel me start to get hard. I ran my hands up and down her sides, feeling the curves. After a few minutes of this she broke the kiss, grabbed my hand and placed it on her breast only to go right back to kissing me.

_Okay. I can do this. I like this. I really do. She's really warm. She's really soft. _

I played around, feeling her breasts, and she moved back to let me slip my hands into her shirt and feel her skin.

"God, you remind me of a puppy. Such big green eyes, so confused about how to touch me…" she laughed and wondered if that was a compliment or an insult. Perhaps, it was both. She twisted her shirt off and reached back to unhook her bra. As the straps fell, my heart stopped. Was she…was she expecting me to bang her? Was that this was?

Before I could get too far in my panicking, she leaned back into me, kissing me. Holy fuck, those things were soft and warm and right fucking there. I groped harder and harder. She got more excited and I fed off that excitement. After some time, she told me to lay down on the couch and she straddled me.

I looked up at her, skin flashing with the colors of the horror movie, as she unbuttoned my shirt. I focused on her breasts, and I didn't really like them. They were fun to touch, warm and soft, but I didn't like to focus on them. I didn't like to focus on her eyes, either, they were too dark. Too brown… not light enough… not gray…

She kissed up and down my chest. I settled my hands on her hips, then started stroking up and down her thighs when she started kissing me again. Oh, I liked this. I liked feeling the muscles in her thighs around me and her kissing me. Firm, warm….

_Levi… _

I opened my eyes and enjoyed the curtain of black hair around me.

_Levi…Black hair…Levi… warm muscles.. Levi.. _

I arched my hips up into his hers. He She grinded back and I moaned into his her mouth.

_God… I want your dick inside me… _

I closed my eyes, letting Levi feel my erection though my jeans.

_Levi.. Levi… Levi.. God yes.. Levi…._

I suddenly felt the air rush around me as Levi jerked away. Huh?

"Who the fuck is Levi?" That was not Levi's voice.

I opened my eyes to find a very, very pissed off Mina. I must have called his name outloud.

" I-I – Mina-" I registered pain before I registered the sound. The right side of my face hurt. She had slapped me. I looked up shocked into her dark eyes.

"My friends fucking warned me. 'Eren Yaeger is a fucking fag' they said. I should have listened. I'm fucking stupid." She was tearing up.

"Mi-" she slapped me again.

"GET OUT!" She screamed, jumping off of me and scooping her clothes up from the floor. I sat up and looked at her. She was standing next to the tv and I had a hard time differentciating between the killer going in for his next victim and Mina going in for another slap.

I flinched and shielded myself from her while standing up and rushing toward the door.

I ran out into the night, shirt still unbuttoned and boner not quite gone. I stumbled my way into the street, crying and buttoning my shirt with shaking hands. I cried the whole way home, not caring who saw.

"Fag" "Fag" "Fag" over and over I heard it in my head.

I tried to open the apartment door when I got home, but my hands were shaking too hard. I pounded my fist into the door, crying. I closed my eyes and slid down to the ground as the door opened.

"Eren?" It was Levi who answered. Of fucking course it was. I heard his footsteps lead away from me and then I heard rapid footsteps back.

"Eren! Eren!" That was Armin's voice. So Levi left to go get Armin.

Armin tugged at my arm. "Come on, Eren. Get inside and then we can talk." I let him tug me all the way to the couch.

"What happened, Eren?" Armin voice was gentle. He was kneeling next to me while I was curled up on the couch.

I cried harder.

"Levi, can you give us some time?" Armin was asking him to leave. I felt horrible making Levi leave what was his new living room.

"Sure," Levi's voice was thick.

Armin crawled up on the couch and comforted me while I cried my eyes out.

"I'm gay," I croaked out, "I want Levi." Armin nodded.

"She slapped me. She called me a fag." I continued. Armin hugged me tight.

"Let it out. Let it all out. You are safe now, Eren."

That's exactly what I did. I cried until I was exhausted.

I looked up at the clock through my puffy eyes. It was ten; I had cried for three hours.

I told Armin I needed to sleep, and he helped me to my room.

I collapsed on the bed, not even bothering to get under the covers.

Before I fell asleep, through barely open eyes, I saw Armin cover me up with a blanket while someone stood in the doorway. Someone in red plaid pajama pants.

* * *

I'm so sorry. The next chapter will have Ereri kisses. I promise.


	7. The First Move

I CANT SLEEP UGH. Have a shortish chapter. (I've been working my way up to 3k chapters and this one is 2k ugh). Ereri kisses as promised :D Warning: things get lightly sexual.

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Eren POV

I woke up groggy with a dull ache in my eyes. My first thoughts were about why I was sideways on the bed. It was especially confusing because I wasn't under the blankets, wasn't using a pillow, and has one of Armin's baby blue blankets. Then, it came back to me. I wanted to cry again. I wanted cry and throw things and punch a wall. Instead, I went to the bathroom.

On my walk down to the bathroom, I noticed the lights still on in the living room down the hall, but I just didn't care. I splashed cold water on my face. It ran down my face and neck and spread all over my shirt. I didn't care, though, it was already stained with tears. I threw my shirt off along with my pants. I didn't care about anything. I splashed more water on my face and barreled down the hallway for some tea.

I was still wiping at my eye when I walked into the kitchen. The first thing I saw when I looked up was Levi leaning against the counter, holding his tea in that weird way of his. I was suddenly very aware that I was only in my boxers. As I looked into his eyes, I decided I didn't care. I didn't care that I was splotchy from crying and nearly naked in front of the man of my dreams, all I wanted was some fucking tea.

"Is there tea?" My voice was cracking very badly. Levi nodded and turned around, reaching up to grab a cup out of the cabinet. A little section of his skin showed between his white thermal and low slung pajama bottoms. I stored the image away in my mind for my alone times later. He set the cup down on the counter and poured the tea in, handing it to me without looking me in the eye.

"I don't know how warm it is. I made it a while ago." It was cold. I gulped it down. I sat down at the table and set my cup in front of me. Levi was looking everywhere but my eyes.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"What the fuck, Levi?" He finally looked me in the eyes. I saw him blur a little bit and knew I was tearing up again. I closed my eyes and gulped hard. I refused to cry again. "Why the fuck would you apologize? This isn't your fucking-" I cut off into a growl, grinding my teeth together.

"I'm sorry for what happened to you. I'm sorry for the way the world treats us. I'm sorry you're in pain." I opened my eyes to look at him. We stared at one another for an indescribable amount of time.

I made the first move. I stood up, cross the space between us, and kissed him gently. It was brief, but significant. His lips were soft and warm and fit easily against mine. I didn't try to deepen it, I wasn't ready for a lot of action, I just wanted to communicate to him that I knew that I was gay, and that he was the one I wanted. When I pulled back I looked into his eyes and found nothing but acceptance. I let right hand rest on his waist and my left hand stroked his face, my fingertips just ghosting over his cheek.

"Eren," his hands slide up my sides and rested on my shoulders, "what is it you want?"

I leaned forward so close our foreheads were almost touching.

"I think you know what I want." He swallowed thickly and I smirked just a bit.

"That can mean a lot, Eren." I slide my nose down the side of his neck, feeling the rumble of his voice as he spoke. I paused at the base of his neck, inhaling his musk, and placed a gentle kiss there.

"I want a lot."

"Eren," He said, his voice getting thicker and lower. It was almost a warning. "You don't even know what you're saying."

I trailed my nose up his neck, peppering kisses as I went.

"I don't. I don't know anything about being with another man. All I know is that I want you. I want you a lot."

I was starting to nip at his neck when he moved his hands from my shoulders to my hair. He tugged sharply at my hair, jerking my face toward him. He led the kiss this time, and he was much more demanding. His mouth moved hard against mine, pulling my top lip into his mouth and biting it. He licked and nipped and teased with every kiss. Finally, I opened my mouth wider and let him slip his tongue inside. He played with my own tongue, explored my mouth, and even tickled me a few times. His hands dug into my shoulders and hair, and my own gripped at his waist. I could feel the fire curling down deep inside me and knew my boner was soon going to be pressed against his stomach. I opened my eyes while we were still kissing to find his eyes still closed. I considered my next move carefully.

_Fuck it. I'm doing it. _

I slid my hands to grip at his ass and his eyes flew open. I watched his pupils dilate with the sudden light change and he jerked back form the kiss right as I lifted him up.

"What the fuck?" he exclaimed as I placed him on the kitchen counter. He was now a good four inches taller than me.

"Easier," I grunted, and leaned back into him. Before I could kiss him, he burst out laughing. I watched him laugh, and laughed along at the happy sound.

"You just set my short ass on the fucking counter!" He laughed while he wrapped his arms and legs around me. My boner pressed into the counter in an uncomfortable way, but I ignored it. I was enjoying his happy face and the feel of his hands on my bare skin too much to possibly care.

"You know," he said running his nose down my neck, sending tingles down my spine and into my dick," on the bed, we're the same height- horizontal." He chuckled against my throat, and I made a weird whining noise in my throat that I had never heard before. I wanted to go to bed with him. I wanted to feel him all over and have him feel me all over. I wanted him inside me. However, I knew it was too soon. I knew I would regret it in the morning. I wasn't ready.

He kissed my throat like I had done before and my knees felt weak, especially since his heels were digging into my ass. I made the whiney noise again, and I wondered what it was. It happened naturally and I had never done it before. Perhaps I was whining for his dick.

"I-I want to go to bed with you, but-" I turned away from him, looking down. I didn't say anything more, my throat closing up.

"You're not ready for sex?" I nodded weakly.

"That's fine, Eren. We can do whatever you're comfortable with. " Levi said, his voice almost as soothing as the way he had begum rubbing my shoulders.

I gave him another peck on the lips.

"Let me grab some pants and I'll come into your room in a second." I didn't want my boner to be so obvious. I shifted nervously.

"Eren. Your boner could have Christmas lights wrapped around it and it wouldn't be any more obvious."

I laughed nervously.

"Just get in my fucking room." He pushed me back a bit and hopped down from the counter. "I'll strip down to my boxers, too, so we match." I followed behind him eagerly as we walked to his room.

He stepped off to the side of the bed to strip out of his shirt and pants while I went ahead and climbed on the bed, splaying out in a way was far too comfortable to be legal. I stretched out, enjoying the feel of the blanket against my bare skin. When I propped myself up to look at Levi, he was standing at the side of the bed, looking over me.

"God damn, I'm a lucky son of bitch." I laughed at his comment. He smiled at me, getting on the bed and crawling up me to press a kiss on me.

"It's true," he said. "You're beautiful, Eren."

"Even with my splotchy cheeks and puffy eyes?" I asked, aware that I couldn't be too pretty after crying for so long.

He pressed his body against me, getting comfortable.

"Especially with your splotchy cheeks and puffy eyes." He leaned pressed kisses all over my chest.

"What?" I didn't understand him. That made no sense. Was he saying he was even more attracted to me after I had been crying? Why in the world would that be?

Levi hummed lazily, working down my chest and bringing his mouth dangerously close to my nipple. I was aware of my boner pressing against his side and I could swear I felt him beginning to harden against my leg.

"What does that mean?" I needed to know. He kissed my right nipple and I let out a "_Holyfuckingshit". _

Levi gave me a slow grin and then gave a gentle suck on my nipple. I made the 'Levi dick' whine again.

"What does what mean?" My head was fuzzy, and my throat wasn't working. I just made little moaning noises as he sucked and kissed and nipped. I was trembling slightly and I tangled my hands in his hair. He pulled back his head and blew on my wet nipple, sending icy tingles up and down my body. I moaned and he chuckled.

He moved his head toward my left nipple and I choked out weakly, "No." He froze.

"No?" He sounded confused. I looked over at him and tried to remember what was so important that I had to stop him.

I let go him with one arm and threw it over my eyes, focusing hard on why I needed to stop him.

"Oh!" I said as it hit me. I looked down at him. His face was completely puzzled.

"Why did you say I was sexy when I cried?" He looked even more confused.

"You know, earlier you said I was especially attractive with my blotchy face and puffy eyes." I explained.

He suddenly turned stoic. He rolled off of me. I suddenly felt very cold. He sat up, then crawled over to the top of the bed. He pulled back the blanket and slid in.

"Levi, I'm sorry. I didn't mean t-" I started.

"Eren." He interrupted. "I just thought that you might prefer to be warm while I told this story. I – I can't fool around while I talk about my past." Oh shit. This was serious. I nodded, crawling up to him.

"God, you're fucking sexy." I was confused, all I did was climb over to him.

"What?"

"You and big green eye looking at me while you crawl over here all sexy. You're a god damn treat, Eren. Everything you do is tempting like candy." Holy shit.

"I-I-" I stuttered.

"Just get in." I did.

"Lay on me." He laid flat and I snuggled to his chest, pulling the blanket up to my neck.

I was warm, snuggled, and I felt content even with Levi's mouth not on my nipple.

"I wasn't saying you're crying was sexy; I was saying you emoting was sexy." He paused. He put one hand in my hair, stroking it, and the other hand reached out and held mine.

"You see… I used to really into drugs and the people I ran with…. They were bad people like me. All the boys I've ever dated before you were druggies like me. They spent all of their time acting tough. They were more likely to demonstrate their fighting skills than their cooking skills. Day and night, drugs consumed our thoughts. There wasn't much room for 'romance'. They tried so hard to intimidate and show no weakness. They never cried; they never showed any cuddly emotional side. I – I like the emotional side of you. You're not afraid to be vulnerable."

I cuddled closer to him. "Well, you're in luck. I cry all the time."

"Cry for the both of us, Eren. I never cry. I can only cry if I feel safe." I looked up at him.

"So you never feel safe?"

"Never."

"Not even now?" He laughed at my question.

"Especially not now." He suddenly got very serious, stroking my hair and looking at me passionately. "I'm too happy, right now. I have too much to lose." He kissed me again and I cuddled as close as I could get.

* * *

I'm so tired but I can't sleep. ugggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Now it's really late. :c I'll update when I wake up :D I write while I eat breakfast tbh


	8. Boyfriends?

This was extremely self-indulgent. Warning: lightly sexual and blood and scars are discussed.

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Eren POV

Armin woke us up early the next morning, banging on Levi's door and yelling.

"Eren is gone! Levi, Eren is gone!"

We both had jolted awake at the same time, nearly bumping head as we went from fast asleep spooning to wide awake and sitting up. Levi growled as he got up and threw open the door. This was the first time I had noticed Levi's back tattoo. I hadn't seen it last night in the dark while we were fooling around and cuddling. It looked to be a set of wings. Armin's eyes went wide as he quickly glanced down to Levi's boxers, where Levi's morning wood was bulging out.

"Ahh!" Armin cried, covering his blushing cheeks with his hands.

"Eren is in here." Levi said, pointing back toward me.

I waved at Armin as he peeked through his hands. He glanced back and forth between us before squeaking out a goodbye and rushing away toward the living room. Levi had closed the door quickly and returned to bed. He put a hand on my chest to push me down and then laid down on top of me. He snuggled my next, his boner pressed into my stomach. I inhaled his scent from his hair and wrapped my arms around him.

"Levi," I said. I needed to get up and go to the bathroom.

"No." Levi said, squeezing me closer.

"Levi!"

"No."

"Levi, I need to get up!"

"No. Go back to sleep."

I paused. I thought about what I was about to say and why I was about to say it. Part of me wanted to say it for the shock value, part of me wanted to say it to test the relationship we had made, and part of me wanted to say it because it was fucking true.

"Babe," I let the word slip out and felt him stiffen.

"Babe?" I laughed at how confused he sounded.

"Babe, let me up." He sat up, placing his hands on either side of my shoulders and setting his legs on either side of mine.

"No." He leaned down and kissed me gently, then he pressed his forehead to mine and said, "Babe."

I reached up, tangling my hands in his hair and pulling him down to me. I kissed him over and over, whispering "babe" in between kisses. I slid my hands down his back, running my fingertips lightly over his spine. I reached his lower back and massaged there for a second before I kept going.

_Ah yes, Levi's ass, my glory land…_

I let my hands play while Levi let out a gentle moan. I knew before long he would touch me back and we would get caught up in bed for who knows how long, so I acted quickly. I brought my hands up to his side and rand my fingers up and down it quickly, tickling him. He jerked up, and I kept going.

"Eren!" he laughed, "Stop!" I sat up, tickling him harder. His hands reached out to hold mine down but I pulled back at just the right time. I pushed him down on the bed and jumped off the side, running out of the room.

"Fucker!" he screamed at me.

"Babe!" I yelled back, laughing.

I took care of everything in the bathroom quickly, brushing my teeth twice now that Levi and I had kissed. I hoped to make that a regular thing. I hoped he wasn't turned off by my morning breath earlier. I think I distracted him from it with my touches.

I walked back to Levi's bedroom eager to resume what we had been doing.

He was laying on his side, his back towards me. I examined his tattoo closer. It was wings. They took up most of his back. I moved to him, looking closer. That was when I noticed all the scars. Some were faint, some were darker, and some crisscrossed over the tattoo, some never touched it…There was one that went from around his hip to his back in a jagged movement. It was particularly dark. I reached a finger- tip and stroked it gently. He went stiff. It seemed like every muscle in his body was tensed, almost like he was preparing for some sort of outburst of action. I removed my fingers. Things were tense for a few moments.

"Le-" I started.

"My turn in the bathroom." He cut me off, rolling out of bed and walking by me without so much as a glance. I watched him go, and then kept staring at the empty doorway for the longest time. I was worrying about what just happened. I must have crossed some sort of line. I put my hands in my head. I was so stupid.

I considered going back to my room, getting dressed, and then going about my day as usual. Not dealing with the problem was usually what I went for. It was what all my instincts told me. However, this budding relationship with Levi… this was something I was willing to out in work for…. Something I wasn't willing to give up on so easily.

I crawled back into his bed. I pulled his pillow down so it was flush down the length of my body and cuddled it as if it were him. I leaned down and inhaled it deeply. It smelled like his natural scent and not that cologne he was always dabbing on. The cologne was nice, but I preferred his natural scent. The cologne was woodsy; his natural scent was deeper, more natural sweaty man musk and I love it.

I heard his footsteps come back in, and I heard him approach the bed. I smiled into his pillow.

"Should I be jealous?" Levi's voice was light again, playful. I was happy. I didn't want him dwelling on what had happened between us with the scars.

I peeked up at him, seeing him sideways. His arms were crossed and he was smirking.

"Maybe…" I teased. He raised his eyebrow.

"My pillow a better boyfriend than me?" He asked, teasing me back. I paused. Is that what he thought of us as? I didn't know how he would react to me asking. I filed the information away, not wanting to make another mistake like before.

I hummed instead of answering.

He crawled up into the bed. He grabbed my arm closest to him and pulled it up. His other hand reached in and jerked the pillow out. He tossed it behind him without even looking. He pinned my arms down and put his legs on either side of mine. So we were going to resume what we were doing earlier.

"Mine." His gray eyes were so intense on mine that my throat was closing up. I felt my body start to heat up and was suddenly very, very aware that we were both only in boxers. I leaned my head back a bit and whined. It was all the invitation Levi needed. His mouth was on my neck, hard and fast. I felt him latch on to a few key spots, sucking and biting.

_Fuck…I – I don't know what I want… I want to give him my virginity but I've only known him for a week for fucks sakes… _

My dick was hard and I arched my hips to press it against his ass. He moved his hips down and let me find friction on his ass.

_Oh my god…. _

I moaned and he hummed into my neck, send vibrations straight down to my erection. He sucked hard a few more times and my eyes closed as I moaned again. I felt a cold rush of air on my wet neck as Levi sat up.

"Now everyone will know you are mine." My eyes fluttered open. His eyes were impossibly dark, and they were looking intensely into mine. I couldn't quite identify the emotion in them, but my head was too foggy with lust to try that hard, anyway.

He moved his hands from my wrists to the bed beside my wrists. I reached a shaking hand up to my neck, feeling lightly. There were a few places where I was extra tender, almost painful. So he had left hickeys on me. The thought of him leaving his mark on me was so intense and I wanted him to fuck me right then and there. I wanted him to bend me over and slam into me. I wanted to push my head into the pillows to soften my screams of pleasure. I wanted to feel his tongue on the back of my neck and his hands tugging my hair.

I swallowed hard, choking the moan that was threatening to come out of me. I needed to communicate with Levi.

"No." He immediately sat up, moving away from me.

"No?" He asked, obviously worried.

I took a few deep breaths, trying to settle down.

"We," I took another deep breath, "were just getting too intense. I- I'm not ready for sex, yet." I blushed and looked away. I was afraid I had disappointed him.

He laid down beside me, propping himself up on his side. His fingers feathered across my cheek. I peeked up at him. He was smiling.

"You're so beautiful, Eren." I looked away again.

"No.. no… look at me with those beautiful eyes." He whispered in a rough tone. I looked back up at him, blushing harder now.

"Whenever you are ready, Eren. I don't mind waiting. I really don't." I started to tear up. I turned on my side and buried my face in his chest. I wrapped my arms around him.

"Eren…" he said adoringly, "You are loved so much." I snuggled tighter. I rand my hands over his back, feeling his warmth. He hummed. I paused when I felt long line of what could only be scar tissue right where the long scar had been before. I pulled my hands back.

"S-sorry, Levi," I said. Oh god, I hoped that I hadn't messed things up again. He hushed me.

"It's fine, Eren. Touch if you want to."

"Before you-" I was going to say 'ran off' but it sounded too aggressive, "didn't like it."

He sighed. "Earlier, I just – didn't know how to react. That scar has a really bad story behind it. It's probably the one scar I don't ever talk about. Ever." There was a warning in his voice. I figured he meant not even to me.

"I can touch without you feeling bad, though? I don't want to make you feel bad."

"I don't really feel bad when it's you touching it. I feel-" He stopped. I looked up at him. His eyes were closed.

"What?" I asked. Several moments passed. I didn't get a response.

"You feel what, Levi?" I prompted him again. He sighed, opening his eyes.

"I'm not good at this, Eren. I'm not good at being vulnerable. The first time I was open and vulnerable to someone, they gave me that scar we were discussing. I'm going to try, though, for you. I'm willing to try for you…" he got softer and softer while he spoke until he was only whispering the last part.

"Levi," I didn't know what else to say.

"When you touch that scar, I feel accepted. Even though you don't know how I got it, I feel like you care for me… even though you see how ugly I am."

"You're not u-" I started.

"I know what I am, Eren." He closed his eyes again. "I'm rotted from the inside out."

"Levi, please don't say those things!"

"I've destroyed my body from the inside out with drugs, Eren. I've done horrible things for drugs. I'm not a good person." He kept his eyes closed. "No longer am I a good person." For some reason, this rephrasing seemed significant.

"Levi!" I snuggled deep into his chest. I didn't know how to help him. I knew I would try, though.

We cuddled for as long as we could, clinging together. I pressed myself hard against him as if I were applying pressure to a wound, as if he were bleeding. He shivered when I began tracing the scar up and down and I knew that he was bleeding, just not physically.

_But he has bleed physically… I wonder how much blood he lost when this happened. _

I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry for him, like he said before. I thought about what he had said a lot through the night. I couldn't accept that he never felt safe. It was my new goal to make him a safe place here, right here in this room, where he could cry. It seemed to strange to say, but I wanted to see him cry. I wanted him to feel safe.

My stomach was the first one to growl. I groaned when I heard it.

"Let's get up and eat, Eren."

"No." I cuddled harder. He laughed and I smiled at the rumbles in his chest.

"Do I have to trick you with ass grabbing and tickling, too?"

"Maybe," I teased him. I felt his hands slip down from my waist to my hips.

"Oh really?" My breath caught in my throat. Levi's hands could very soon be on my ass. I stiffened, and I knew he felt my hesitation because he removed his hands from me. One good thing about Levi, he always was quick to respect my boundaries. When I said no, he was always instantly off me.

"Kidding. Let's go eat." He kissed the top of my head before untangling our limbs.

I glanced at the clock on my way out. It was noon. God, no wonder I was hungry! I hadn't eaten dinner the night before because I had been crying.

As I went back to my room and got dressed, I reflected on that. I had done a complete 180 from last night. I was on a healthy, happy path with Levi now. I was no longer living in the closet. I was ready for a boyfriend. I was ready for Levi. I smiled as I picked out my clothes for the day- a t-shit the color of Levi's eyes and some blue jeans.

I walked out to the kitchen where Armin and Levi were already sitting. Levi was munching on some cereal, reading the newspaper casually. I paused to take in this moment of domestic life Levi. He was so sexy, even doing normal things. I sighed, alerting the others to my presence, I had it bad.

Armin looked at me and laughed.

"What?" Levi and I asked at nearly the same time.

"You didn't notice? You two are so gay, you're wearing shirts the color of your boyfriend's eyes!" He laughed so hard the table shook. I looked over at Levi, and he was, in fact, in a vivid green button up left open with a white tank underneath. The sleeves were rolled up to the elbow and I wanted to kiss him for the gift of Levi forearm. We stared at one another before laughing ourselves. He was looking at me so adoringly. It was the way you would look at a lover.

Armin did remind me of my previous question: Are Levi and I boyfriends? Does Levi think of me as his boyfriend?

I just didn't know.

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I've got some new tea bags so expect lots more chapters. I can't write without tea tbh.


	9. Boyfriends

Once again, this was so indulgent. Warning: sexual stuffs

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Levi POV

"Hey, new guy!" one of the customers yelled at me over the bar counter. God, I hated those kinds. I gave him a pointed look and opened my mouth to say something nasty when I hear Mikasa's voice cold and low from behind me.

"His name is Levi." The guy looked at her and apologize before ordering his drinks. I thought about Eren while I mixed them.

Life with Eren was amazing. I was happier than ever. Eren and I spent every night together in one of our rooms. We hadn't had sex yet, but there was a lot of heavy petting. Less though, when I got this job working at the same bar as Mikasa. I didn't really have a choice, with my background. I barely squeaked in, and I would be lying if I said Mikasa vouching for me wasn't why I got the job.

Meeting her had been… interesting to say the least. It turns out she was very, very protective of Eren. I appreciated it, but it had been hard to get through her screening process.

"_Mikasa is here!" Eren had called out as soon as the doorbell rang. He ran out of the kitchen where was making chocolate chip cookies. _

"_You invited Mikasa over?" Armin looked at Eren from his place on the couch. I was also sitting on the couch, searching for jobs on my laptop. Nothing looked too promising…_

"_Well, yeah… She had to meet Levi sometime." Eren opened the door, immediately pulling his sister in for a hug. She hugged him back eagerly. Still hugging him, she looked over his shoulder and narrowed her eyes at me. Eren let her go, and they separated. _

"_Mikasa, meet my – um, meet Levi." I noticed his stumble and wondered about what he thought about our relationship. I wanted to make it official that he was my boyfriend, but I just didn't know how. _

"_I'll make the tea." Armin said, jumping up, hugging Mikasa, and heading into the kitchen. Eren came over to me, kissing me lightly on the lips then tugging me into the kitchen. He beamed behind me at Mikasa. _

_We sat together as Armin made tea, me and Eren on one side of the table, Mikasa staring me down on the other side. Armin made the tea while Mikasa and I stared at one another and Eren smiled at us. No one said anything until Armin came over with the tea. _

"_It's green tea with a little twist of lemon. I hope that's okay with everyone." Armin said, taking his seat. _

_Eren was the only one who answered, "Yeah." _

_Eren and Armin sat sipping tea and making small talk while Mikasa and I kept waging our eye war. Mikasa didn't say anything until Eren reached over and held and my hand. _

"_Eren, why are you with him?" Mikasa asked with no emotion in her voice. _

"_Mikasa!" Eren and Armin both said at the same time. _

"_It's okay. It's a perfectly reasonable question to ask." I said. Mikasa narrowed her eyes, reaching a hand up to her scarf and pulling it closer to her face. _

"_I'm with Levi because I have feelings for him. It's very simple, Mikasa." Eren sipped his tea. "So stop staring at him like that."_

"_Is he hurting you?" Mikasa asked. _

"_I would never hurt Eren." I answered before Eren had a chance to. _

"_I wasn't asking you." Mikasa's black eyes were icy and hard. _

"_He is," Eren took a deep breath and held my hand to his cheek, still clutching it, "so very gentle with me, Mikasa." Mikasa looked over to Eren, and I saw her soften. I looked over to Eren. His big green puppy dog eyes were looking at me with such love struck awe and he was blushing slightly. I swallowed hard, thinking about how much I didn't deserve him. I stroked his face. _

_Mikasa hummed. "Have you had sex yet?" _

_I saw Eren's eyes widen at the same time he turned bright red._

"_Mikasa, Eren is a big boy now." Armin said simply. _

"_No, Mikasa, we are taking it slow." Eren answered. _

"_Good. He respect your boundaries? He's not making you do anything? He's not abusive?" Wow, this girl gets right to the point. I respected that. Eren made intense eye contact with Mikasa. _

"_As soon as I say no, he is off of me. It's instant." Eren said. _

_Mikasa nodded. "It better be." _

_Armin shot me an apologetic look. Eren scooted closer to me and nuzzled at my shoulder. _

_Mikasa relaxed a bit, perhaps finally sensing that Eren really did like me and wasn't being held captive. She finally poured some tea into a cup, and surprisingly she handed it to me before pouring another one for herself. I looked at it shocked. Eren smiled so big that I didn't think he could ever stop. _

"_Welcome to the family," Mikasa said, smiling at me for the first time. Armin sighed in relief and Eren laughed. _

"_Thank you," I said, sipping the tea. We made pleasant conversation after that. I was very surprised to find that it seemed like Mikasa liked me. When we got to the topic of my work, I explained that I was currently looking for a job. Mikasa offered to talk to her boss and see if I could get hired in the open bartender position there. I didn't really like dealing with drunk people, but I was good a mixing drinks. I accepted her offer and a week later, I was a bartender at the bar called Wall Maria. _

I still felt a pull to use whenever things got tricky. I was getting better and better at working through it though. I worked later than Eren did, he worked at his school library, and so I would come home to a dark house. Most of the time I was stressed and thinking about nothing but drugs, but after I showered the stench of booze off me and climbed into bed with a sleeping angel, I felt better.

I would walk down the hall, seeing if his door was open. If it was, then he was in my room; if it was shut, then he was in his room. I had open invitations to snuggle with him either way. I would sleep in only my boxers, just like him, pressed firmly against his back in the spooning position. It was a little awkward for me since I was smaller than him, but it was worth it because I had such access to his neck. It was nothing for me to lean forward and inhale his sunshine scent. Occasionally, he would mumble or adjust in his sleep, which I found too cute. His soft pink lips parting, mumbling nonsense while he rolled over gently…He was my sleeping angel.

I sighed and rolled my head back to stretch my neck. Mikasa came over to me.

"Our shifts end at the same time tonight, right?" I nodded at her question.

"You wanna grab a bite to eat after work, then?" she asked, tucking her hair behind her ear. I couldn't pass up an opportunity to get closer to Eren's sister and my coworker, even though I was sure it was just going to turn into her grilling me. I agreed, and we headed to a little open all night diner.

It was 3 am now, so they served both dinner and breakfast. I ordered a stack of pancakes and Mikasa got a chicken club sandwich.

"Do you love my brother?" She asked as soon as the food had arrived.

I poured syrup all over my pancakes, before I answered.

"I think I do."

"What do you mean 'think'?" she asked, pouring ketchup in the corner of her fry basket.

"I mean," I sliced some butter on top of them, "I don't really understand what love is exactly, but I do know that what I feel for Eren is stronger than anything I have ever felt before."

"You mean to say you didn't understand love until you met Eren? Fucking really? That sounds like some Nicholas Spark shit, Levi." At least she was being honest with me.

"I know. It's hard for me to explain. I never really had anyone care for me romantically until Eren, so…" I trailed off lamely. I was beginning to find my pancakes really interesting. I didn't want to talk about my past, but I knew the way to Mikasa's respect was by being open.

"You never had any other boyfriends before Eren?" She sounded doubtful.

"I did." I hesitated, "They weren't really, um, interested in me romantically, though." I looked up at her stoic face.

"Were you interested in them romantically?"

"Not really." I took a deep breath and bit the bullet. "We were using each other, Mikasa. I have a long past with drug and violence and all that good stuff, okay? We used each other for sex and company while using and for help getting drug when we ran out."

Her eyes narrowed. "You are clean now." It wasn't a question. It wasn't even a hint of a question. Her voice told me that if I dared to say that I had been high around Eren, I would be beaten right then and there in the booth at the diner down the street from the bar.

"Yes. I am clean now." I was proud to say that.

"How long have you been clean?" Of course she had to fucking ask that.

"Well, it's November now, so" I did some quick math, "5 months almost."

"You ever think about going back to using?"

"Yes." I was no longer proud of myself. "I always deal with the urges, though. Most of the time I –"I stopped.

"Most of the time you what?" She was icy.

"I cuddle with Eren until the urge passes." I looked at her. She nodded.

"Okay."

"Okay?" I was confused.

She took a big bite of sandwich and let me sit there uncomfortable while she chewed.

"So long as you don't start using again, I still approve of your relationship."

"Even though I have a bad past?"

"I can't judge you on your past, Levi. I'm the last one to do that. There's a reason why Eren's family adopted me." She looked deep into my eyes. "I care only about your present and what you're doing to better yourself."

I was shocked. I wanted to hug her. I hadn't felt accepted by so many people in a long time.

"Thank you," I was a little emotional.

She sat back in the booth. "I like you, Levi. I know it may not seem like it, but I really do."

"Why?" I had to ask.

"It seems like you truly like Eren and have his best interest in mind. Plus you're open with me."

"I knew if I wasn't open, I would never earn your respect, and that's important to me." She raised her eyebrows.

"Oh?"

"You are important to Eren, and so you are important to me."

She nodded and went back to eating. We finished our food quickly and went outside.

"I go this way to Annie." She jerked her thumb in the opposite direction.

"Your girlfriend, right?"

"Yeah."

"So I guess I'll see you later?"

"Yeah."

I turned to walk away toward Eren, and I heard her call out for me to wait.

I turned back to her.

"Levi, if you need anything, anything at all, let me know." Wow. That was impressive for her to say to me.

"Thank you. I will."

"Also, for fucks sake, make it official."

"What?" I asked her, confused at the sudden subject change.

"Eren calls me all the time to talk about our lives. He's keeps mentioning how he doesn't know if you two are officially boyfriends or not." Oh.

"I want to, I just don't know how."

"Just fucking ask him while you're cuddling or something. He'll probably cry a bit. He does that when he's really happy."

"That would make him really happy?"

"Yes."

"Then I will do it." I said. She smiled at me.

"I knew I would like you." She waves bye to me and left to go to her girlfriend.

The whole way home I wondered about how I would phrase it. Just asking seemed like it wasn't romantic enough. When should I do it? He was asleep by now. Should I get him like a teddy bear and give it to him while I ask? Ugh. That was too cheesy. Fuck.

I walked into the dark house as usual, threw my coat on the coat rack and went to shower. I thought about my friendship with Mikasa and Armin and taking the next step with Eren while I showered.

I wrapped my towel around my waist and grabbed my dirty clothes to throw into my hamper. I walked by Eren's room and saw the door open. He was in my room then. However, I found my door open, too. Eren was sitting against the headboard, his face and shoulders illuminated by his cellphone, which he was texting into. I walked into the room and threw my clothes into the hamper. He jumped a little and looked at me. I was in a bit of a pickle now. I always just put my boxers on now, since he was always asleep. I was fully naked underneath the towel.

"What are you doing awake?" I asked. I had decided that worse comes to worse scenario, I could always ask Eren to close his eyes. I didn't care if he saw me naked, but I wasn't sure he was ready for that yet.

"Mikasa texted me a little while ago and told me I would want to be awake when you got here." He smiled at me. "So what is it?"

"Um…" I shifted uncomfortably. He sat forward on the bed.

"Come on, Levi, I'm excited!"

"Will you be my boyfriend?" I rushed it out. He froze.

"Like officially? Not just bed buddies?"

"Of course." He beamed at me.

"Yes!" He crawled off the bed and hugged me, stroking my cheek to bring my face up to his for a kiss.

"Eren," I said once he was done. I needed him to know I was just in the towel.

He turned toward the bed, tugging my hand in that direction.

"Levi," he said. He crawled up on the bed and spread out sideway on the bed like he had the first time we shared a bed. Fuck it. I tucked the towel further into my waist and crawled on top of him.

He kissed me eagerly, like it was the first time all over again. I felt his hands tangle in my hair and pull me close. His warm, strong legs wrapped around my waist and he dug his heels into my ass.

"Eren," I warned, "I'm not wearing anything underneath this towel." He froze.

He looked at me wide eyed and I could see the contemplation on his face through the soft moonlight. I was grateful for the parted curtains. I let him think.

"Levi." He opened his mouth to say something a little more, then closed it along with his eyes. I noticed a blush start to spread across his cheeks.

"What is it, Eren? Anything, boyfriend, you name it and I will do it." I peppered kisses up his neck, pausing to give extra attention on his most recent hickeys.

"Will you-"he stopped again, and I looked up to see his red face

"Yes, Eren. Name it and I will do it."

"Take the towel off?" He closed his eyes tight.

"Are you sure?" I had to be sure he was okay with this. I didn't know exactly how far he wanted to go right now, but I needed his full consent before we took this next step.

"Yes." He opened his eyes and looked at me. "I want you to. Just be gentle with me," he whispered the last part.

"Always." I said, kissing him lightly. I reached down and loosened the twist holding my towel on. The rough fabric fell onto Eren's stomach and he blushed harder. I pulled the towel up and out from between us before tossing in the general direction of the hamper. I would get it later. Right now, there was more important things to think about. Like my dick out in the open between me and my hot as fuck boyfriend.

I didn't really know how far he wanted to go, so I started to kiss and nip at his neck and shoulders. I knew he liked this more than anything we had done so far, and I wanted him to be happy. His hands gripped my shoulders as he moaned. He dug his heels into my ass and I shifted my hips forward with the pressure. My dick pressed softly into his stomach and I thoroughly enjoyed the skin to skin contact.

We kissed harder and harder, letting our hands and mouths wander, getting out of breath and filling the room with the smell of sweat and the sound of moans. He had yet to touch my dick, but I suspected that that was about to change when he trailed his fingers down my abs.

"I want to touch," he whispered roughly, looking into my eyes.

"Then touch," I said, hearing my heart beat pound in my throat and my blood rushing in my ears.

"I-I don't know how," he bit his lip. This boy would be the death of me. I kissed him once roughly before gently taking his hand and placing it on my erection. I look into his wide eyes.

"Do whatever you want to, boyfriend," I whispered in his ear, licking the edge of it. He squirmed.

I felt the warmth of his hand wrap around my dick. "It's big." He said simply.

I wanted to thrust into his hand, but I wasn't sure he would be okay with it. I settled for a gentle forward motion. He allowed his hand to slide over my skin and I groaned into the base of his throat.

"This will fit in me?" He asked.

"If you want," I said breathily. "I'll make sure you have plenty of prep."

I looked into his eyes and saw how worried he was. "I won't hurt you, Eren. I promise." I had flashbacks to how my own virginity was taken and I twisted my face up and closed my eyes. His hands were gone almost instantly.

"Did I hurt you?" I opened my eyes again and shook my head.

"No, silly, you felt good. I just had a bad memory."

"Okay." He timidly reached between us and grasped my erection again. He bit his lip as he began to slowly pump up and down. I groaned, letting my head pressed forward into his chest. I felt him pause when he felt my precum. He took it onto his finger and held it up to his face. He place another finger on top of it and squeezed it. When he took his fingers away it strung out between the two fingers.

"Whoa." He said. I was so confused. He looked like a kid in a candy shop, but it was just my fucking precum. He made eye contact with me and quickly looked away.

"Sorry." He apologized.

"Do what you want, Eren." I said, missing the feeling of his hand on me.

He blushed really hard. "I want to try something." He wiped his fingers on his boxers.

"Okay. Whatever you want."

He looked away. "You lay down." Oh boy. I thought I knew where this was going, and I was excited. I laid down next to him and he cautiously rolled over on top of me.

He was biting his lip and blushing so hard when he started moving down toward my waiting erection.

He got down until he was face level to it. He blushed bright red. I stroked his hair.

"You don't have to, Eren." He started shaking his head before I even finished. He looked at me with those puppy eyes.

"I want to; I just don't know how." His voice cracked a bit.

I laughed, and he looked away.

"No, no, no… Eren, there is no way to mess up a blow job." He looked back at me. "Unless, of course, you bite it. Don't do that." I corrected myself. He nodded.

He looked back down. His tongue licked at his lips. I shivered a bit. That little pink tongue, those little pink lips… He leaned forward and experimentally ran the tip of his tongue up my length. I made a low noise in the back of my throat as the pleasure shot through me.

He took it as a sign to continue as he did it again, this time using a flat tongue. I stroked at his hair while I let out a low moan. I didn't hold back my sounds like I usually would because I knew he needed all the encouragement he could get being new at this. He reached up and pulled the tip to his lips, kissing and licking. I whined and tugged his hair forward. He knew exactly what that meant and slid me into his hot little mouth.

"Fuck!" I cried. His was the hottest mouth I had ever been in. I knew his skin was above average temperature, but I had never really thought about what that had meant for the inside of his mouth. I could only imagine how warm it was in his virgin ass. I groaned loud and long and low as he took me as deep as he could at the same time that thought hit me.

He pulled back and smiled at me. "It tastes good! Wow!"

"Fuck," I said weakly. I didn't know what else to say. He was going to be the death of me. He laughed, fanning his breath over my wet dick and sending icy waves of pleasure up my spine. I arched my hips up to draw his attention back to my growing problem.

He wrapped his lips around me and bobbed his head up and down eagerly. Just like a puppy with a new toy, he was so excited to play and experiment and have fun with it. He got faster and faster, sucking harder. I no longer was in control of the noises coming out of my throat.

"Fuck! Fuck! Eren!" I cried out, thrusting into his mouth. "Eren! Stop if you don't want me to cum in your mouth." He had to know I was getting closer. If he stopped, I assumed he would finish me with his hand or I could if he didn't want to. Surprisingly, he hollowed his cheeks and took me as deep as he could. I felt his throat around me and I lost it. I made the loudest, most erotic 'fuck me' noises I had ever made before as I poured into his throat. He held me in his mouth until I had finished cumming, then he gave me one more hard suck, causing me to arch up with a scream and released me with a _pop_.

He tugged off his boxers and threw then on the ground somewhere in the general direction of the hamper. He crawled up and snuggled into my chest.

"Eren," I said in between pants.

"Hmmmm?" he snuggled closer to me, kissing my chest.

"Did you just swallow my cum?"

He laughed. "I've always wondered what that was like." He propped himself up on his elbows and made direct eye contact with me. I was sweating and shivering, trying to calm down.

"I liked it." He licked his lips, "Yummy."

"Fuck." I said weakly. He didn't even know what he was doing. I wasn't going to make it. He's too much for me.

"Would you like me to return the favor?" I asked, "Because I will."

He blushed. "Um, you don't need to." It took a moment for me to figure it out.

"You came while blowing me?" He blushed and nodded.

"Fuck." I didn't know what to say.

After a couple minutes, I asked him to grab my towel from the floor. He did, and I cleaned up everything before tossing it into the hamper. I opened my closet and went to grab some boxers before Eren called out to me.

"No, Levi, don't put on clothes." I turned my head and saw him sitting under the covers, looking like the thought of me in clothes was illegal.

"No?"

"No!" He huffed, crossing his arms. He looked like a kid. I laughed.

"Do you want something to wear? We're both naked, you know."

"No! Just get in here and snuggle me!" I liked him when he was so cute and demanding.

"How can I refuse?" We cuddled all night, holding each other as close as we could get.

* * *

I finally figured out what my next two stories are gonna be! I like having two going at once, and right now its this one and trans!eren. Next I'm gonna do a mermaid au and maybe some sort of angel/demon au. I'm feeling the fantasy side now that i have two in realistic/modern day.


	10. Safety

Remember when this story was only to be 5 chapters long? *laughs*

Alright, now for the warnings. Oh boy.

Warning: there is a rape flashback. I have outlined it- if you want to skip it it will be in the outline in all italics. I go into the details of the before and talk about the emotional aftermath. I do not describe the during.

Warning: the person abused is a minor.

Warning: knives and scars are discussed

Warning: the word f****t is used a lot in the flashback

* * *

Eren POV

I wanted to have sex with Levi. I wanted to feel him moving inside me. I was at least certain of that much. I just didn't know how exactly to get there. It had been about a month since we officially became boyfriends and since I had given my first blowjob. I had had a lot of practice since then, learning a lot of Levi's favorite things. I loved hearing him moan and seeing his eyes roll back in his head. He had given me lots of blowjobs, too, and when his mouth was around me, sucking hard, I couldn't ever believe I thought I was straight.

I had started day dreaming about having sex with Levi more and more. I was so nervous about anal sex, though. I did the only thing I could think to do. I went to Armin.

I knocked on his door hesitantly. I heard him turn down his music, some pop music radio station and yell for me to come inside. I stepped in, closing the door behind me. He was sitting at his desk, books in front of him. I leaned against the door and felt a little guilty for interrupting his study session.

"What's up?" He asked, twisted around in his chair to face me.

"I-I-" I closed my eyes. "I'll come back later!" I rushed it out and turned around. I put my hand on the knob of the door when I heard him.

"Eren." He said gently.

"You're studying. I shouldn't interrupt. Your studies are import-" I started. I was sweating.

"You wanna have sex with Levi, don't you?" I froze. Fuck.

"Yeah." I said shakily.

"I figured. I have been waiting for you to come to me for about a week now." Armin said. I turned back around.

"Really?"

"You think I can't hear those moans? Sounds like a couple of animals in heat, I swear." I blushed a deep red. I didn't think the wall were soundproof, but I didn't think about him hearing either. "Sit."

I walked toward the bed, and sat on the foot of it.

"You need to know about anal sex?" He asked. I nodded, biting my lip and occupying my hands with fussing with my shirt. I was glad Levi was at work with Mikasa right now.

"Do you know if you'll be topping or bottoming , yet?" he asked gently.

"What?" I squeaked.

"Are you gonna take his dick in you or are you gonna shove your dick in him?" He clarified. God! This was so awkward for me! Armin was cool and collected, though.

"I don't really know." I covered my face with my hands.

"Think about your fantasies, Eren. Surely you must have some about Levi." His voice was so gentle.

"Okay?"

"Are you thinking about your fantasies?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Are you on top or on bottom?"

"I-I'm on bottom." I blushed so hard.

"Eren, calm yourself. I love dick in my ass, too. You came to the right place." He smiled at me. My tension broke then, and I laughed despite myself. We laughed together. I knew I was going to be okay, then. He twisted around to his desk, then pulled out a small blue box labeled 'Eren' on it. He handed it to me.

"I took the liberty of picking you up some things that I think will help you." I almost dropped the box when I opened it. He laughed at my face.

"You bought me all this? So I could take Levi's dick?" I asked, shocked. The box was full of things I couldn't even name.

"Of course. Having a dick in you for the first time is like magic. I may not be there, but I still want to make sure you are taken care of."

"Thank you, Armin." I was so relieved. He clapped his hands.

"Now! Down to business!" He took out each object and went into a lot of details about what it was, how it was used, and how I should take care of it. It took hours. By the end of Armin's class on anal sex, though, I felt confident that I would soon be with Levi.

As I left, clutching my new box of magic, I heard Armin yell, "Go get 'em, Tiger!" I laughed all the way back to my room, where I stashed it under the night stand. I was so excited. Levi wasn't going to know what hit him!

Levi POV

I had the sneaking suspicion that Eren wanted to have sex with me. He had been getting more and more intense during our nightly fool around time. He was so eager to discover everything he could. He frequently asked me to teach him everything I knew. He got so excited over everything. He was so sensitive and reactive that I quickly learned his favorite things. He loved giving me hickeys, but he liked receiving them even more. He loved giving me handjobs, but he liked it when we pressed our penises together and rubbed them off at the same time more. He loved touching me, but he loved getting out the massage oil and rubbing me down more. I picked up on those things easily.

I had started thinking about Eren at work. Which was where I was now. I had been doing well at work, even though being around the drunks drug up all sorts of old memories. I hated thinking about my past, but Eren, Armin, and Mikasa's acceptance helped me a lot. I still thought about using a lot, especially since I could pick out a stim abuser from a mile away. I sometimes thought about sneaking away, grabbing a hold of them and seeing if they would sell to me. If they wouldn't, I still had all my old contacts anyway. Eren wouldn't have to know if it was just once…

I really needed to get rid of them… my old contacts, I mean. I really only needed to keep in touch with Hanje and Mike. I didn't need the rest of them dragging me down. Eren was too important to me. I visited with Hanje and Mike regularly. They caught me up on the latest news in their world, and I did the same. It turns out Mikasa and Mike knew each other from Mikasa's old job as a waitress at Mike's restaurant. He had his own little place, and Mikasa really liked working for him. He always protected her and took her side when knocked out a customer for grabbing at her. She had only left because she wanted to be closer to Annie.

"Hey, Levi, you okay?" It was Mikasa. I had been zoning out big time. I snapped out of it, and shook my head.

"Yeah."

"Your shift was over five minutes ago." She informed me. Oh my god, you mean I could have already been five minutes down the road to Eren?

"Bye!" I called out.

I went through my usual routine as soon as I got home. Eren was almost always awake when I got home now. He had dropped his morning class in favor of sleeping in after fooling around with me all night. I pretended to argue with him, but I was secretly glad. I liked getting handsy with him. He insisted it wasn't that important of a credit anyway.

I had stopped even bothering putting on clothes to sleep, as did he. It was nothing short of a blessing that every night I got to climb in the already warm bed and press myself against Eren's naked body. I walked down to the bedroom, his this time, and threw my towel in his hamper. After so long of throwing clothes and towels, we had both gotten to where we could get in the hamper in the dark.

He was on his side, reading a paperback. I climbed in beside him, spooning him. I peppered kisses all along his back and he whined. I ran a hand down his stomach and started playing with his dick. He moaned and let the book fall close.

"Whatcha reading?" I asked, licking the back of his neck.

"I-I don't know." He squirmed, trying to roll on his back to give me full access to his forming erection.

"Really? Looks like you were really far into it." I was teasing him.

"Fuck me, Levi, I forgot as soon as you touched me." He groaned, wiggling his ass against me.

"Okay." I said simply and waited for him to figure it out. He didn't.

"What?"

"You said 'fuck me, Levi'. I said 'okay'." I kept my touches on his dick light, teasing him. He pushed his hips forward into my hand. I removed my hands, causing him to whine. I rolled him over on his back and kissed him.

"You really would fuck me?" He asked with his big emerald eyes looking more innocent than ever. I laughed.

"You have to ask, you beautiful, innocent boy? I would eat you up!" I started sliding down his body, planning on sucking him off to prove my point. He stopped me, though.

"I want you to fuck me, Levi." I stared up at him, my face only about three inches away from his boner.

"Not right now, of course," he blushed and looked away.

"Eren," I said.

"Levi," he replied, a hint of a smile on his blushing face. I crawled up to him, making eye contact.

"I would love to fuck your ass. We need a lot of prep, though. You are a virgin." I stroked his face. "How about for the first time, you fuck me?" I had taken lots of dick as well as given it. I was sure I could get ready in no time.

"I want to do it, Levi." He looked so determined. I kissed my beautiful boyfriend.

We talked about it more after we had finished out nightly exploration of each other's body. I had to tell him about my scar before I fucked him. I needed to communicate with him, and open up to him before I could feel right about taking his virginity.

"Eren." I said as he was cuddled to my chest. He hummed back.

"We need to talk about something serious." He propped himself up and looked into my eyes.

"Levi?" He looked scared. My sweet little Eren, I'm so sorry you're with a broken man like me.

"I need to tell you about my scar. The one you always kiss." He had taken to frequently kissing my large scar. I honestly didn't know how I felt about it. Sometimes I felt so happy and loved when he did it, other times I felt like crying.

"The scar you said you would never talk about?" He asked.

"Yes."

"But you said you would never talk about it?"

"Eren, that's because it's a horrible story." I took a deep breath.

* * *

Warning: Rape flashback

* * *

_I was 13. I felt so cool, hanging out with Kenny's friends. They were all older and they gave me booze. They thought it was funny to get a 13 year old drunk. There one particular friend of Kenny's, Lewis, the youngest of the guys, that I really liked. I mean liked- liked. He was my first gay crush. _

_He was, and had the coolest tattoos I had ever seen. He had a mermaid with huge tits on his calf and an anchor on his forearm. He explained that he was in the navy. I thought he was the coolest. It was because of him that my scrawny little thirteen year old self realized that I was what the guys called a 'faggot'. Apparently it was bad thing, and they talked about beating them. I didn't see how loving another man made me a bad person, but I kept it locked up, nevertheless. _

_Lewis came to visit me in my basement more and more when the guys talked about his ex-girlfriend. _

"_I don't fucking like to hear it." He had explained. It was one day when the guys upstairs were placing bets on whether or not she would send nudes to one of the guys, that he hurt me. _

"_Hey! Lewis!" I smiled at him. He plopped down beside me on the couch. _

"_Guess what they're doing now, kid?" He asked. He told me about the bets. _

"_Wow, what a bunch of cocksuckers." I said. He laughed until he doubled over. _

"_Do you even know what a cocksucker is?" He asked. I had gotten offended and nodded up and down. I didn't really know, but I wasn't going to let him know that._

"_It's a faggot thing." He explained. _

"_I know what it is!" I insisted. _

"_Hey, never mind that, wanna see my new tats?" He asked, chugging the last of his beer. _

"_Fuck yeah! You have the best tats!" I was excited. He stood up, pulling off his shirt. Oh shit. _

_He pointed to the guns tattooed on his hips, barrels pointing down to the crotch. He started talking about them, pointing to different details. I couldn't hear him, all I could hear was a ringing in my ears. My eyes were fixed squarely on his crotch. After a few minutes he snapped his hands in front of my face. _

"_Huh?" I started, looking up to my hero. _

"_Why you staring at my dick, boy?" _

"_What?" My blood ran cold. I didn't want anyone to know. They would beat me! _

"_You a faggot, Levi?" He looked at me hard. _

"_I-I- I don't know!" I covered my face with my hands. _

_He pulled them away gently. _

"_You can tell me, Levi. You trust me, right?" He asked. I nodded. _

"_Then tell me if you think about other men the way you should be thinking about women." _

"_I-I sometimes think about a certain guy… I like him a lot!" _

"_Mmmhmm, that's what I thought. I always thought you looked a little twinky." _

"_What? Like the snack?" I was so confused. _

"_No, faggot. Not the snack. Now tell who this other faggot is that you think you like." _

_I blushed. _

"_Well…" I thought about what to say. He sat back down next to me. He put his hand on my thigh and the other arm behind my head. I blushed. He was so close and shirtless still. _

"_It's someone you know." I said simply. He hummed. He moved his hands up my thigh, getting closer to my crotch. I started shaking. _

"_One of the guys?" He asked. I nodded. _

_He looked deep into my eyes. "Who, Levi? Who is it you want to fuck?" _

"_You." I whispered hoarsely. I wanted to kiss him! He was my hero and this was a fairy tale. Only, it wasn't. His face turned angry. _

"_You think I'm a faggot, Levi!" He smacked me, jumping up. _

"_I'm sorry!" _

"_You know, Levi? You're gonna be real sorry once I tell Kenny and the guys. I wonder if they'll let your dick loving ass live." _

"_Lewis! No! Please! I take it back! I was just kidding!" _

"_I was the one tricking you, little boy. Listen, if you don't want Kenny and the others to know, then you'll do exactly what I say." _

_I had fought back. He had taken out a knife. That's where the scar came from. He visited me like that every time he came over until he was shipped back off to his base. It had been months of terror for me._

* * *

**_Flash back over_**

* * *

Eren was crying. I stroked his head.

"I'm so sorry that happened, Levi!"

"It's not your fault, Eren." I cooed to him. I wasn't crying, even though I wanted to. He snuggled as close as he could, putting kisses all over me.

"Eren, I had to tell you this. I didn't want to make you sad, but you had to know." I could feel his hot, wet tears on me. He nodded and kept kissing me all over.

"This is why I'll never bend you over something or take you from behind." He looked up at me. "I have to see your face, Eren. I have to know you're enjoying it at all times."

My throat felt tight.

"He made me scream that I liked it. Otherwise he got more violent. I-I have to see your face, to know for sure." I took a few deep breaths. "I also need you to promise me that you will always tell me if you are hurting."

"Anything you need, Levi."

"It's also why you can't bend me over anything, either. Basically, when fucking, we have to be able to make direct eye contact or I will panic."

"Of course. That's very doable." He said.

"I love your eyes, Eren. So very responsive. I feel like I can trust what I see in them." I leaned down to his neck. "I feel like I can trust that I won't accidentally hurt you."

We kissed gently until we were tired. I cuddled to Eren, and had one significant thought before falling asleep.

Here, I almost felt safe enough to cry.

* * *

So there you have it. The story of Levi's scar. Also the reason why he is uncomfortable around drunks, why he needs so much help coping, and why he likes eren's open emotions... I'm toying with the idea of having a winmin chapter, but I really want to focus on ereri... maybe when i rewrite the story, I will...

Also, I predict the story will be about 15-20 chapters long depending on whether Levi relapses or not.


	11. The Winmin Chapter!

This is the winmin chapter! Hooray!

Armin POV

I was nervous. It was now or never. I either got with Professor Smith now, or I never would. I chewed on my pen. I was supposed to be taking notes, but I was distracted by the professor's jawline. I looked down at my notebook. I had barely taken any notes. I only had paid attention to the first couple minutes of class. When Professor Smith made eye contact with me as he began his lecture, it was over. I hadn't really heard anything that he had said.

_I want him. He's smart. He's handsome. He's funny. I want him. _

He clicked over to the last slide in his lecture. I didn't read it; I was too busy focusing on him. As if he sensed my eyes, he looked directly at me. I wrapped my licks around my pen and sucked on it. His blue eyes went down to my lips and released the pen. He wanted to watch, okay. I'll put on a show. I stuck my tongue out and ran it over the end of my pen. I thought I saw him swallow before stuttering back into the biology lecture.

It wasn't too long before the lecture was over and the students around me started to pack up and head out. I stayed. I watched him bend over, shuffling through his things and getting ready to head out. I admired his firm ass and thought about whether he was a top or bottom. I was up for either, though I would really like to feel him plow me. This was his last lecture of the day… how utterly convenient for me. I slid my stuff into my backpack and left it on ground by my chair as I sauntered up to the good professor. I didn't zip my bag up; I knew that would come in handy later. I was on the prowl. I looked sweet and innocent but I knew how to hunt and how to play.

"Professor?" I put on my best good little boy voice. "I was wondering…" I bit my lip.

"Yes, Armin?" He was looking at my lips, good.

"I think I might need some…help, Professor." I batted my eyelashes at him. He leaned forward.

"That's not at all a problem, Armin. My office hours don't start for a little bit, but I'll make an exception and let you come in early." He smiled at me. I smiled back. I was in, and if I played my cards right, I would be having a good night tonight.

"Good!" I said. "Just let me grab my bag." I had purposefully left it as low as I could place it. I knew he was watching me since I announced what I was doing. I did squat down to grab it, but instead I bent at the waist, letting my ass be front and center. I had purposefully wore some tight jeans that day, and I swore I heard him inhale swiftly. I grabbed my unzipped bag by its side and pulled it up. My stuff spilled everywhere. Perfect.

"Oh no!" I cried out. I bent lower, chasing my pencils around.

"Oh. Let me help." Professor Smith said.

"No, no! I got it." I chased after my rolling around water bottle. Yes, yes, come over here.

He squatted down next to me. He grabbed my fallen notebooks. I had slipped a couple condoms in them before heading to class and I faked a surprised gasp when they slid out.

"Oh my god!" I flushed red and covered my cheeks with both my closed hands. "I'm so sorry, Professor Smith!"

"Just Erwin is fine." He said, holding out the notebooks and condoms to me.

I let our hands brush as I took them from him. "Erwin." I smiled at him. Everything he handed to me let me brush my hands over his. They were soft and warm and I wondered what they feel like spreading my thighs. We got all my stuff together and I zipped up my backpack and let him lead me from the room.

It was a quick walk down to his office. I watched his ass the whole time. He glanced back at me a couple times and I didn't even bother hiding that I was looking at his ass. I wanted him to know.

We got into his office and I made sure to look and see if he locked the door. He didn't. I guess I would have to step it up. I pulled my chair from in front of his desk and put it next to him. I spread the textbook out in my lap and pointed to a few things asking him questions. He answered patiently. I made sure to make lots of eye contact and bite and lick my lips when I noticed him looking at them.

"You know Armin, you are my brightest student." He leaned closer to me. I could grab him and kiss him right now. "But lately, your grades have been slipping. Is something going on?"

I looked down at the textbook and blushed.

"Armin?" He picked the textbook up and laid it on the desk in front of us. "Talk to me. You are too smart to have your grades slip for no reason."

"Well you see…I've been having some emotional issues…" I looked away.

"Armin. You can't let that hurt you." He said. He leaned forward some more.

"I broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago." I looked up into his face, "I caught him cheating on me."

"You're gay?" He asked.

"Yes?" I phrased it as a question, hoping he would comment further on it. He nodded.

"I am, too." He leaned forward, then back suddenly, as if remembering something. "So, your ex-boyfriend is causing you to have emotional issues?"

"It's more than that. The emotional issues come mainly from," I stopped, biting my lip. I fluttered my eyelashes and looked up at him.

"Can I trust you?" I whispered.

"Of course, Armin." He leaned forward to hear my whispering. Good. I lowered my voice so he would come closer.

"I think I'm healing. I have feeling for another guy. But I know we can't be together. This causes me distress. I can't focus during lectures because I can't stop thinking about him." I sighed.

"So, he's taken?"

"No."

"Then how do you know that you two can't be together? You're great, Armin."

"Because he's my professor." I leaned up to him, placing my hands on his knees and bringing our lips very close together.

"Armin," he said gruffly. He closed the distance, placing a light kiss on my lips. He pulled back. What the hell? I didn't plan all this out for him to kiss me like I was made of glass. I took charge, climbing into his lap and smashing our lips together.

_He tastes like peppermint… _I tangled our tongues together. He ran his hands up my sides and I pulled back. He gasped while I attacked his neck, licking and nipping at all the skin I could find.

"Armin. Stop." I pulled back. His eyes were dark and his eyelids low when he looked at me. "I need to lock the door." I nodded. I climbed off his lap. He walked swiftly over to the door. I took this an opportunity to take off my shoes. I kicked them into a corner. He shrugged out of his suit jacket and laid it on his desk. He sat back down and I climbed back onto him.

He went to attack my neck this time and I gave him a moan of appreciation. He tugged at my sweater. I took the hint and twisted it off of my body. He didn't play around, going straight for my nipples. He sucked and bit at them and I squirmed. I bit my lip to stifle my moans. The last thing we needed was for someone to come in.

He ran his hands over my bare chest and back and I cherished the skin to skin contact. I whined and pushed him away. He pulled back. It was funny to see his normally perfect hair disheveled. I started unbuttoning his shirt. He reached up to help and shrugged it off when we were done. He pulled at his bolo tie and I swatted his hand.

"No! Leave that on." I ran my tongue up his neck to his ear. "Only that…" I was practically purring. It triggered something in him because he stood up, scooping me up and putting me on the edge of his desk. He swept his arm across his desk, piling all his papers and books sloppily on one side.

I gathered what he was doing and placed his pencil holder and stapler on the floor before laying down on the desk. He reached down and undid my jeans, pulling them off my legs. I heard him growl when he looked back down. I wasn't wearing underwear; I had this all planned out, after all.

I arched my back and spread my legs, giving him a good view. "You gonna stand there all day, because I was under the impression you were plow my fucking fields."

He growled, his hands scrambling down to his belt. I reached out my foot and stopped him by rubbing it on his bulge. He moaned for me and I slid off the desk and kneeled down before him. He stroked my hair. I finished taking his belt off and slid his pants and briefs halfway down his legs. I licked up his penis and heard him moan. I kissed the tip before sliding it in my mouth. I hummed in pleasure- he was big and he wasn't even completely hard, yet. I sucked him all the way down my throat suddenly.

"Holy shit! Armin!" Erwin cried out. I felt his powerful thighs quiver underneath my hands. So he liked that, huh? I hollowed out my cheeks and started bobbing my head up and down. He made the sexiest noises for me and I hoped no one else could hear. I wanted it all for me.

I released him with a pop and reached over to my back. I found the lube I had put in there this morning easily and squirted some in my fingers. I turned back to a panting Erwin, putting my slick fingers in my hole while returning to blow him. I stretched myself like I had done a million times before while feeling Erwin's penis hit the back of my throat.

I stopped when I was ready for him to pound me. I pulled back from his dick and he whined. I fished in my back for the condoms and handed him one as I slid back onto the desk.

"I want you to finish in my ass, Erwin." I purred to him. I licked my lips and spread my legs. He stood in between my legs, sticking a couple fingers in my hole. His fingers were longer and larger than mine, and they stretched me a lot better. He looked over my sweating, panting body with hooded, dark eyes. I twisted and whimpered, reaching a hand down to jerk myself off.

"No." He said, he hand not in my ass tugging my wrist away from my dick and pinning it on the desk. He leaned over me to do this. I grabbed his hair and kissed him, crying out when he finally found my prostate.

"Fuck!" I screamed. Fiery pleasure curled my toes. He chuckled darkly. He kept massaging my prostate harder and harder until I was dizzy with pleasure. I squirmed and moaned, losing control of my body. Right as I was about to cum while screaming his name, he stopped. I cried out in frustration, but then quickly saw why. He had already put the condom on and was lining his cock up with my hole.

I whimpered and stroked his face. He met my eyes right as he snapped his hips forward. I screamed, and he quickly muffled it with his mouth.

"Quiet, Armin. This isn't my bed." He grunted. I nodded and pushed my hips closer to his. Just fuck me, I don't care where we are. He started out his strokes slow and long. I grabbed his shoulder with my free hand. He quickly pulled it down and pinned that wrist, too.

"Harder!" I demanded. I wanted him to pound me into next week. He hummed into my neck.

"Harder?" He asked, teasing me. I jerked my hips up, feeling him slide deep into me, to answer his question.

"I want to hear you say it, Armin," He slid his hands from my wrists to my hands, intertwining our fingers. Later, I would think it was sweet, but right now all I wanted was his huge dick in me hard and fast. I wanted to break this desk in half.

"Please!" I screamed. I arched my back and whined for his dick. "Please, Erwin, take me. Plow me. Pound me. Make me yours!"

He growled. He suddenly became very rough, pounding in me so hard he shook the desk. I thought my legs were wrapped around him, but I wasn't for sure, because my legs were going numb. My eyes were in the back of my head. I screamed and he covered my mouth with his. When I was out of breath and no longer screaming, he pulled back.

"Got! To! Be! Quiet! Armin!" he growled into my ear between thrusts. I bit my lip, but, fuck, there was only so much I could handle. I was in pleasure overload with his him pounding my prostate. I wasn't going to last long. I hoped he wasn't going to either. I couldn't take too much more of this ferocious pace. He groaned into my neck and I arched up. I couldn't – I couldn't – I-I-

"I'm gonna cum!" I cried out.

He let my hands go, grabbing the edge of the desk behind my head and picking the pace up even more. I clawed at his back and bit his shoulder to keep myself quiet. He was so rough and I loved every second of it. I dug my teeth hard into the flesh of his shoulder when my orgasm came. I shook as the pleasure consumed my body. My brain went blank and I just bit. I felt my cum string out on my stomach in bursts. My body was still shaking when I finished, falling back on the desk with a groan. He was still going.

It felt different now that I had came. It was pleasurable, but not in the hot, tingly way it had been before. It was a low, throbbing pleasure deep, deep in me. I was just deciding that I liked it when he tensed up above me. He cried out into my neck while he came. He pulled out, panting and shaking. He threw the condom into his trashcan and collapsed in the chair.

I tried to stand up, but my legs were numb and shaking. I started to fall down, but he caught me. He pulled me into his lap and we cuddled while calming down.

"Armin," he said while stroking my back. I hummed into his chest.

"I'd like to be in a relationship with you." He said. I pulled back and looked up into his eyes. They were gentle now, and his hands were so loving on me.

"But-"

"We'll find a way." He kissed the top of my head. We cuddled for as long as we could. He helped me dress and kissed him once more before I left. I couldn't stop smiling and I knew my cheeks had that 'just fucked' rosy glow. The world was great right now.

I had so much to tell Eren now.


	12. Alley

Omg I asked for help and one of my friends told me to kill levi. "Just kill him" they said. omg.

Anyway. Warning: violence and sexual assault and Mikasa being bad ass.

* * *

Eren POV

"I cannot believe you did that!" I gaped at Armin. He had just told me the wildest story about his seduction of his biology professor! His messy hair and flushed skin told me he wasn't joking.

"I fucked him!" Armin said with a sparkle in his eyes. "He pounded me real good, Eren, just like I knew he would. Seriously, my legs are still shaking."

"And now you're what? Boyfriends?" I asked. We were sitting on his bed cross legged and talking over tea like the school girls always did in the movies.

"Yes! He said we would find a way to make it work." Armin sipped his tea.

"I'm thinking about inviting him over for like dinner so you and Mikasa and Levi can all meet him and see what you think." He said.

I hummed. "Is that a good idea, Armin? He is a professor at our school, after all." I had heard of him, but since I wasn't in the upper level bio course, I had never had him. I really didn't know much about him besides Armin's graphics descriptions of his penis. I didn't know if I could make eye contact with good ole Professor Smith anymore.

He waved a hand at me. "It'll be fine, Eren."

He pulled his phone out of his pocket. He smiled as he read a text and then sent one himself with one hand.

"I'm inviting him right now." He said proudly.

"Whoa. Isn't that moving a little fast?" I asked. They had only just started dating. He stared blankly at me.

"Eren." He said slowly. "He plowed my fucking fields on his office desk not two hours ago."

"Uhh, will you stop using that phrase?"

"Plow my fields? It's my favorite phrase! It gets the point across." He laughed. I was glad he was joking around and seeming happy. It was a stark contrast to Armin crying while clinging to me like a lost puppy right after Jean had gone. I was suddenly very grateful to Erwin's dick. I would have to send him a thank you card for making Armin so happy.

I drained my tea and set it on his nightstand for me to get later. He set his aside, too.

"Ugh, there's something in my eye!" I rubbed at it.

"It's my dick," Armin smirked. He was so happy and playful after getting together with Erwin. He was practically giddy. I pulled an eyelash out of my eye.

"Man, your dick must be miniscule." I showed him the tiny eyelash. He gasped and smiled.

"You little fucker!" He shoved me. We play fought for a while until my phone rang.

I check the screen. Levi.

"Hang on, it's Levi!" I said. Armin made a snorting noise.

"Levi?"

"Eren…I'm…" I heard him swallow. His voice was shaking and slurring. Was he drunk? He hated drinking!

"Levi, what's wrong?" I asked. Armin heard the worry in my voice, and his smile fell.

"I'm- I'm not okay." He swallowed again and took in a shaky breath. Levi. My Levi. Oh god, what happened?

"Where are you?" I started pulling on my shoes. I needed to find him, and fast.

"I'm going to take care of it, Eren." He whispered.

"What are you talking about, Levi?" I grabbed my coat. I saw Armin putting his shoes on, too. He knew something was wrong and we had to help.

"Answer me Levi!" I cried when he was silent. "You're scaring me!" I unlocked the door. I needed him to tell me where he was.

"I'm going to take care of it, Eren. Then I'm going to stay with Hanje." I could hear how upset he was.

"Where. Are. You." I growled out the words. I was scared now, and it was coming through me in anger.

"I'll be home tomorrow. Maybe." He said.

"Maybe? What the fuck does that mean? Where are you? I'm coming to get you."

"I love you, Eren." The line went dead.

I screamed and threw my phone against the wall.

"Eren! Where's he at?" Armin asked.

"I don't know! He wouldn't tell me!" I recounted the strange conversation I just had with Levi to Armin.

"We will go to the bar, Eren. If he's not there then Mikasa will have seen him leave. They both worked tonight." Armin said calmly, heading out the door. I was grateful he was there. I was crying and panicking; I didn't have a clue what to do. I ran after him as we dashed to Mikasa, and, hopefully, Levi.

Levi POV

"You're a pretty little thing, aren't you?" The man grabbed at my ass. I swatted his hands away.

"I'm taken." I growled. I had been ordered to escort this trouble maker off the bar property. I had walked him to the alley at the boundary the bar property and he had started getting handsy. I turned on my heel and started to walk away.

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me back. I stumbled hard and fell into him. He turned me around and pushed me into the alley. I hit the wall face first. I was not expecting him to be this strong.

"I don't care if you're taken." He breathed to me. He reeked and his hands were dirty. I twisted and tried to get out of his grip, but he had wrapped his arms around my waist. I kicked at his feet, but his thick boots prevented me from doing much damage. I was having flashbacks from Lewis, and I was shaking too hard to fight very well. He let go of me with one hand and it disappeared behind him. When it came back, it was pressing a knife to my throat.

"Be a good boy," he whispered. I saw red. My ears rang and my mind turned blank. I snapped. I was not doing this again. I elbowed him hard, just enough to put him off balance. I kicked him hard in the stomach and jumped away. I was small, I knew the best way for me to fight was to jump around. He was big, and the best way for him to fight was to hold his ground and attack. I anticipated it and jumped out of the way. He crashed into the wall.

"Fucking BITCH!" He roared, turning to me with blood on his face.

"Levi!" I heard someone scream. I turned to see Mikasa running toward me.

"Mikasa! Go inside and call the cops to take him away!" I yelled.

"I don't think so!" He made a dash for Mikasa. I saw her form outlined at the mouth of the alley by the streetlamp. She didn't even move an inch. I chased after him. If I could just pull his jacket, I could get his attention back to me and Mikasa could get away!

_BAM! _

"_Mikasa!" _I had never screamed louder. I saw only his huge form at the alley. I didn't know exactly what that sound was, but I hoped it wasn't him hurting her.

I saw his form shake, then a second later, he spilled backward. I heard him crash onto the ground. I gaped up at Mikasa. She was still standing where she had been, the only change was that she was in a fighting stance and had blood on her knuckles.

_Holy shit _

She had knocked him the fuck out. She walked over to me, stepping on him, and wiped the blood off on her scarf before reaching out to take my hand.

"Let's get you inside." She said gently. That's when I noticed I was shaking. As we passed him, I looked down at him. He was passed out. We walked around him, and I felt a shiver run up my spine.

_Shhhhh… good boy…. _I heard Lewis whisper. I was shaking harder now. Mikasa lead me to the back, gave me some tea and told the manager what happened. She was in his office still explaining when I made the decision. I could deal with this on my own. I needed something to numb me. Something to take it away. I glanced at all the booze we had back here and I spiked my tea with a little. I felt the warmth curl in my belly. I could see him, hear him, feel him….

I soon abandoned the tea and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. I tipped it up and chugged while I walked out the back. I needed air. I didn't go to the alley, but walked to the diner where Mikasa and I had eaten once. It was close to the bar, so, of course, seeing people walking around with whole bottles of booze wasn't too uncommon. It was college town, after all. I slid down the corner of the building, leaning against the side wall just in the shadow of the building.

_This isn't smart. You're upset. You're drinking. You're in a place where you know you can score. You need to go back to Mikasa. Let her take you to Eren. _

I glanced down the street to the bar. I spotted Mikasa red scarf in the street lamp outside, walking up and down the building front, peering into the alleys. She was looking for me.

_She's so nice…. But I can't deal with her right now. She would want to know what was wrong. I couldn't tell her. I couldn't explain my flashbacks. I couldn't explain to someone so strong how I was made so weak. _

I tipped the bottle up and drank some more. I felt the warmth in my belly and the chill in my limbs. I needed- I needed-

I pulled out my phone.

_Eren. _

I flipped to the contacts. I started scrolling.

_B. C. D. _

I paused. I stared at the name of my old dealer. He was close by, a college kid with connections though his family. He would be around here very close…. I… I could just… Eren would never know.

I sent him a text. I leaned my head against the wall. What the fuck was I doing?

"I don't know." I slurred aloud. I still had the memories in the back of my head. I just need to use a little to get rid of the memories and then I could get back on track. I would spend the night in Hanje's place and return to Eren tomorrow night with no painful memories flashing before my eyes and a promise to never use again on my lips. Only I would keep that last one to myself. I wouldn't have to tell anyone I hd used once more.

"Only once," I slurred to myself.

I pulled out my phone and read the text from my dealer. One of his guys was at the bar right now, how… convenient. He was heading my way since I was so close. I just handed him my wallet and told him to take it all. He did and tossed a bag at my feet. He was gone in a half a second.

I laughed and hiccupped. A half a second of his time was so much of mine. Progress down the drain. I felt the bag in my hand.

Before I did this… I needed to tell Eren I wasn't going to be home tonight. I'm sure after Mikasa tells him about the incident, he will be worried.

I called him. He sounded so happy when he answered. I felt a pang in my chest. He didn't deserve my shit.

_I should overdose and die and let him be happy. He's happy right now while I'm in this alley. He doesn't need me. _

Eren POV

"What do you mean he was attacked?" I screamed. I pulled my hair and jumped up and down. I was standing in the back of the bar and Mikasa was making no sense.

"Just what I mean, Eren."

"Explain it again!" I was crying.

"I've explained it three times now, Eren." Mikasa looked pained as well. Armin was silent.

"Where is he?" I sniffled.

"She doesn't know, Eren!" Armin snapped at me.

"Who's Hanje?" I screamed. I cried harder and harder.

"You mean Hanje Zoe?" Mikasa asked, shocked.

"You know her?" I grabbed Mikasa's hands.

"I know of _them." _Mikasa corrected me.

"Levi mentioned a Hanje! Who are they?"

"Remember my old boss Mike? When I worked at the restaurant?" She asked.

"Oh yeah. He was a good guy, always taking care of creeps when they tried to get you fired after beating them up." Armin commented.

"That's him. He has a partner named Hanje Zoe. He had pictures of them all over his desk." She said.

"Could that be this Hanje?" I asked. It didn't sound like a common name.

Mikasa gasped.

"What?" I begged.

"I just remembered. There was small dark haired guy in a couple of the photos! That might be Levi! I remember asking if that was their kid because he was so short. Mike laughed for days after that." Mikasa stared at us.

"Next we got to Mike's restaurant, then! Mikasa, can you lead us? "Armin jumped up. She nodded and we headed out the back.

_Hang on Levi! _I thought. _I'm coming for you!_

* * *

I'm so sorry.


	13. Hanje's Helping Hand

So I feel the need to clarify something: I am not going to kill off Levi. I was just mentioning that my friend said ot do that because I thought it was funny. They're a tad dramatic anyway.

* * *

Levi POV

What the hell was I doing? I looked down the street again toward the bar. I just barely glimpsed a red scarf followed by a tall brunet and a bobbing blond head. Is that? I squinted hard, trying to make out their fleeting forms. I was too drunk to focus, though. God damn my weakness! I didn't want to see Eren anyway… I didn't want him to see me like this. I shuffled down the alley, gripping the wall. The bag was like a rock in my pocket. I didn't know what to do.

I knew what I wanted, and I knew what I needed… right now those are two very different things. I needed Eren, but I wanted to get high. I wanted to forget. I wanted to melt away into nothingness. No one could hurt me if I was nothing. I couldn't disappoint anyone if I was nothing. I couldn't fuck up if I was nothing. I sat down in the alley once again, further down so I couldn't see anyone. I took the bag out with shaking hands. I opened it.

_Hello, beautiful..._

I stuck a finger into the bag and stirred gently. The powder gave way to the pressure easily. I stuck my finger into my mouth. The taste exploded in my mouth and my mouth watered. The bitterness gave way to numbness and I whimpered. I… I missed this. It was a dangerous thing I was playing with.

I closed my eyes. I saw Lewis flash though my head. I heard myself screaming, felt the pain. I was just a little boy… a little boy in this fucked up miserable, shit covered world. I felt tears form in my eyes. Tears I would never allow to fall. I was not safe; I was never safe. I tipped the bag a little and lined up a bit of it up on other thumb. I bumped it back, feeling the drip for only a second. The numbness was welcome.

_Eren_… I thought. _I love you so much. _

I curled in on myself as my heart race began to rise. I focused on my physical numbness to try and force an emotional numbness. I put the rest of the bag into my pocket and pulled out my phone. The light stung my eyes. I felt like shit. I had 20 missed calls from Eren and 32 text messages from him. I squeezed my eyes tight and my hands shook. I didn't deserve him.

I took another bump and scrolled down to Hanje's number. I punched in just the address of the diner and sent it. I knew they would understand. I tucked the bag into my pants and waited.

Eren POV

"Where do you live?" I asked excitedly. I was leaned over the counter at the restaurant Mikasa used to work. Mike had just come out after we begged for someone to come and get him.

"Excuse me?" Mike narrowed his eyes at me.

"Eren, my brother, is Levi's boyfriend. We think Levi is in danger. He mentioned going to Hanje, and we thought you two would live together." Mikasa explained.

"We do." Mike raised his eye brows. "What danger is Levi in?"

"So you know him?" I begged.

"Yes. Yes, I do. We are good friends." Mike crossed his arms.

"Then help us!" I cried. People were staring at me. I didn't care.

"What if Levi doesn't want to see you? What if he's coming to my partner to get away from you?" He asked, his moustache twitching.

"I highly doubt that that is the situation." Armin said calmly. He placed his hand on my shaking shoulder and pushed me back.

I stepped back, allowing Armin to take the lead. I trusted Armin. He was smart; he would reason with Mike and I would have Levi back in my arms before long.

"Levi was attacked, and we believe he is emotionally unstable. He has been drinking and called Eren saying some vague and scary things. We simply fear for his safety." Armin was so charismatic. I envied his calm.

"Let me talk to Hanje. I'll call them and be right back." He disappeared in the back. I hugged Armin and cried loudly into his shoulder.

Mike showed up about 5 minutes later.

"We'll take care of Levi." He said.

"What?" I croaked. What was he saying?

"Levi texted Hanje an address about twenty minutes ago. They picked him up about ten minutes ago. They're on their way back to the house now."

"Hanje has Levi?"

"Hanje has Levi."

"Can I see him?" Relief flooded through me.

"Let Levi rest. He is safe." Mike said.

I wanted to scream. Armin tugged at my arm.

"Thank you. Tell him he's welcome to come home anytime and that we're worried about him. We look forward to his return." Armin said. He pulled at me harder.

"No. NO. I need to see him." I rasped.

Mikasa grabbed my other arm and they dragged me from the place. They dragged me all the way home.

"I don't understand!" I screamed. What was happening? My chest ached. Armin and Mikasa tossed me onto the couch.

"We just have to wait for Levi to come home," Armin said.

"There has to be something more we can do!" I cried out in pain. I was hurting.

"We know he's safe now. That's all we can do." Mikasa said.

"This is something Levi needs to work through." Armin said. I cried. I couldn't stop crying. I needed Levi to work through this pain, but this pain was caused by Levi. It was so backwards. Levi was my comfort, my always, and now he was pain and absence.

I stripped down to nothing and sleep in his bed that night. It was more crying than it was sleeping. I could hear Mikasa and Armin talking in hushed voices in the living room throughout the night. I checked my phone every five seconds. I called him and listened to his voicemail.

_Whatever you want, leave it at the tone or fuck off. _

_Whatever you want, leave it at the tone or fuck off. _

_Whatever you want, leave it at the tone or fuck off. _

I loved his voice. I loved it the most when he talked to me in a breathy moan right before he came. I clutched his pillow, inhaling his scent. I started to drift off a few times, but woke up when I thought I felt Levi crawl in the bed. I was expecting to feel his naked body press against me and for us to begin our nightly fool around, but then I would remember he was gone and I would start crying again.

Levi POV

"Give me that!" Hanje jerked the bottle away from me and threw it into the other wall of the alley. The glass exploded into glass shards upon impact and I wondered how hard they must have thrown it. I didn't want to find out.

"Are. You. Out. Of. Your. God. Damn. Mind." Hanje growled. They grabbed me up and pushed me against the wall. I held their wrists.

"Hanje" I slurred. "Leggo."

"No, Levi! I will not let go." They looked deep into my eyes. I looked away. "Levi!"

They pulled out their phone and flipped on the flashlight. They shone it on my face. I closed my eyes.

"Let me see your pupil, Levi." Their voice was low, dangerous.

I accepted my fate. They would find out sooner or later that I had fallen off of the wagon. No more delaying it. I looked it the light. It burned. My pupils didn't contract like they should have.

"Jesus, Levi. You used, didn't you?" I twisted my eyes shut, seeing the stars left over from the bright light. They grabbed my hair and pulled back my head to look up my nose. There was powder all over it.

"Come on." They pulled me out of the alley and I was struck with déjà vu. How many times has Hanje saved me before?

"I'm sorry" I whimpered.

"Shut up. We'll talk in a few minutes." They helped me into their car and drove me back to their house. The ride there was a tense one. They had gotten a call about halfway there. I hadn't listen to the conversation until I heard his name.

"Eren?" Hanje asked Mike. I turned to look at them.

"Levi, your boyfriend showed up at Mike's place with his friends looking for you. Mike wants to know if he should give them directions to our house." They paused. "Should he?"

"Nooo!" I cried. My head started to hurt. I wanted some more coke to ease it, but wasn't about to do it in front of them. "Can't let him see me like this."

"Okay." Hanje said.

"Mike? Levi says he can't let Eren see him like this." Hanje paused while Mike talked.

"Yeah. He's a wreck. Looks like shit. He's also drunk." They said. I groaned. Why was I so awful? I blocked out the rest of the conversation. They headed home without any stops along the way. They helped me in to their house and into the bed where I had spent most of my recovery.

"How much did you have?"

"Just a bit." I said, curling up on the bed. I needed to sleep.

"Do you have any more on you?" They asked. My heart thumped. What should I say?

"Yes." I said, curling tighter in on myself.

"Do you need me to take it away?" They sat on the bed and spoke gently to me.

"I don't know." I whispered. They stroked my hair.

"I'm on your side, Levi. I'm team Levi, 100%. I'll do whatever you need, Levi. But right now, I really think you need to give those drugs to me." They said. They were right. I stayed silent. I didn't want them to take it away from me.

"Let's do some coping exercises, huh?" They said. They pulled my shoes off and took my coat to make me more comfortable. They put on some soothing music and covered me up with a blanket they warmed up in the dryer for me. While they were gone to warm up the blanket, I took the coke and hid it in the nightstand. I changed into pajama pants and left my shirt off. They tucked me in and stroked my back. I told them everything that happened.

"So it was the flashbacks that triggered you?" They asked.

"Yeah." My voice was shaky.

"I'm sorry that happened, Levi." They paused. "You should sleep. Would you like that?"

"Yeah." I said.

They nodded and got up to leave.

"It's in the night stand." I said as they reached the door.

They walked back over, opened the drawer and took out the bag.

"Thank you, Levi."

I buried my face in my pillow and bit my tongue to stop from begging them to give it back to me.

They flicked off the light and closed the door. In the darkness, I saw my phone glow. I reached for it.

From: My Sunshine

_Where are you? _

From: My Sunshine

_Levi, please. _

From: My Sunshine

_I love you please Levi _

From: My Sunshine

_I'm so worried, please love _

I clicked out of my texts from Eren and went to my voice mail.

_Levi… please just come home… I love- _he choked up, and it killed my heart – _I love you so much. Please be safe. _

Click

_Levi, don't care if you're with Hanje or if you're with me, just be safe! Please! _

Click

_I love you. I –_

I closed it out. I rolled over and fought my tears the whole night. Could I ever return to Eren? Was I worth it?

I remember something Hanje had said to me when I was in the midst of my hell.

_You are worth fight for, Levi. You have a big heart and a sharp mind. Take care of yourself and the rest will fall into place. _

Was that true? I thought about it before I drifted off to sleep.

I dreamt of Eren that night.

* * *

So apparently it is unusual to update a story everyday? I got a message saying that my update frequency was "ungodly". Is that a compliment? Or an insult? Hopefully the person who sent the message is reading this and will at least reply because they are ignoring me now? Sorry if my updates are weird, but I write as a coping skill. I write about characters solving problems that I myself have - dysphoria and drug cravings and self esteem issues and all the other stuff in my stories - and I hope that by having them figure out their problems, I can work through my own irl version of that. The fantasy ones like the mermaid ereri au and the nymph ereri au are for fun and to lift my spirits. So like yeah thats why i update so often. I'm just doing the best I can by coping with ereri porn. Sue me.


	14. Home

This chapter is dedicated to the boyfriend rin, who gets horny when he hears smooth jazz. it is a quirk i enjoy very much. *puts on smooth jazz* *calls for boyfriend to come into the room* heheheheehhehehehehhe

* * *

Levi POV

It was 2 pm before I even stirred. The only reason I woke up then was because Hanje woke me up. They shook me until I sat up and blinked a few time.

"Good morning, sunshine, the Earth says hello." They smiled at me. I grunted at them and winced internally at the word sunshine. That was what I called Eren in my phone.

_Speaking of phone…_ I looked around for it. It wasn't on the nightstand where I thought it was. I almost panicked before I saw Hanje holding it out to me.

"Looking for this?" I took it from them. I checked the messages and missed calls. All from Eren.

"Fuck me," I said aloud.

"That's Eren's job, thank you." Hanje said, laughing. They suddenly turned serious.

"Levi, what do you want me to do with your drugs? I will give them back if you want me to, or I will flush them if you want me to. You need to decide, and I hope you'll choose right, Levi."

"I don't know." Now that I was awake, the pain was back. I just wanted the pain to stop, and I didn't know how to do that without the aid of drugs.

_Eren_

I turned my phone over and over in my hand.

"Call him, Levi. Talk to him, and then decide which way you want to go." They didn't say it, but we both knew the two ways were back to Kenny's or back home to Eren.

"Okay." My throat was scratchy, my mouth cottony, and my head was throbbing, though. "After some water and aspirin?" I looked up at them.

"Of course, Levi, be right back." Their eyes were soft, hopeful. I didn't deserve any of the amazing people in my life.

They walked out of the room and that's when I saw Mike leaning against the door. His moustache twitched.

"You look like shit." He said.

"God yes, Mike, that's exactly what I need for my low self-esteem. Talk about how I'm a disappointment next." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You're a disappointment." He smirked. He sat on the bed.

"For real though, Levi, I saw Eren last night. He looks worse." Mike said. His eyes, that were normally so playful, were dark.

"He looks worse?" I asked. My chest ached. Hanje stepped back in the room with my water and medicine. I gulped it down. Hanje and Mike held hands.

"That's saying a lot, Levi, since you look like hell." Mike said. "The kid was one step away from a panic attack in the middle of my restaurant."

"How?" I wondered aloud.

"You matter, Levi." Hanje stroked my face.

"Your actions affect the ones that love you, dumbass." Mike said.

"I'll call him." I held my phone with shaky hands.

"We'll get out." Mike stood up.

"What if he doesn't want to talk to me?" I cried to their backs.

"Levi." Mike said, not turning around. "Fucking call him." Mike pulled Hanje out of the room and I saw them kiss once before Mike closed the door.

I sighed. They were going to go fuck now. They went at it like rabbits. I would be glad to get out of here. Where was I going to go now? I could slip back into the darkness of Kenny's basement and waste away like I believed I deserved, or I could go back to Eren and hope he would still love me.

I called him. He picked up on the second ring.

"Levi!" His voice was groggy, but excited.

"Did I wake you up?" I asked. My throat was closing up.

"No! Yes! No! I don't care! Levi, are you okay?" He asked.

"I'm o-okay." I whispered. "Is there any way I can see you?"

"Of course! Come home! Or I'll come there! Levi, where are you?" I heard shuffling.

"I'm at Hanje and Mike's place. I can come home?"

"Of course! Mikasa, Armin, and I are worried sick! Please, Levi." His voice cracked.

"I'm still welcome there?"

"Why wouldn't you be? Because you got attacked and took some booze? No one cares! Levi, the boss felt so badly for sending you out where you attacked that he paid for the drink you took and gave you a week's vacation! Please, come home." Eren was begging me. I felt horrible.

"That's not why I wouldn't be allowed back home, Eren." I said slowly.

"Why then? What happened?" He asked. "Whatever it is, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that you're safe and happy and here with me." I could hear him crying.

"Levi, whatever it is, we can deal with it. We can –"

"Eren, I relapsed." I said before he could keep going. He was silent.

"You mean you used?"

"Yes." My voice caught in my throat.

"Levi, come home right now." His voice was lower now.

"Eren, are you sure?"

"I don't give a fuck if you're high right now, get in this house now!" He was growling. I was shocked.

"Eren-"

"I will keep you safe! Even I'm keeping you safe from yourself!" His growls fading into sobs.

"I'm on my way, Eren." I stood up and found my clothes. Hanje had washed them. I slipped off the pajama pants.

"You better be!" He cried. "Don't you ever give me any bullshit about not being allowed to come home again! Where I am is where you are, hear me?"

"Yes, Eren." My heart was thumping. I squeezed my phone in between my ear and shoulder while I rushed to put on my pants. I threw the door open and saw both Hanje and Mike stumbling into the room. They had been pressed up against the door.

"Fuck you guys!" I called out.

"Excuse me? Levi?" Eren sounded shocked.

"No, babe, not you. Hanje and Mike….I'm on my way home. I love you." I said, grabbing my shirt and moving toward the car.

"I love you, too." He whispered. We hung up as I climbed into Hanje's car.

"To Eren!" They cheered as they started it up. To Eren, indeed.

Eren POV

I set the phone down and walked into the living room where Mikasa and Armin were.

"He's coming home." I said, not meeting their eyes.

"Yea!" Armin hugged me. Mikasa was quiet.

"He's on his way." I continued. I shuffled my feet.

"Eren, what's wrong with him?" Mikasa saw through me.

"Mikasa, can we just be glad Levi is coming home?" Armin asked gently.

"No. Something isn't right with him. Am I right, Eren?" Mikasa stood up and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"He used." I said. They both gasped. Levi had told Armin about his drug problems himself and I had told Mikasa. She was my sister, after all.

"I'll kill him." She said in a low voice.

"You can't!" I cried. "I love him."

Armin held me.

"I want some time with him." Mikasa said.

"Don't hurt him," I started crying.

"He needs a bit of a smack, Eren." Armin said.

"No! No! He needs love right now." I wiped my nose with the back of my hand. "I'll take care of him. I'll give him love."

"He needs to know what he's done is wrong!" Mikasa growled. "Let me talk to him."

"Just talk." I croaked. I slipped my shoes back off, since he was coming to me.

"No promises." Mikasa held her scarf to her face.

"Mikasa." I said. I didn't have anything else to say.

I waited for Levi tensely.

Armin and Mikasa argued about how hard Mikasa should beat Levi and I tuned them out. It wouldn't matter. Levi would be home soon and I would shower him with love. I would remind him where his home was. I would bring Levi into his room and fuck him. I had been stretching myself since Armin told me how. I wanted him in me.

I stood by the window and waited until I saw him turn the top of the steps. I ran out the door and had him in my arms as soon as possible.

"Levi," I breathed.

"Eren," he croaked back.

I leaned back and pulled his head back by his hair. I kissed him hard, pushing my tongue into his mouth to taste him.

_My boyfriend. My boyfriend. Mine. Mine. Mine._

I let him go and pulled him inside.

"We need to talk, Levi." Mikasa stood at the other side.

"Not now!" I snapped at her.

"We need to know if he has any drugs on him right now." Mikasa said.

"We can't let that in the house, Levi." Armin agreed.

"I have nothing on me." Levi said, lowering his head.

"Let me check-" Mikasa started.

"He will be naked soon, Mikasa! Check his clothes then!" I dragged him to his room while Mikasa and Armin gasped.

I pulled him into the room and shut and locked the door.

"Eren-" He started. I silenced him by kissing him. I tugged my shirt off.

"Eren," he whispered as I stripped out of my pants and boxers. "I'm so sorry. I just – I just-"

"Levi, shut up and let me love you."

"I should shower first." He whispered.

"Do you need to?"

"I need to get the night off of me." He unlocked the door.

"I'll let Mikasa have my clothes when I get out. You stay here. I'll be as quick as possible." He left me then.

I huffed, and sat naked on the bed. My eyes shifted over to the nightstand. Shit. My lube and condoms were in my room. I slipped my pants on and ran to my room to grab them. I heard Mikasa going through Levi's clothes in the living room and heard Levi showering in the bathroom.

I grabbed what I was looking for in my room and ran back to Levi's room. I opened his night stand drawer.

"Oh my god." I said aloud.

His condoms were the first thing I saw. I picked them up and saw lube underneath it. Of course he would also be prepared. I smiled. He was thinking about fucking me.

I giggled while I stashed my own in there with his and pulled my pants off. The door was unlocked for him to come back in so I stayed under the covers in case Mikasa or Armin came in here.

He wasn't long.

"Eren." He said as came in, holding his towel with one hand and shutting the door with the other.

"Lock it." I said. I licked my lips at him and pulled the covers down low on my hips. I left my penis covered, though. If he wants to see, he can pull the blanket off himself.

He turned the lock.

"Turn the stereo on, too." I smirked. "It might get loud."

He walked over to his stereo. He turned it on and the first thing that played was some rap music.

"No, something sexy." I purred. He looked over at me and I pinched my nipples and tugged at them. He worked the stereo until some smooth jazz started playing.

"Now drop the towel and walk over here." I tried to make my voice as low and sexy as I could.

He started walking to me while pulling the towel into one hand and throwing it into the hamper.

He jerked the blanket down and revealed my half- hard penis. I chuckled.

"You gonna stand there staring or are you gonna let me welcome you home?"

"Eren," he said as he crawled on top of me. We kissed hard and I glanced down to his penis. It was still mostly soft, and I was going to have to do something about that.

"Levi," I said, "I love you."

"I love you, Eren." He pressed his forehead against mine.

"Don't you ever assume you aren't welcome home again." I whispered heavily to him. "Your place is with me and my place is with you."

Tears formed in his eyes. "I don't deserve you."

I stroked his face. "You are safe with me. You are loved. You are home."

I watched the tears spill over his eyes and felt a heavy tug at my chest. It was bittersweet. It was bitter that the man I loved was crying, but it was sweet that he finally felt safe enough to cry with me.

"Let it out, babe." I kissed his cheeks.

"I love you." He buried his face in my neck.

* * *

The next chapter is pure smut tbh


	15. Trust

based on my own experiences tbh, Also, without spoiling anything, it is very hard to make a lamp out of a dragon dildo

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Levi POV

I cried into Eren's neck while he stroked my back. I cried for my lost childhood, for my nightmares, for my flashbacks, for all the time wasted fucked up, for my time in withdrawal, for my weakness, for my friends, and for Eren, but, most importantly, I cried for myself. It felt good, just letting go like that. I finally felt human, and not like a hollow shell of a broken man. I had made peace with my past. I looked up at him through the burning in my eyes.

"I only did a little. Just to make the flashbacks stop." I whispered to him. He hushed me.

"We don't have to talk about it, babe. You are safe with me now, and that's all that matters." He kissed my cheeks. I pressed our naked bodies together harder and loved the warmth of him against my skin. I wanted to make love to him, to feel him accept me in the most intimate way possible. I slid up on my knees and settled between his legs. He allowed me to press his thighs apart and I pressed my hips forward so our cocks brushed. I kissed him deeply and reached down to rub our penises together like he liked. He gathered what I was doing and reached a hand down to help. I felt him begin to get hard and slid down to take him in my mouth.

I kissed his hip bones and his thighs before I sucked the tip into my mouth. He moaned and I swirled my tongue around the tip. I liked making him feel good. It was so incredibly satisfying to hear him moan, feel him tremble, see his eyes roll back, and taste his cum. He was so responsive, nothing held back. That, paired with how sensitive he was, made him a wonderland for me. Every spot was sensitive somehow, and every sensitive spot gave me a reaction when I stimulated it. I wondered what he would do the first time I fingered him and played with his prostate.

I chuckled around his cock thinking about what that would be like. He squirmed.

"Levi!" He groaned for me. I sucked him down the back of my throat, deep throating him easily as I had done many times before. He slid all the way back and I hummed around him.

"Fuck me, please!" He gasped. I paused for just a second before bobbing my head up and down. That scream was new. I was used to him screaming 'fuck' and 'please' but never full out 'fuck me, please'. Did he mean it? I decided to try something new. I used one of the hands that was holding his thighs open to slip down further. I massaged his balls for a minute while sucking him hard. He whined, thrusting into my mouth. I slipped my hand down further and rubbed my thumb on his hole.

He gasped. I pulled my thumb away. I guess it was too much.

"No…No… put your fingers in me." He whispered. I let his cock go out of my mouth with a pop.

"Eren… Are you sure you want that?" I asked him. He looked down at me and I admired his flushed cheeks and the sheen of sweat on his body.

"I've been doing it myself." He smiled sexily while biting his lip.

"You've been fingering yourself?" I asked, shocked. My cock was so hard thinking about Eren fingering himself.

He nodded. He leaned up and kissed me hard before leaning over and reaching into the night stand drawer. Did he find my stash? I hoped he didn't think he had to have sex with me and that's why he had been fingering himself. He handed me a tube of lube and I turned it over in my fingers.

"This isn't mine." I whispered.

"It's a gift from Armin to us. He gave me a bunch of stuff and gave me the gay sex talk." Eren laughed and I was suddenly very grateful to Armin. He was such a good friend to Eren. I squeeze some lube on my fingers and slicked them up. I rubbed around his hole and heard him whimper as I pushed one finger in.

"Relax," I breathed to him.

"I'm trying. It's just so different when someone else does it." He whispered, stroking my hair. I used my other hand to bring his cock back to my mouth and I sucked hard. The pleasure hit him and he relaxed for me. I slipped another finger in and started stretching him. He was tight, but I could tell he had been fingering himself. I stroked his hot, silky insides until I found his prostate. He twisted up and pushed his ass into my hand. I tasted his precum and worked his cock harder. I slipped a third finger in and stretched him as much as I could before he came. He was screaming and twisting into the sheets, so I knew he was close. I brushed up against his prostate once more, wiggling my fingers to tickle it, and he shot his cum down my throat. I gulped it all down, savoring the taste of pure Eren.

I pulled my fingers out when he had finished orgasming and settled my body on top of him. I wanted to thrust into him, but I wasn't so sure how far he wanted to go. I kissed him hard and shared the taste of his cum with him. He moaned into my mouth and I felt him wrap his hot thighs around my hips. He dug his shaking heels into my ass and I pushed forward, grinding on his wet cock.

He pulled back and looked into my eyes. "Fuck me." He purred to me.

"Eren, are you sure?" I asked. I wanted to bend him over and slam into him, but I wouldn't do that right now.

"Yes, Levi," He breathed, his cheeks red and his eye sparkling. I grabbed the condoms and rolled on to my cock while watching Eren. He was smiling and trembling slightly.

I rubbed the tip of my cock on his stretched hole and looked into his eyes. I pushed in and felt him resist for a moment. He relaxed and I slipped the tip in. He gasped and looked at me with wide eyes.

"It's in!" He whispered excitedly. I pushed in deeper and saw his face twist up in pain.

"I'm sorry." I whispered to him. I hated hurting him. I thought about pulling out but he relaxed around me and dug his heels into my ass.

"Don't be sorry, Levi, I kinda like the pain," Eren licked his lips and looked up at me.

"Fuck," I moaned out. He was so naughty and sexy and hot and tight and just perfect. I slid the rest of the way in and I felt him squeeze me. I whined and pulled back, thrusting in again.

"Holy fuck!" Eren said, his eyes going wider than I had ever seen them and his nails digging into my shoulders.

"Okay?" I asked him. I had to make sure he wasn't hurting like I had been.

"Yes, Levi! Fuck me!" He growled and sloppily thrust his hips up to move my cock in him. My eyes fluttered close and I started moving. I pulled put slowly and heard him moaned. I thrust in sharply and heard him whine. I loved the feeling of his insides gripping me and his thighs slapping against mine. He clawed at my shoulders and I knew there would be marks left there in the morning. I breathed heavy against him as I moved against his hot, sweaty skin.

I opened my eyes occasionally to check on Eren. I had to make sure he was enjoying this, really enjoying this. Judging from his red cheeks and moans and whines, he was. I glanced down and saw his abs and pelvis moving in time to thrust up against me. I saw his cock getting hard again and I knew he was enjoying it. I felt a bit triumphant and pulled his body up to a sharper angle. I sunk deeper into him and thrust harder and faster. I no longer pulled out in the slow, drawn out motion that made him moan, but thrust deep and fast into him. He suddenly screamed and I froze.

I thought I had hurt him. I hurt Eren! I looked nervously up at him and saw him shaking.

"Don't you dare stop!" He growled. I must have been on his prostate.

I pulled him back up to the same angle and thrust deep and fast into him. I gripped his thighs, holding him at that angle that rammed his prostate. He screamed and I looked nervously at his face. His eyes were rolled into the back of his head and I knew he liked it, but I had to check. I wanted to roll him over, take him from behind so I could feel him like that, but I knew I would panic once I couldn't see his eyes.

I set a rough pace and he trembled and took it. I grunted with every thrust and his nails dug into my back. Tingles and shocks of pleasure washed over me in time with my thrusts. I watched his bouncing cock and made sure it was hard and leaking precum on his stomach. I myself could feel my orgasm building. Sweat was dripping down my body with the work and my body was shaking. I was sure I would be sore from this angle in the morning but I couldn't care. I tipped my head back as a hot pleasure washed over me and I moaned long and low for him. I came hard into the condom and dropped his legs. I put my hands on the bed near his sides and shook, panting hard. He whined and grabbed his own cock. He jerked it a few times while looking into my eyes, and then he arched his back. His cum spurted across his stomach.

We panted together for a few minutes. I pulled the used condom off and threw it on the floor. I would get it later. I waited until I was stable enough to lean down and I lapped his cum up. Once again, I let the taste of Eren wash over my tongue.

"I can't go again, Levi." He shook lightly.

"Mmm, babe, I know. I just don't want this to go to waste." I licked his sweaty abs clean. He smiled and laughed gently and I loved the way the sound made my own lips smile.

I laid down on top of his body. I rested there for a few minutes before the dirtiness of it all got to me.

"We need to shower." I whispered to him, trying not to think about the dirty condom that was leaking on the carpet. I would have a hell of a time cleaning my own cum up.

"You just showered." He whispered back, stroking my hair.

"That was before we got dirty again." I looked up at him. "I need to clean, too. My cum in staining the carpet."

"Good." He smirked at me.

"Dirty brat," I kissed him gently. I started to pull away and he wrapped his arms around me. My skin stung from where he had clawed at in pleasure.

"We are both filthy. We are cover in spit and cum and sweat and-" I started.

"-Gooooooooood." He groaned to me. He pulled me close and wiggled his body against mine.

"Shower. Now."

"Are you gonna fuck me again?" He asked. He was looking at me with wide eyes.

"In the shower?" I asked. He had just said he couldn't go again.

"No. That's too soon. I need to, um, rest." He blushed. "I want to do that again really soon, though."

"I will fuck you again really soon." I kissed his forehead. This time he let me slide off of him and pull on some boxers to the shower yet again. I was throwing the condom away when I heard him try to get up by himself and quickly stopped him.

"No, Eren!" I stopped him before he jumped up. "You can't get up so suddenly after bottoming for the first time, silly."

I slid his boxers onto him and scooped him up.

"You don't have to carry me!" He huffed. I cocked an eyebrow at him and slowly set him down. He stood shakily for a second before trying to walk. I held my arms out, knowing what was going to happen. His legs buckled and he grabbed me. I sat him back on the bed and let him catch his breath.

"Wow." He said. "I can't walk." I nodded.

"Could you walk after the first time you bottomed?" He asked. I froze. I had told him I was raped. Why would he ask that? I looked at him and spoke slowly.

"Why would you ask that?" I paused and then my heart lurched. "Did I hurt you?"

I sat down beside him.

"No! You didn't hurt me. I was just wondering if when you lost your virginity if it felt the same." I swallowed hard and looked away.

"It was different. I was beaten and bloody and I didn't even try to walk because I knew if I got up or moved he would-" I started.

"Levi!" He screamed. "That's not what I meant!" He grabbed me and hugged me close.

"What is it you meant then?" I asked, tears coming up in my eyes.

"When you lost your virgin-"

"That was my virginity!"

"I-I don't think that counts Levi." He whispered while holding me.

"What do you mean?"

"Losing your virginity is when you have sex for the first time, right? That wasn't sex." He cuddled me very close and kissed my cheek.

"It wasn't," I whispered to him. My voice was thick.

"Tell me about the first time you had sex." He pulled my face to him and looked into my eyes.

"You want to hear about my ex-boyfriends?" I was a little shocked.

"I want to know everything about you." He crawled on my lap. I hesitated.

"You're safe here, Levi. You're loved." He stroked my face.

"His name was Farland and he was my best friend." I said. I looked away from him.

"Was?"

"Died of an overdose." I closed my eyes and buried my head in his neck. Why was he dragging my shit up? I would let him know everything if he wanted. I loved Eren, and I was safe with him.

"I watched him die. I was too fucked up to think of how to help. It- It was heroin for him. I was on pills. Later, I figured out I could have saved him. He went in too deep and died. I could have called for an ambulance and they could have saved him. They got like shit called Naloxone and could have helped him." I trailed off. I left out the part where I had spent months researching heroin overdoses in order to figure out if I could have saved him. Eren listened closely. His scent was comforting.

"Um, he was my first. He fucked me in his bed after I told him I was gay. It turns out he was chasing after my ass for a while. I told him I couldn't be bent over, but didn't tell him why. He told me to ride him, then, and I did." I pulled back and looked into Eren's kind green eyes. "I got tired after a while and he got on top, then the real pounding began. I couldn't really walk, no."

"Did you love him?" He asked.

"I did. He was my best friend. He had the same problems as me and he understood me a lot." I wondered why Eren was asking all of this. I looked into his eyes and saw nothing but acceptance.

"I'm sorry you lost him." He whispered to me. "It wasn't your fault, though, Levi."

"I could have saved him." I choked up.

"You said you were fucked up. You couldn't have even saved yourself."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" I looked at him. I actually didn't know if it did make me feel better or not.

"It should. You were helpless then, Levi, so it wasn't your fault. You're strong now, though." He kissed my forehead.

"Eren, I just used yesterday." I was confused. I never had ever thought of myself as strong.

"Where are you right now?"

"In your arms," I answered honestly. I snuggled deeper into his body.

"You chose me; you can back. I think that speaks volumes more of your character than your one little slip up." He said.

I felt all warm and fuzzy inside and I figured out why he was digging into my past. I felt better after I had gotten that off of me. That had been stewing in me for years. Stuff like Farland had been buried deep inside me and the feelings I had locked away and the tears I had locked away in connection to it finally came out all over Eren. I felt liberated and I told him more and more about Farland and our sex and his death. Eren accepted me thorough it all. I had moved on to the funny stories about Farland and Eren had laughed with me. I had never felt better.

We finally got to the shower about an hour later.

"Did he really get twenty of them?" Eren asked as we climbed into the shower.

"Yes!" I tilted my head back in laughter. I had been telling Eren about how Farland was prone to random bulk purchases when drunk. He had bought twenty dragon dildos once.

"What did you do with them?" He asked as he soaped up my hair.

"Would you believe I fit all of them up my ass at once?" I asked, my face straight.

"No way! No fucking way!" Eren's eyes were wide. I snorted.

"I only could take one at a time, silly. Not all twenty. That's not physically possible, Eren. We gave them as gifts, mostly. Farland said at the time, his drunk thought was that we could make lamps out of them."

Eren soaped up my body gently, not lingering anywhere that teased me. We both knew that he couldn't take anymore.

"Hey, Levi," He bit his lip.

"Yes, Eren," I asked him. I was so happy that I could talk about Farland without it hurting so much.

"Do you, um, not want to bend me over just because of the panic? Or do you not like the position in general?" He looked away from me.

"Eren," I said slowly, "I cannot bend you over because I will panic."

"What if you could see my eyes? My face? And I was still bent over?" He asked, looking at me excitedly.

"Eren, if you spin your head around like an owl, I will not be responsible for my actions."

"No!" He said. "I mean the mirror! Bend me over the dresser and fuck me? We can both see my face in the mirror."

I paused.

"That…might work." I said. "You want to try that?" I hadn't even considered the idea.

He blushed and looked away.

"What is it you're embarrassed about?"

"I want to watch you fucking me. I want to watch myself being fucked." He whispered.

"Damn it, why are you so sexy?" I asked without thinking about it.

"If…If the mirror thing doesn't work… maybe we can video tape it?" He looked like a puppy asking for a treat.

"We should try both." I said after a moment. I would try it. For him, I would try it. As long as I could see his face, I would be okay. I looked at his excited green eye as I washed him.

_As long as I can see those…_


	16. Do you love him enough?

so 2 things: I'm rewriting the story, ya know fixing spelling and sticking in dialogue i skipped over, so the previous chapters will be replaced with the updated version as time goes on. I added some more hanje into chap 2 and I'm happy with it. 2. yes i do have a tumblr its levisbombassdick. its like 99% snk reblogs 1% bitching about weather but you can still talk to me about anything esp this story idc

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Levi POV

I had wanted to go spend time with Eren after the shower, but the movement from down the hall told me that my other problem still had yet to be solved.

"I need to talk to Mikasa." I said, looking at Eren while he was towel drying his hair. "I got to get this the fuck over with."

"I should talk to her first, calm her down a bit-" He started.

"Eren she just heard me fuck you in the ass after I admitted to using after she helped me with the dick bag." I didn't know what else to say. He blinked at me.

"You're right about that."

"You and Armin go in his room or yours and let Mikasa and I talk things out." I didn't actually want him to leave me alone with her. She could beat me all she wanted, I didn't give a fuck about that, but I really didn't want to have to explain _everything. _Especially why I reacted so violently…

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"I need to do this if I'm ever going to be on good terms with Mikasa ever again." I said. We wrapped towels around our waists and dashed back to my room. I dressed in a pair of nice jeans and a white button up. Eren watched me curiously.

"Why are you dressing up for Mikasa?" He asked.

"I don't really know." I patted on a bit of my cologne. "It feels like the right thing to do, so I'm doing it." I brushed my hair down and walked out.

Mikasa and Armin where in the living room, talking in hushed voices. They stopped and looked at me as I walked in.

"Mikasa." I said.

"Levi." She said.

"Mikasa-" Eren started to say as he walked up behind me.

"Eren." Mikasa cut him off. "Levi is-"

"Mikasa!" Eren growled, starting forward towards her.

"Eren!" I grabbed him and held him back a bit.

"Armin." Armin said happily. We all looked at him.

"Armin, though." Armin continued. "Am I right? Or am I right?" He waggled his eyebrows.

"You're such a dorky walnut." Eren scowled at him. They made eye contact and then Eren lost it. He laughed whole clutching at me. Mikasa stood up.

"Eren, go with Armin into his room." Mikasa said.

"Mikasa, I'm not a little baby, I-" He started.

"Please, Eren. We already talked about this." I stroked his face so he would look down at me. I leaned up and kissed him gently, hoping Mikasa could see just how much I loved him. Armin interrupted us before we got too handsy.

"Let's go, Eren. You can tell me all about your first time. I mean we heard it, but we didn't get-" Armin said.

"Armin!" Eren blushed.

Mikasa narrowed her eyes. "Eren, did he hurt you?"

"No, Mikasa. He didn't." Eren said. He opened his mouth to say something more, but shut it quickly. "Let's go, Armin. Levi, Mikasa, let me know if you need anything from me."

"Do something loud." Mikasa said to Eren and Armin as they walked away. I saw Eren tense as he understood what she meant, but then Armin tugged him along. I approached Mikasa with caution.

"If you want to hit me, I understand." I braced myself. She eyed me up and down.

"Go ahead," I encouraged her. It was almost surreal to me, encouraging someone to beat me. I really did deserve whatever she did to me though. Eren was precious to her, as he was to me.

"You asked for it." She said simply. She planted herself in front of me and I braced myself again. This time she hit me. The shock of my body falling to the ground registered before the shock of the hit did. I fell on my right side, my arm aching in the way I awkwardly caught myself. The left side of my face hurt and I could taste the blood in my mouth. Something hard and pointy tickled my tongue and I tried to swallow it. This was a bad idea because it got stuck in my throat, and I kneeled over to cough it up. I spat the slimy, blood covered thing into my hands and was surprised to find it was a tooth.

"Do you need another one?" I heard Mikasa asked and I looked up to see her dark figure leaning over me.

"No," I gargled out.

"I think you do." Mikasa said and her foot connected with the left side of my rib cage. I stifled a cry. She pulled her foot back.

"I will fight back if you keep going." If we got into a brawl, it would not be pretty. She was a good fighter, and I was most likely a little better. I certainly had more experience. Without the hamper of flashbacks, I could probably take her. She paused.

"Should we go outside?" I asked. I would throw down if she wanted to throw down. I felt my old self start to get riled up and I pushed it back down.

"We'll see after we talk." She said. She pointed to the couch and I sat on it. Blood from my moth dripped onto my white shirt and I cursed internally. I would have to get rid of this shirt later.

"Do you love him?" Mikasa asked first.

"Yes." I made intense eye contact with her. She was still standing, looking at me with hard, black eyes.

"Do you really?" She asked.

"Mikasa if there is one thing on this ugly, shit stained earth, it's that I love Eren fucking Jeager. If there is nothing else that you believe, you must believe that."

"Bullshit. You don't love him. If you really loved him, you would leave. You would pack up and disappear into the night like a bad dream. You would let him find someone who doesn't run off to get fucked up with every little problem." She said. I bristled. She was saying this to get to lash at her. I didn't take the bait. I stayed calm.

"No. He loves me, too, and it would hurt him if I left." I answered.

"Are you so sure? He could find someone else to date. I'm sure there are lots of guys who would use him and run off like you and take him for granted just like you." She leaned forward, putting he arms on either side of the couch around my head.

"Wrong. You are wrong. Eren is the best thing to ever happen to me in my miserable little life. I thank whatever god damned me to this existence for Eren being in my life every single morning I wake up." I leaned forward to her, challenging her back.

"I used to hope that I wouldn't wake up in the morning when I fell asleep, but now I look forward to waking more than anything. This is because I know Eren's right there. He's real and he's there and he's my boyfriend. I love him and he loves me and all the other bullshit falls to the wayside –" I said aggressively.

"Yeah, and that other bullshit may get Eren hurt if he ever got caught up in it-"

"Is that what you think? That I'd ever let Eren near drugs? You think I want him to be like I was? You think I enjoyed being that miserable little dirty rat drug addict in Kenny's basement?" I put my hands on her shoulders and pushed her away from the couch.

"Then why did you run away? Why did you turn your back on Eren and use again?"

"Because I couldn't handle the flashbacks!" I choked out. " I thought it would help and it didn't! It just fucked things up more!"

She was quiet. I processed what I said then I scowled. I knew what was coming now.

"Flashbacks?" She asked, her eyes narrowing.

"Mikasa, what I'm about to tell you is a very hard thing for me to say and I'm going to need you to not look so aggressive while I do it." I sighed. I ran a hand through my hair. She shuffled over to the couch and sat crossed legged on it.

"Talk." She said. I sat down next to her.

She didn't move during the whole story of my childhood with Lewis. She didn't show any signs of emotion. She just stared. After I finished telling her my story, I looked away. We sat in silence for a few minutes. My stomach felt queasy and my hands began to shake.

"Do you love him?" She asked quietly.

"Yes. God, yes." I looked back at her and my heart lurched. "I love him so much more than I ever thought I could love anyone."

"What do you love about him?"

"God, Mikasa. Everything. I love the way he wears his heart on his sleeve and how he's not afraid to cry. I love how fiery he is and how he's so stubborn sometimes. I love how smart he is, and how passionate he gets about things. I love that he's trustworthy and he finds me trustworthy. I love how affectionate he is, and the way his eyes show me everything he's feeling. I love the way his hair feels and the way his skin smells and the way he moans oh so gently when I slick my tongue over his-"

"Stop." She said, shaking her head. I zoned out thinking about Eren and was babbling about some of the more intimate details of our relationship

"I was gonna say ear."

"I don't need to hear anymore. I know you love him now." She smiled gently at me. I got curious.

"What finally convinced you? The ear thing?"

"No." She smiled a bit wider. "When you were talking about him, your hands stopped shaking and you smiled a bit."

I looked down, and she was right. They were no longer shaking and my childhood trauma was now far into the back of my brain. My stomach no longer felt queasy, but instead had butterflies in it.

"Fuck. What can I say? I love him a lot."

"Enough to marry him?" She asked. My heart skipped a beat.

"What?"

"Do you love him enough to marry him?" She asked again.

"I-I- What?" I looked into her eyes, shocked.

"Let me rephrase: do you want him as your husband?" She asked. The rephrasing took some of the pressure off, but it was still a little hard to breath.

"Yes." I said slowly. "I do."

"Good, you already know your lines then." She smirked at her own joke and I trembled.

"I'm work in a bar that I need to quit and he's still in school and the drugs are probably still in my system and I- Just fuck me up, Mikasa, I can't."

She raised an eyebrow.

"Not right now." I added quickly.

"Eren doesn't care about where you work or if he's in school or not. Eren cares about you. We both know that, come on."

"You sure made it sound like you didn't know that earlier." I grumbled.

"I wanted to see if you would fight for him." She smiled, "And you did."

Eren POV

"What do you think they're doing?" I asked Armin. We were sprawled out on his bed, playing violent video games and talking about my first fuck.

"For the third time – fuck, bro, I almost died – I have no clue." He said. "Tell me about the fucking again."

"No. I've already describe the fucking twice now."

"Yeah but you keep glossing over the sloppy details. Not cool, man." He was biting his tongue in concentration, his eyebrows furrowed. He was losing.

"You getting all horn horn over this?" I asked him. He looked at me and scrunched his mouth up.

"I'm just a little gay boy who loves talking about gay sex." He said simply.

"Well, I'm just a medium sized gay boy who is new to gay sex and therefore uncomfortable talking about it."

"Graphically describe Levi's cock and balls and I will tell you about the first time I was fisted." He said.

"ARMIN ARLERT!" I dropped the controller and stared at him, open mouthed.

"Just the cock then? Work with me here."

"Armin!"

"Just the tip?" He waggled his eyebrows at me.

"How can someone with a damn bowl cut and white boy tattoos be so, so, so… just _dirty." _I shivered.

"Don't knock the tats, man."

"Gonna get an infinity symbol on your wrist next?" I teased as I started playing again.

"I was thinking about getting one on my ankle." He said.

"Really?"

"Yes. Anyway, do you wanna hear about it or nah?"

"The fisting? No, I don't."

"Sure."

Everything was silent for a minute.

"Who was it?" I asked. I couldn't help it. I was so curious.

"You remember Marlo?"

"Fuck, really? The only other kid with a bowl cut?"

"Yeah. His fists were kind small so I thought he'd be a good choice."

"I don't need details."

"His hands were so soft, too. Like, seriously, fist me then cuddle me, y'know?"

"Armin!" I whined.

"Fine."

We paid attention to the game until we both died in an explosion.

"What are they doing? It's been thirty minutes!"

"Well, obviously they've abandoned us. Levi's gone straight and they've run off together. Obviously."

"Fuck you, Armin!"

"No thank you, I have Erwin for that." His eyes lit up. "Oh! Do you want a description of his cock and balls?"

"Bye!" I climbed off the bed and went into the hall. Armin had done a good job of distracting me with his fisting talk, but I wanted to know what was happening in there.

I walked in to see Levi's face turning purple on one side.

"Mikasa! You beat him!" I rushed over to his side.

"I'm fine, sunshine." He whispered to me. His voice sounded off, though, there was too much emotion in it.

"Levi." I said slowly, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, Eren. I got a lot to think about, okay? Mikasa and I had a great talk." He said. I looked over at Mikasa. She nodded.

"We worked things out." She said. I whined. My feeling were all jumbled up.

"Everything is looking up, Eren. I promise." Levi stroked my face with his thumb. I hoped he was right.

* * *

Armin though... am I right? Or am I right? god i love him i could eat him


	17. Dinner and Decisions

A little bit of a filler before the um event

* * *

Levi POV

Thanks to Mikasa, I thought about marrying Eren all the time now. I thought about the ceremony, small, of course, with only a few friends and family. I thought about the flowers and the music. I thought about the way he would smile when I said "I do" and the way he would blush when he said it himself. Sometimes I thought about the wedding kiss while I kissed him goodnight. I wondered about it all the time now.

"Levi, babe, is something wrong?" Eren asked me, hugging me from behind on the bed.

"No, love, why?" I asked him, turning my head for a kiss. We were spending a lazy afternoon in bed. He had been laying down on his phone, occasionally showing me things he found while blogging, and listening to smooth jazz. I was sitting up at the edge of the bed thinking about marrying him.

"You seem really distracted lately." He paused. "You know if you feel like using, you can come to me."

"I know that, Eren. It's not that. I assure you." I kissed him again.

"Can you tell me what it is?" He asked, looking at me with those big puppy dog eyes. I almost caved.

"It's just something Mikasa said." I said.

"Did she say something mean?" He asked, rubbing my shoulders.

"No. Just something…intense." I answered honestly. Marrying him was intense, and the more I thought about it, the more I wanted it.

"If it happens, I want it to be a surprise, so…" I turned around to face him, "I'm not going to share just yet."

"Okay. I trust you." He leaned into my shoulder.

"You're so good to me." I whispered.

"You're so good to _me_." He whispered back, smiling against me.

I pushed him down gently, I kissed on his neck and chest. He giggled underneath me.

"What?" I mumbled against his neck.

"You're so affectionate lately." He stroked my hair, running his nails lightly over my scalp. I moved down his chest and sucked one of his nipples into my mouth. His giggles faded into little whimpers as I bit at it and I felt triumphant.

"Guys! Stop fucking and come eat!" I heard Armin call and pulled away from him. He pouted.

"Come on, babe, let's get you fed and then we can continue." I promised him. We went into the kitchen and sat at the table. It was just Armin, Eren, and me. Mikasa had gone home to Annie, but she still visited frequently. Once time she slipped me a copy of a wedding magazine with a wink while Eren had his back turned. I quickly hid it underneath my boxers and hoped Eren didn't find it before I figured out what to do.

"So my boyfriend is coming over for dinner tonight." Armin said as we all sat around the table.

"Is that why you've been cooking for an hour and a half?" I asked. Armin had been banging around in the kitchen for so long. He had only shouted that he was making special spaghetti and for us to fuck off when we asked about it.

"Yes." Armin blushed. "And no eating til he gets here! He's on his way! Eren, go put on pants!"

I looked down at Eren to see him in an oversized shirt and boxers.

"This is my spaghetti eating outfit, Armin." He said like that explained everything.

"Erwin will be here in ten minutes and you will have pants on!" Armin pointed in the direction of the hallway.

"I'll get noodles on them!"

"Then Levi will burn them! Just put them on!" Armin huffed. Eren rolled his eyes and mumbled something about Erwin not being able to handle a little spaghetti outfit leg.

"I can get the stains out without burning the pants, Armin." I said. "What's really got you bothered?"

"I just really, really like Erwin. I-I don't want to mess things up." He bit his lip.

"You think that if you mess up what happened with Jean will happen with Erwin?" I asked him while Eren put on pants.

"Kind of, yeah." He looked away.

"Armin." I said gently.

"Levi." He said.

"It's not your fault. There's nothing you did wrong or nothing wrong with you." I said as Eren came back in pants and a normal sized shirt.

"Happy?" Eren huffed.

"Yeah. Thanks, Eren." Armin said softly. Eren picked up on his change in mood instantly.

"What happened?" He asked.

"It's stupid." Armin said as he sat across from Eren.

"He's worried that if he fucks up Erwin will cheat on him like Jean did." I answered.

"That is stupid." Eren said.

"Eren." I warned.

"It is! Horseface was a dog. Well, he was a horse, but also a dog! You did nothing wrong. You are a smart, strong honey bun, Armin, and you know it!" Eren said encouragingly.

"Yeah." Armin said, weakly pumping a fist into the air. We could tell that he didn't really believe it, though.

"Let's talk about something else." Armin said quickly. "How are you two? Been enjoying my gifts, huh?"

He wagged his eyebrows at Eren.

"Yeah. Thanks for giving Eren a little sex ed." I said.

"No problem." He leaned back in his chair and put his arms behind his head. "I remember my first dick like it was yesterday."

"Armin Arlert, don't you dare." Eren warned. Armin looked wistfully into the distance.

"It was the spring of '33-"

"You weren't even alive then." Eren interrupted.

"Pa had gone out to town with the rest of my brothers-"

"You're an only child." Eren interrupted again.

"He left me with Ma because someone had to stay with her and my sisters. I volunteered to do the job because of our newest farm hand. His name with Big Mike-"

"You lost it in the back of a car to Reiner. You called me right after he came in you to tell me the good news."

"He was mighty big and good at plowing, if you know what I mean." Armin continued.

"Reiner was still panting in the background. Neither you nor Reiner even had pants on and you call me to tell me you had his dick in your ass."

"I helped him with the horses-"

"You're afraid of anything bigger than a cat."

"He was a very dominant man. He bent me over in the hay loft and, well, plowed my fields."

"For fuck's sake, Armin." Eren sighed. "All you do is talk about gay sex. That and white boy tattoos."

"Oh hey! I think I am gonna get an infinity symbol on my ankle." Armin said, snapping out of his story telling and leaning forward in his chair.

He leaned onto the table and was about to talk when the doorbell rang.

"Erwin!" He called as he got up. He ran to the door. Eren turned to look at me.

"If I take my pants off now-" He started.

"Babe, no." I said.

"Fine." He got up and we walked to the door to greet Erwin. He was bent over, kissing Armin. I recognized him as the icy gay man from when I first got over my withdrawals. I noticed, however, that when he looked at Armin, his eyes weren't so icy.

"How is he supposed to fit in him?" Eren whispered to me. I shrugged. Armin and Erwin had a major size difference, more than me and Eren did.

"Ask Armin, I'm sure he will give you all the details."

"Oh, he has already tried to." Eren said. Erwin finally let Armin go and turned toward us.

"I'm Erwin Smith." He shook my hand first, as I was the older of us two and then Eren's hand. His entire hand engulfed mine and I was a little shocked.

"I'm Levi, Eren's boyfriend." I said. He had to be eight feet tall. I kind of wanted to ask Armin how he fit in him now. Armin seemed so tiny.

"I'm Eren, Levi's boyfriend, obviously." Eren said beside me.

"I hope you like my special sauce," Armin purred to Erwin, tugging him away from us and toward the kitchen. "And I hope you like the spaghetti sauce, too."

Erwin gave a deep, rumbling laugh as he disappeared into the kitchen. I looked at Eren in shock.

"Does he always make constant sex jokes?"

"It gets worse around his boyfriends. Ugh, when Jean moved in here, it was like hell for a little while because sex and sex jokes were all I heard. 24/7, ya know?" Eren answered.

"I do know. Hanje and Mike are bunnies." I sighed. We walked into the kitchen to see Armin serving us all spaghetti. Erwin was looking at him lovingly. I took it upon myself to get everyone's drinks. I almost expected Armin to say "Erwin's cum" when I asked him what he wanted to drink, but, thankfully, he didn't.

"Can I take my pants off?" Eren asked as we all started eating.

"For the last time, Eren, no!" Armin said. Erwin looked at him sideways.

"He eats spaghetti with no pants on." I explained.

"The noodles get on my pants!" Eren defended himself.

"Then maybe eat with some human manners, Eren." Armin said.

"I'll keep my pants on." Eren grumbled. "The second time he comes over for spaghetti and Armin booty, though, I'm wearing the spaghetti outfit."

Erwin laughed, a deep rumble that shook the table a bit. Armin melted in his chair and laughed, too. The sounds complemented each other, as though they were on the same channel, just different pitches.

We chatted about work and school through the whole dinner, with only a few really obvious sex jokes from Armin. We were clearing away dishes when Armin started tugging Erwin toward the bedroom.

"Time for dessert. It's Armin pie with Erwin on top~." He sang to Erwin. Eren and I looked at each other. Erwin scooped Armin up in his arms. Armin looked over Erwin's massive shoulders to give us a word of advice.

"You may want to do something loud." He smirked. He turned back to Erwin and we saw him flutter his eyelashes at the older man.

"I've been a bad boy, professor." He purred into Erwin's ear.

"Oh, hell to the no. Levi, we have to run. We have to get out. Let's go to Canada, they have free health care or some shit."

"Eren, relax, I'm sure they won't be that loud-"

"You never heard Armin fuck Jean! They were so loud I just- I just-". He broke off in a growl.

"Let's go get hot chocolate?" I offered. It was the perfect winter treat.

"Yes!" He exclaimed. We both paused and looked at each other wide eyed when we heard what sounded to be duct tape being ripped off a roll.

"Oh god, not the tape. Next comes the whip noises. Levi, we need to run." Eren was slipping on his shoes, knocking the dropped spaghetti off his pants. I winced as it fell to the floor. He really did spill spaghetti all over his pants.

"What the hell is Armin into?" I asked curiously.

"Everything, Levi. He's into everything."

"Let's go, then." I said. "Let me just grab my coat." I headed down to our room, ignoring the muffled noses coming from Armin's room.

I grabbed my phone and Eren's while I was there, knowing he would want it.

While we walked down to the little bakery where they sold all sorts of warm beverages, I checked my messages.

From: Mikasa Ackerman

_Have you reached a decision? If you want a spring wedding we need to start planning now._

To: Mikasa Ackerman

_I have made up my mind._

I texted her quickly and looked at Eren to make sure he didn't notice. He was bundled up, his little boop nose and cheeks red in the cold and his breath mixing with mine in a little fog.

From: Mikasa Ackerman

_And? _

To: Mikasa Ackerman

_Can I call you sister in law?_

* * *

sorry not sorry


	18. Rings

*blows kisses to boyfriend rin who might be caught up with my fanfiction by this point*

* * *

Levi POV

I knocked nervously at his door. I had made up my mind; I was going to marry Eren. I just needed to figure out how.

"Come in, Eren," Armin called through the door.

I opened it and quickly stepped in. I stood leaning against the door and waited for Armin to put his book away and look up. I had yet to be in his room before, so I took a moment to look around. It was clean enough, (the only things that were messy were the papers and books all over the room). He had a little white desk next to his bed, and his laptop and a lamp sat on top of it. His little hamper was only half full and there were no clothes strewn on the floor around it from missed throws. His room smells lightly of linen and lilac, curtesy of a little air freshener on top of the desk. Beside his bed was a nightstand identical to Eren's and mine, and beside that was a chest. It was a little bigger than the nightstand and I could guess what was in it, considering its proximity to the bed and the noises that come from here when Erwin is over.

I let my eye wonder over Armin's slim figure, wondering how the hell he fucked Erwin when Erwin was ten times bigger than him. I was shorter than him, yes, but I had no doubt that I myself could handle a man of any size; I had muscle mass to make up for height. I looked at his tiny little arms holding up his book and noticed some muscle definition… perhaps he was hiding some muscle under those baggy clothes he wore. I thought about asking him about his sex life, knowing he would give me any information I wanted to know, and even some I didn't want to know, but decided against it.

He was on his bed, nose buried in a biology book with a flower on the front. I watched his blue eyes dart around the page before turning it. He slipped a bookmark into the book and gave me his attention.

"Oh! You're not Eren." He said as he looked up. He smiled at me, flashing his bright teeth.

"No, I'm not," I said simply. He laughed and sat up straight, putting the book off to the side. He patted the spot next to him and I sat down.

"What can I do for you, Levi?"

"I need advice." I looked into his eyes. They were so kind.

"About Eren?"

"Yeah."

"You guys aren't having relationship problems, are you? You guys look so in love –" He bit his lip and looked away.

"I want to marry Eren." I interrupted him quickly. His eyes went wide and he stared at me with his mouth open.

"Why?" He whispered. I lifted my eyebrows at him.

"When two people love each other very much-" I started, rolling my eyes.

"No!" Armin said, waving his hands around in front of himself. "What I mean is: why now?"

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. "I love him. He loves me. He's still in school, yeah, but I don't think he'll care about that. I have a little money saved up for a ring and that shit. I plan to have a reasonably long engagement with him. I'll wait until he's out of school to marry him. I need help, um, proposing."

Armin smiled. "Okay, slip a string through the ring and tie the string around a dildo-"

"Armin-"

"-and then give it to him. Oh! Better idea, slip the ring on some anal beads-"

"Armin-"

"And right as your about to slip them inside his little gay ass-"

"Armin-"

"-be like 'Oh no, there's a thing on these anal beads! Eren, look at that.'"

"Armin-"

"These are solid ideas, Levi." He smiled at me.

"I need serious ideas."

"What do you have so far?" He asked.

"I have that I want to marry him." I said honestly. Armin smiled wider.

"That's all you truly need. The rest are details." He grabbed my hands and held them close. "I tell you what! I'll ask him what he wants-"

"Armin, I don't want him to know I'm going to purpose before I do it!" I hissed. He squeezed my hands.

"I meant that I'll bring up weddings in general to him and see what he says. Trust me, my friend, I know how to sneak information out of Eren."

I nodded and he let go of my hands as we heard Eren's footsteps come toward the room. He must be out of the shower. I heard him go past the room and into mine. I slipped off of the bed and opened the door, looking down the hallway at a confused Eren. His eyebrows knitted together as he look at me coming out of Armin's room. He walked over to me and looked over my short head and peered at Armin on the bed.

"Whatcha doin'?" He asked, his wide green eyes looking between us.

"Talking." Armin piped up. "I was asking for advice from an older man because Erwin and I are getting kind of serious."

I was grateful for Armin's fast thinking.

"Are you? That's great, Armin!" Eren smiled and went over to hug his friend. They talked about Erwin and Armin some more and I excused myself to go to my room. I powered up my laptop and sat cross legged on my bed. I typed in _engagement rings_ to the google search bar and clicked the first result. I had about two thousand.

_Would he want a standard engagement ring? Would he want a jewel in it? _

I clicked though page after page of the same standard rings with little variation. Why did people go crazy over this crap again?

I picked out a standard metal band for myself. It was just a simple gold ring. I picked gold because I knew I wanted to get him a gold ring; it would look much better than silver with his skin. It was only two hundred out of my budget, and I planned on using it for the wedding, too. That gave me still almost two thousand to buy Eren's engagement and wedding ring. I pursed my lips. What would he even want?

I looked through what must have been a thousand diamonds before something caught my eye. It wasn't a diamond but an advertisement for a completely different category of rings: emerald rings. I clicked through them, feeling butterflies in my stomach. They looked like Eren's eyes.

It took about an hour to decided, switching tabs to a boring news story whenever Eren came in. Eren came in a couple times while I was deciding this, snuggling up to me and kissing me. I could tell he wanted to have sex, but I was nervous and preoccupied with our wedding. He asked me a few times if I was okay, what was I doing, would I pound him against the wall…the usual.

His engagement ring was a gold band with diamond and emeralds laid into it. It was beautiful and three hundred dollars I gladly took out of my budget. I found a ring with a twisted gold band and a heart shaped emerald. This would be his wedding ring. It made me happy – and a little horny- to think about slipping it onto Eren's tan finger. I wanted to make him my husband. I smiled as I saved the ring. It was a thousand dollars and I hoped he would like it. My smile faltered when I got to ring size. Eren didn't wear jewelry much, so I didn't know his ring size. I would have to get the information from Armin somehow.

Eren came in again and paused by the door. I flipped windows to the news and pretend to read it.

"So dinner will be ready soon." He said. I hummed in response.

"You okay?" He asked, climbing on the bed and kissing my neck. He looked at my computer screen again and frowned.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Levi, you've been staring at the same story for three hours."

"It's really good." I turned to look at him. He knew it was a lie and he swatted my arm.

"Bad boy, tell Eren the truth." He sounded a little hurt.

I turned and pinned him to the bed. I had been distracted lately with the proposal details, so we hadn't been fucking as much. I knew he was frustrated. I looked deep into his eyes.

"Tonight, after Armin's asleep, you're all mine." I made my voice as low and husky as possible. I must have done a good enough job of it because he shivered and leaned up to kiss me. I kiss him back hard, feeling his warm little body squirming underneath me.

We didn't get very far, much to Eren's disappointment, because Armin came to remind Eren that he was cooking.

"My pasta!" Eren jumped up. Armin lingered at the door while Eren left. I motioned for him to come over and he eyed me on the bed.

"Umm… Levi, I'm flattered, but-"

"I don't want you to take Eren's place, shit head. I want to show you this." I readjusted so I was sitting up and brought my computer back up. Armin sat on the edge of the bed and looked at the rings with me.

"He's a 9." Armin smiled at me, "And I think emeralds are a great idea." He turned toward me.

"While you were looking at rings, I told Eren that Erwin had been dropping wedding hints on me and got him talking about weddings."

"And?"

"He says he's never wanted a diamond ring; he says he found them so plain. He said he thought about an opal or ruby ring, but I think he'll actually like this better."

"What else did he say?" We were whispering with the door open, so we could hear when Eren would come back in here to get us for dinner.

"He said he wants a beach wedding." Armin said. I pursed my lips.

"A beach wedding?"

"Yeah."

"I look so bad on the beach…I'm so pale." I whispered.

"Eren wouldn't care." Armin smiled.

"You're right, he wouldn't care." I thought about Eren standing in the sun on the beach. Just the image alone made me tingle.

"You really love Eren, don't you?" Armin asked.

Eren POV

I stayed as quiet as possible, pressed up against the hallway wall as I scooted closer and closer to the open door. I could hear bits and pieces of things.

"…a 9…emeralds are great…" That was Armin. What the hell were they talking about? I sneaked closer, holding my breath.

"…Erwin had been dropping wedding hints on me and got him talking about weddings." I could hear Armin now. I heard Levi's deeper voice say something but I couldn't make it out. Why the hell did he talk so much quieter than Armin did?

"He says he's never wanted a diamond ring; he says he found them so plain. He said he thought about an opal or ruby ring, but I think he'll actually like this better." I could hear Armin well enough now. What the hell was he talking about? He was telling Levi about what I had said about wedding rings? Why? What was I going to like better. I scooted closer, thanking myself for having the forethought to tiptop along the quietest parts of the carpet.

"…he say…" I heard Levi.

"He said he wants a beach wedding." Armin said. I held my breath and tilted my head forward to catch the softer sound of Levi's voice.

"A beach wedding?" He said. I could just barely process the words. Oh fuck. Oh no. I squeezed my eyes tight. I didn't want Armin and Levi to be discussing my future wedding together! What if Levi thought I wanted to push him into a wedding and he left me?

"Yeah."

"I look so bad on the beach…I'm so pale." I heard Levi say sadly. I rolled my eyes silently. He thought his paleness would be what I cared about.

"Eren wouldn't care." Armin said simply, and I made a mental note to do something nice for him later. Maybe I would let him talk about gay sex for a while, he loved to do that.

"You're right, he wouldn't care." Good, Levi knew I didn't care about things like that.

"You really love Eren, don't you?" Armin asked. His voice was lower now, so I leaned forward more to hear it. I felt my weight shift uneasily onto one foot and I placed my hands on the wall to steady myself. It would do me no good to fall now.

"I do. I love him so much. I-I-" I heard his voice thick with emotion and I leaned forward more and more. I needed to hear this.

"I can't even explain it…I feel so many things for Eren. I never thought me, a rotten shell of a man, could feel butterflies in his stomach, but when Eren looks at me I can't help it. I feel so devoted to him I can't even explain it. This-" he paused and I got the feeling he was gesturing to something – "is just for me to cement that." He said. Cement what? What were they talking about? I leaned forward, raising onto one teetering leg.

"Wow. You two are so in love it's kind of sick." Armin paused, "You two must have really lovey-dovey sex." My eyes widened and I stifled a gasp. Was Levi going to discuss our sex life?

"He wants me to fuck him while he faces a mirror-" Levi started. My mouth hung open. Levi was discussing our sex life with Armin.

"Hot damn!" Armin interjected.

"-I think I'm going to save that for the night I propose, though." Levi said.

I couldn't help it. I screamed as I fell down in front of the open door.

"Eren!" Armin and Levi both screamed. My elbows were scruffed from the carpet and my head was spinning. It was not because I bumped it on the floor on my way down, which I did, but because I had heard the word _propose _come out of Levi's mouth.

"Eren! Were you eavesdropping?

"No!" I cried out. Levi scooped me up and placed me on the bed.

"Then what were you doing!" Armin huffed.

"I just needed to tell you dinner was ready!" I buried my face into Levi's chest. He felt tense.

"How much did you hear?" He whispered.

"Not much…" I lied.

"Eren," He warned. "How much did you hear?"

"I heard Armin ask if you loved me, and I heard you say yes." I pulled back from his chest but couldn't meet his eyes.

"It's because I do." He whispered, kissing my cheek. "Are you okay? You didn't get hurt, did you?"

"No, Levi, I didn't. I'm fine." I sat up and crawled in his lap. I kissed him deeply and felt the little undercut prickles on the back of his head.

"Eren," He whispered to me.

"Babe." I giggled and kissed his nose. I started to get up.

"No, no, keep kissing, please!" Armin said from his place on the bed.

"Pervert!" I hissed at him. He laughed, low and deep in his belly.

"Yup!" His head was tilted back.

We ate dinner kind of awkwardly that night. They were asking questions trying to figure out how much I had heard. I weaseled my way out of it by saying that I had just heard Levi's answer about love. I didn't mention anything about the wedding. I felt like I wasn't really lying, just not telling the whole truth. I looked into Levi's gray eyes while we had sex that night, and I couldn't stop replaying his words over and over in my mind.

_Propose… propose…propose… _I smiled as I spooned him to sleep. I might be Levi's husband soon.

* * *

so Levi's going to Jared. He'll bring Armin along to pick them up, of course. I need a chapter of Levi x Armin friendship and Levi proposing and Ereri mirror fucking like yas


	19. Captain

screams about wanting to write and having shit to do

* * *

Levi POV

_Lub-dub _

_Lub-dub_

_Lub-dub _

I was nestled on Eren's chest, listening to his heart beat hard as he tried to calm down after a particularly rough round of sex. His breath was ragged and he was still shaking.

"Babe? You okay?" I whispered to him, not moving my head. He took a deep breath. A strange babble of noises came of his throat. I kissed his sweaty skin and chuckled. I must have done well for him not to be able to talk. He whined and hugged me, his stubby nails digging into my back. The raw skin on my back stung from where he had clawed at me like an animal. I loved it.

We stayed like that until his breath settled down. Once he was calmed down, I wiggled around in his arms. He hugged me closer.

"Shower," I said, knowing he would understand.

"No." He whispered back.

"We are filthy." I said, working out of his arms and sitting up. His heavy green eyes followed me.

"I like it." He said lazily, letting his eyes flutter close. I sighed.

"I know you just fucking love bathing in sweat and cum but I need _clean_."

"You do this every time." He pouted.

"Well, we can always just not get dirty?" I teased. His eyes shot open and he frowned.

"You don't mean it." He narrowed his eyes.

"Shower with me and then I'm changing the sheets."

"Shower, but no changing the sheets." He negotiated.

"They're soaked in sweat!" I huffed. "Shower and we sleep in your room."

He sat up. "Fine."

We slipped on the loose shorts that we kept for the purpose of walking to the shower after sex and made our way to the bathroom. We walked past Armin's room and heard snoring. Eren looked up at me in surprise.

"He never snores." He whispered to me.

"Maybe the stress from school is really getting to him?" I whispered back. Eren frowned, glancing back at Armin's room before we closed the bathroom door.

"Speaking of Armin," I started, pulling off his shorts.

"Please, don't undress me while talking about Armin." Eren said, his eyes wide.

"No, no, no, that's not where I'm going with this." I pulled off my own shorts as Eren turned on the water.

"I was going to say that I'm going out with him tomorrow." I said, feeling the water and adjusting it a bit warmer.

"Out? Like a date?" He laughed, a short barking sound. "Are you dating Armin, too?"

"No! I mean like a friend thing! I have to go do a thing, and he's coming to help." I hissed.

Eren was still laughing when we got into the shower.

"What are gonna do on your date?" He teased.

"Not a date."

"What are you gonna do on your not date?"

"Stuff." I said gruffly. He raised an eyebrow at me. I turned away from him to grab the soap.

"And things." I continued.

"Stuff and things?" He asked. His soapy hand shook with laughter as he ran them over my shoulders.

"It's nothing." I lied. Getting his wedding ring would be a big deal.

"Mmmmhmmm. Sure." He washed the front of my body. I frowned and stayed quiet until he told me to turn around. I couldn't think of anything to say.

"Holy shit. I did a number on your back." He ran his soapy fingers over my raw back and I hissed and the pain came through.

"It's a good thing I keep my nails trimmed. Otherwise, I probably would have drawn blood." He said quietly.

"Hey." I said, looking at him over my shoulder. "It's okay. I like it when you scratch me, so this pain is acceptable."

"If you say so."

I turned around and saw that he wouldn't look me in the eye. I pulled on his chin until he finally did.

"Do you hate me because you're always sore from fucking?" I asked.

"No! I like it!" He said, blushing.

"Exactly." I said. I turned back around. "I like this."

He started washing me again. I could tell the playful mood had left now, and I racked my brain to think of something to cheer him up. He finished washing me and I picked up the soap. I squeezed a generous amount of the oak smelling soap onto my hands and lathered it against his chest. He wouldn't look at me. Finally, I thought of a happy subject.

"We're going shopping." I said, working down his abs. "We're getting a thing. It's for you, so that's why I can't give a lot of details."

"Oh." He looked at me. "You don't have to get anything for me."

"I want to, silly boy." I pinched his soapy nipple and he yelped.

"Levi!" He hissed. I winked at him.

"Armin and I will be gone most of the day." I continued.

"How the fuck long are you gonna shop? Geez." He laughed. Good, he wasn't sad anymore.

"Eren's presents are important." I explained.

"Plural? Levi, please don't spend too much money on me." He whined.

"I don't have to pay rent for another month right? I have to use my money for something."

"Get something that makes you happy." He whispered. I pushed on his shoulder to make him turn around.

"Getting presents for a certain beautiful boy does make me happy." I purred to him as I massaged his ass.

"Levi! Don't tease me. You know I can't go again right now." He moved away from me. I smacked his ass, loving the little yelp he gave.

"You want to, though."

"I always want to fuck when we're naked together!" He said harshly.

"I'll stop, babe. Let me wash you." I pulled him back and we finished showering. We died off and went back to our room to dress. Eren frowned as he heard the snores in Armin's room again.

"Could it be Erwin?" I asked as we climbed into bed. He turned toward me with a jerk and his eyes lit up.

"Oh my god! That's it! Erwin is snoring in Armin's room!" He laughed, relieved. "That explains the big grey jacket hung up by the door! I assumed Armin had borrowed it."

I laid down on the bed and pulled him close while he rambled on about Armin.

"I'm so glad that they found each other. They're great for each other. Armin's always been very vocal about what he likes and Erwin fits that. He's tall, older, smart, gay, and has a real alpha-male vibe. Armin's always been into that. From Armin's sex talk during our video games, Erwin's really dominant and has no problem keeping up with Armin, and you know how sexual Armin is. It's just great to see him moved on after Jean. The house is so peaceful now – well, minus the sex noises – without the fighting. We're all happy. It's nice and –"

I cut him off with a kiss to the back of his neck.

"Babe, sleep." I said.

"I'm not tired." He whined.

"Yes, you are. You're a college kid; you're always tired." I said.

"Damn. You got me."

I hummed in response.

"What am I gonna do tomorrow all by myself?" He whispered.

"Spend the day with Mikasa?" I suggested.

"Yeah." He mumbled sleepily. "Or maybe with Reiner. I'm sure Reiner would indulge me." He pushed out of my arms and grabbed his phone from the night stand. I saw him wince as the light hit him.

"Reiner?" I said. I had never met him, but from the photos where he was sitting a little too close to Eren, I could tell he was bad news.

"Yeah. He's always up for, like, anything." I saw his thumbs moving quickly as he sent a text.

I couldn't help but frown. I wanted to tell him to stay away from that blond wall of meat, but I didn't. I felt nervous about Reiner, but I wouldn't be controlling. He set his phone back on the nightstand and cuddled back to me. I silently hoped Reiner would turn Eren down.

"You're that comfortable with Reiner?" I asked.

"Yeah. He's a good guy. He's really chill."

I hummed in response. He pulled the covers back up to his neck and we tried to fall asleep. I dreamed of the wedding that night.

_Eren was shirtless on the beach. He wore only green swim trunks and a shimmering veil. He stood behind the right section of beach chairs with Mikasa. They were waiting for the flower boy, Armin, to finish scattering around flower petals and putting flower crowns on the guests. He finished with a twirl and danced into Erwin's arms. They were both in blue swim trunks. _

_Mikasa, in her red scarf and a black one piece, started walking Eren down the aisle and I could see a few people begin to tear up, namely Hanje. Eren made it to the podium where he was going to be married and he turned to face his husband, Reiner. They looked lovingly into each other eyes and proclaimed their love for one another. Reiner pulled his veil up and leaned down. Eren reached up on his tip toes and pulled Reiner's face down to his. _

I gasped awake in a cold sweat. I was on my back, the blankets thrown on the floor. I glanced over at Eren and found him curled into a ball. I reached a clammy hand over and ran it down his tan back, focusing my attention on his spine. His skin was cold and I felt guilty. I had always had a bad habit of throwing the blankets on the floor when I had a nightmare. I slipped off the bed and tucked the blankets around him. He was curled so tight into a ball to conserve heat that I didn't try to spoon him.

It was already light outside and I could hear Armin banging around the kitchen. There was no point in going back to sleep now. I laid awake thinking about my nightmare. I knew it was bullshit, but I couldn't help but feel a tug in my heart. Could Reiner make him happier than I can?

It wasn't long before Eren was awoken by his phone buzzing. He shot out a hand, fumbling around the night stand before finally grabbing the phone. He hissed as the light hit his eyes.

"Fuck you, Reiner."

I looked at him intently, my nightmare still fresh in my mind.

"What's that?"

"He just texted me back, waking me up." He said.

"What did he say?" I asked.

"'Fuck yeah.'"

"I guess we should get dressed then." I said stiffly.

"What's wrong, Levi?" He asked. I got up and headed to the door.

"Nothing, just going to get dressed." I headed out to my room. I dressed casually in jeans and a black button up.

"Good morning!" Armin said cheerfully as I walked into the kitchen. He has some bacon sizzling and there were hash browns on the table already. I took a big helping and grunted at Armin.

"What wrong, Levi?" He asked, sliding some bacon onto my plate.

"Eren's spending the day with Reiner." I grumbled.

"Oh." Armin opened his mouth to say something more, but quickly shut it as Eren walked in.

"Reiner's gonna meet me at a café downtown around noon." He said as he sat down next to me. I glanced at the clock. He had two hours.

"That's about when Levi and I will leave then," Armin trailed off. I nodded. This was going to be a big day.

Eren POV

I sat at the counter of the café, swinging my feet and sipping on an iced coffee. Reiner was on his way, and I had some time to kill. I thought about Levi, about how he was acting. The only thing that I could think was that Levi didn't like that I was out with Reiner. If that was true, it was silly. He didn't have anything to worry about with Reiner. He was a little touchy-feely, but he wasn't into me. At least, I didn't think so.

Large hands clasping my shoulders suddenly interrupted my thoughts. I jumped and yelped, drawing attention to us.

"Reiner!" I growled. I stood up and faced him. "Wear a fucking bell or stop scaring me."

"Hey, man!" He hugged me, my face squished against his meaty chest. His large hands splayed over my back. He slid them down to rest on my lower back and I pulled back.

"Need air, Reiner!"

He let go and rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry, Eren."

"It's okay. It's good to see you!" I smiled at him. "Want something from the café? My treat!"

"Nah man, it's just good to see you, too. I haven't seen you much since you got that new man candy and all." He smiled and shuffled awkwardly.

"His name is Levi." I informed him.

"Ah, yeah, I knew it was like Lenny or Lee or something." He said. I laughed.

"You ready to go? I've never done this, so I'll let you take the lead." I threw the coffee away and I pulled on my jacket, noticing that Reiner didn't bother to wear one.

"I'm gonna take you to this place just outside downtown." He said, leading the way down the sidewalk. "It's a bit of a walk."

"I don't care. Gives us time to talk." I smiled at him. He looked into my eyes and gulped, looking away.

"How's that boyfriend of yours treatin' you?" He asked.

"Levi treats me so good, Reiner. I can't even describe it." I smiled bigger.

"You, um, love him?"

"Yeah." I looked at him sideways. "Why do you ask?"

"Just looking out for ya. You're my little buddy." He reached over and trapped my head between his arm and his torso. He rubbed my head and I struggled out of his grip.

"Damn it, Reiner! Stop doing that!" I pouted. He had been doing that since we were kids.

"Sorry." He coughed a bit. "So if you hadn't met Levi, um, who do you think you'd be dating?"

"What a silly question." I said. "I don't even know. Why do you ask?"

"Just wondering. I kinda always pictured you with a blond or something." He said.

"Like you?" I teased. His eyes shot over to me.

"Yeah." He said seriously. I stopped walking, looking at him.

"Reiner?" I said. I must have heard him wrong. Did Reiner like me? I thought about all the times Reiner had gotten just a little too close, touching my waist when we went through doors and clapping my thigh when he made jokes. I remembered all the times when he got drunk and tried to kiss me.

"Just kidding." He smiled, walking faster.

"Oh!" I laughed. "You actually had me going there for a second."

"Can you imagine us together?" He joked. I just laughed.

We chatted idly until he showed me the shop.

"Hell yeah!" I said automatically after seeing all the displays for video games in the shop front.

"This is where I get all my birthday presents." He said, touching my waist gently as he led me inside. A clerk gave us a bored look and then went back to leaning on the counter.

"Remember when you got Jean that Barbie horse game for his birthday?" I asked.

"Everyone made horse jokes that year! You gave him a horse harness-" Reiner started.

"-and Armin gave him a riding crop." I interrupted. We laughed as Reiner showed me to where they had the kind of games Armin and I played.

We browsed through them, talking and laughing. He occasionally would grab my hand and lead me to something. He would forget to let go of my hand once we got there, causing me to awkwardly tug out of his grip.

"So you got anything on the romantic horizons?" I asked him as we made our way to a sub shop for lunch.

"I'm kinda caught up on this one guy." He said, looking away.

"Oh yeah?" I took a sip of my soda. "Tell me about him."

"Uh," He shuffled nervously. "He's really cute."

He didn't look like he was going to say anything else, so I prompted him with questions.

"What's his name?"

"I'd rather not say…um, it's complicated with him because he's taken." He put down the sandwich and wiped his hands on his pants.

"Okay," I said slowly. "Then just tell me about him."

"Like what?"

"Like where did you meet? What's his hobbies? What's he look like?" I took a bite of Reiner, signaling that it was his turn to talk.

"Um, we met through mutual friends. He likes to play video games and cook. He's kinda short. He's got pretty eyes and soft skin." He rubbed the back of his neck. "He's really sweet and funny and kinda reminds me of, like, a puppy or a fluffy bunny."

"Reiner, everyone is short compared to you. Well, except Berthold. Do you think you can invite him out to our next get together?" I finished my food and saw that Reiner hadn't. That was my first clue that something was really distressing him. He always finished food.

"He'll already be there." He said softly.

"Reiner?" I asked. The only people invited to our get togethers were the people in our friend group. It must be someone in our friend group then. I sat in thought while Reiner stared down at the table. I listed out all the guys in our group in my head and marked out all the ones that were single. That left me, Armin, Connie, and Jean. Then, I remembered what he said about cooking. We all loved video games, but I was the only one who liked cooking.

"Holy fuck." I whispered.

"Yeah." He said quietly.

I was suddenly very uncomfortable.

"Reiner, man, I'm flattered, but I love Levi." I said, trying to stay calm.

"I know, man. I just…we could try a relationship if you ever, I don't know, broke up with Levi or something." He looked at me hopefully.

"So are you so touchy-feely with everyone, or is it just me because you like me?" I asked. I was sure that over the course of our friendship he had rubbed me almost everywhere.

"Yeah…It just… feels really good to touch you. It feels right." He said and I looked away.

"Reiner, I think you should focus your attention on Bert. He's really into you." I needed to do something to distract him.

"Really?" He sounded like he didn't believe me. "I thought he was straight."

"He's bisexual, bro. He's into you, too."

"If there's no chance with you?" He asked.

"None." I said firmly.

"Then I guess I'll talk to him." He said disappointedly.

"Reiner, I'm feeling really uncomfortable and I'm gonna head out. Good luck with Bert." I dug in my jeans for my wallet and pulled out some money for the food.

"I really fucked up our friendship, huh?" He said nervously.

"It'll take time, but things will get back to normal." I said as I pulled on my jacket.

"Yeah." He said. "See you later, man."

I waved bye to him and walked quickly away from the sub shop.

Levi POV

"So, are either one of you gonna wear a dress?" Armin asked as we walked to the jewelry store to buy the rings.

"No, Armin. We're both guys."

"I think it would be hot if you both wore dresses." He snickered. I rolled my eyes.

"Is there anything you don't find hot?" I asked, teasingly.

"I'm not really into, like, food play. Like whip cream and strawberries are fine, but I draw the line at whipping out a bowl of ramen mid-fuck-"

"It was a rhetorical question, Armin,"

"- Not thatI _haven't _done that. I mean, I once let this really burly bi guy slurp ramen off my chest-"

"Armin, I don't give a fuck."

"-but it was beef flavored, so I smelled like beef the rest of the day, which is a turn-off. So, never doing that again." He smiled at me as I increased my pace, trying to literally walk out of the conversation.

"I don't care what food hairy guys have eaten off of you-"

"I said, burly, not hairy. Though, he was hairy, too. _Hey, slow the fuck down!" _

I gave him a pointed look. "I'm fine talking about sex, but I don't want to hear about _everything _you've ever done."

He caught up to me and I slowed down to his pace. He gave me a small, mischievous smile.

"He came in my eye."

"Bye."

I turned on my heel and walked away from him, ignoring his protests. He ran up to me.

"But the rings!" He called. "The store is this way!"

"I'll go the long way if it means not having to hear about an eyeful of cum." I barked at him. A few people around us stared openly at us, the two short gay boys discussing cum in the middle of a busy street.

"I won't talk about it!" He said, grabbing my hand. I eyed him.

"Promise?"

"I promise on Erwin's big, thick co-"

"I get it!" I hissed. He gave me a goofy smile.

"Do you like anything other than gay sex?" I asked him.

"There are things other than gay sex?"

"Armin." I warned.

"Just kidding." He paused. "I'm really into biology. Like cell biology and genetic biology."

I hummed and pretended to know what he was talking about.

"It's so fascinating to me that cells make up all of us, and they function so beautifully. They are like organic machines and organelles are the machine parts. I want to one day work at a lab that fucks with the parts and sees what happens."

"Like force mutations and shit?" I asked as we got near the store. He laughed.

"Yeah. More on the 'and shit' side but, yeah, mutations. Mutations are fucking rad, man." He smiled as we stopped to wipe our feet before entering the store.

"Sure, sure, Professor X." I said.

"Fuck off, X-Men may or may not have been a big part of my childhood."

We were immediately greeted by a very stiff looking man. He had a kind enough looking face, but his suit made him look cold.

"Can I help you, um-" He glanced a couple more times at Armin, trying to figure out his gender, which really irked me "-gentlemen find something?"

"Well, we're not here to fuck spiders." I said a little too harshly to him. Armin and the man looked at me wide eyed.

"Levi! Be nice!" Armin said before turning to the man with a dazzling smile. "Wedding stress is getting to him."

The man relaxed. "I'm sure we can help you and your lady with your wedding. I'm Pixis and you two are?"

"Armin, Sir." Armin said, extending a hand and shaking with Pixis. I said nothing, reaching instead into my jacket for the print offs of the exact rings I wanted. I handed them to him.

"These. Exactly. Size 9." I said.

"Certainly, Sir-?" He said, unfolding the pages and looking through them.

"Levi." I said after Armin gave me another look. I didn't like this man examining Armin for gender and suggesting I was marrying a lady.

"Sir, these are both emerald rings." He said thoughtfully. "Are you sure the Miss Levi wouldn't prefer a traditional diamond wedding ri-"

"Mister." I cut him off.

He stared at me blankly.

"Yes?"

"Mister." I repeated with a sigh. His eyebrows furrowed.

"I'm listening." Pixis said, cocking his wrinkled head to the side.

"He thinks you're addressing him as 'mister'." Armin nudged me.

"Sir, He's saying that he's marrying a mister, not a miss." Armin explained to Pixis. Pixis's eyes grew wide.

"Oh." He said, and clearly looked uncomfortable.

"He has brilliant emerald eyes, and so he should have a brilliant emerald ring." I said flatly.

"Right. Okay." He glanced over at Armin, looking for his eye color, and then relaxed a bit when he saw that Armin wasn't my lover. He shifted around nervously. "I'll go see if we have these in the back."

He hurried away. We saw him stop and lean into whisper in a coworker's ear. She blushed a bit and look over at us. I scowled. When you're queer, suddenly it's everybody's fucking business.

"He checked my eyes." Armin mused.

"Probably didn't want to be around two fags."

"Levi-" He looked at me disappointedly.

"Right now he thinks I'm the only one."

"Maybe he's not homophobic. Maybe he was just surprised."

I bit back the "Sure, Jan" that was on my tongue. I was surprised it was even there. I blame my young, blogger boyfriend. He loved memes and I fucked hated how some of them wormed their way into my life. I was a grown ass man, damn it. I was not going to communicate through memes.

Thinking about Eren, laughing as he watched the _Brady Bunch _clip over and over til he cried with laughter made me relax in ways I couldn't describe. I would be okay. I would get the rings, get out of this place, and go propose and fuck my boyfriend/future husband. I was almost 100% sure he would say yes, but I was still nervous.

"Do you think he'll say yes?" I asked Armin as we waited for Pixis.

He shot me a look that said "bitch, please".

"Does a bear shit in the woods?" He shot back.

"Is that a shit joke? Am I rubbing off on you?" I teased.

"I guess you are. Soon, maybe I'll rub off on you."

"What could you rub off on me?" I asked, almost concerned.

"A never ending need to discuss kinky gay sex." He said as Pixis reappeared behind the jewelry counter and started walking over to us.

"I already love kinky gay sex. I wonder how adventurous I can get with Eren? You think he'll let me at least tie him up while I shove my cock in his tight little, greedy little boy cu- _Oh, _Pixis, did you find them?"

Armin threw me a smirk and I knew he knew that I did that on purpose. I was sure Pixis had at least heard the last part, because he was beet red and refusing to meet my eyes.

"I found one, s-sir." He said. He handed me the engagement ring in the box and I flipped it open and looked at it. I showed Armin and he nodded thoughtfully.

"The other one will have to be ordered, I presume." I said.

"Yes, sir." He said. "We have only a few sizes of that one, and none of them are 9."

I hummed. "How long will that take?"

"I can have it in here this week. Would you be picking it up or should we deliver it to an address?" He said, moving us over to the register. We bypassed all the people at the counters, and I was glad I did my hours of searching online.

"I'll pick it up here." I said, taking out my wallet. He and I were grateful this transaction went so quickly. I tucked the ring box into my shirt pocket and zipped my jacket up over it. I would _not _lose this ring.

"What's next? You hungry yet?" I asked Armin as we left the shop.

"Nope. So if you're not hungry, I think we should go looking at suits and shit next, then lunch, then sex toy shopping, lingerie shopping, maybe look at some decorations, a new cake shop opened-"

"Wait, what were those last things?" I asked.

"Cake shop?" He said innocently, cocking his head. "Decorations?"

"_Sex toys, Armin._" I hissed. He smiled.

"If you insist! We can do that first."

"Armin, I am not going sex toy shopping with you." I gave him a hard look.

"Didn't you get tell me about how you wanted to get kinky with Eren? Got to have the shit to do that, man." He smiled, knowing he had me.

"Fuck. Fine, but lingerie?"

"He's gotta wear something for ya on you're honeymoon, doesn't he?" He laughed.

"Honeymoon? Armin, we aren't even engaged, yet." I said.

"I'm sure you two will have ripped it to shreds by then, anyway. We'll get him lots of lacy things, in all different colors-"

"Armin." I said, the images flooding my mind.

"-That way you'll know what color of ripped up lace he looks best in-"

"Armin!" Red. Green. Black. Pink. Blue. Grey. He would look good no matter what and I wanted to see it all.

"-maybe some leather, too."

"Armin Arlert!" I hissed.

"What?" His big blue eyes looked at me.

"You know what, you fucker. Don't you dare get The Captain up right now when Eren is too far to fuck." I said, realizing my mistake a few moments too late.

"T-t-the Captain? You named your dick The Captain." He shook with laughter. "The fucking Captain!"

"Arlert, I swear to fuck."

"The Captain, though?"

"_Fuck off_." I hissed.

He gave a sloppy salute. "Aye! Aye! Cap'n!"

"I fucking hate you, Armin." I fucking loved him. He was officially one of my best and only friends.

* * *

i think im just about done here. wow my first fic is almost done. im tossing around the idea of making a sequel about after the wedding, ereri babies with papa levi and daddy eren


	20. Ribbon

I am not sorry.

* * *

Levi POV

"This is me." Armin said, holding up a dildo of a certain small size. He set that one down and picked up a much, much larger black vibrator. "And _this _is Erwin."

He clicked that one on and it started vibrating. He grinned wide, his eyes taking on a light I hadn't seen before.

"I don't need to know how big Erwin's dick-" I started, but he cut me off by flicking another switch which cause the head to spin around. I looked at it wide-eyed as it spun and vibrated. Armin tipped his head back and let out a laugh that can only be described maniacal.

"If Erwin's dick does that," I hissed over his evil cackling, "get him to a god damn hospital!"

"If Erwin's dick did this," he held up the still spinning toy, "I'd be his doctor, nurse, and patient! Hell yeah!"

"_Armin fucking Arlert." _I grabbed the toy from his hands.

"Whoa." I whispered as the thing vibrated down my arm. This thing had some power.

"Yeah. So give it back. I'm buying that." Armin said, holding his basket out to me. I set it in there, trying not to think about what he would do with that later.

I looked down the collection of dildos and vibrators. I didn't really think Eren and I needed one of these. My eyes lingered on an average sized purple vibrator and I was struck with the image of Eren all tied up as I held it against his prostate. He would squirm and whimper and call my name.

I grabbed it and tucked it in my own basket. I needed to act out that fantasy.

"Oh? A little purple one? You sure you and Eren don't need something _Erwin sized?_" He snickered.

"Shut the fuck up."

"Sure…" He looked up and down the dildos and vibrators. "So which one is you?"

"You are asking me to pick out the sex toy that's the most like my penis? Seriously?"

"Well, yeah. We're looking at a wall of dick. Come on, Levi." He paused, picking up a realistic skin model dildo. "Eren."

I eyed it. It was about the right length and width, but the tip was too big. "How do you know Eren's dick size? Something you need to tell me?"

"Please, Levi." He snorted.

"Please, Armin." I raised an eyebrow.

"Who do you think used to take care of Eren's drunk ass? Me. I used to have to undress him and put him to bed."

"So you had to pull off his underwear and get him hard?" I asked, feeling a little angry. I knew I was being unfair. I mean, this was happening before Eren knew me. If Armin and Eren fooled around, I shouldn't get angry. It was before me.

"He doesn't always wear underwear, Levi. Also, I never got him hard. I'm just really good at seeing a limp dick and picturing it hard." He winked at me. "I had lots of practice. I loved the locker room in school."

"Fuck." I said to him.

"Well, if you want to. I mean, I'm sure Erwin, Eren, you, and I can have some fun." He shimmed his shoulders at me.

"I- I don't think-"

"I'm fucking kidding." He sighed. I shuffled on my feet before I picked out a dildo that was surprisingly close to me and handing it to him. He looked confused for a moment before his face lit up.

"Wow. Nice. Definitely bigger than me, but I'm really little. I like it that way, since I'm such a bottom. Erwin likes it, too, since he can fit my whole dick in his-"

"Armin, shut up." I shook my head. I was already a little embarrassed because of my picking out a Levi-dick.

"I was gonna say hand, but he can also fit it in his mouth."

"That's nice. Can we move on?" I begged. He slid the Levi-dick into my basket.

"For Eren when you're away." He winked. He laughed and walked over to the bondage gear.

"Alright, grab what you need for playtime with Eren. I need to refresh my supplies anyway. Erwin and I might have broken some toys."

"I'm just gonna start ignoring you when you talk about your sex life."

"You can try, man. You can try." He eyed the restraints I was grabbing. I was just planning on trying out that. Armin had other ideas, though. He grabbed some random things and threw them in my basket.

"No. No, Armin." I started putting them back. I sighed as I put back the blindfold. I would love to blindfold Eren and fuck him so hard he screamed until his throat was raw, but I needed eye contact.

"I'm the one who listens to Eren's drunken ramblings, Levi. I know what Eren's into. Trust me." He gave me an innocent look that I didn't trust.

"Oh?" I cocked an eyebrow. "Eren trusts you with his kinky fantasies?"

"Yes. He doesn't tell you cause he's embarrassed. Trust me. He wants to get kinky with you." Armin smiled at me. "I'm basically his love therapist. He tells me everything and I try and help."

"You're fucking kidding, right? You just called yourself the love doctor." I laughed at him.

"Hey! I said _therapist_. However, if you prefer _doctor_…" He shimmied his shoulders at me again. "Love doctor Arlert can see you now, baby."

"Shut the fuck up!" I said a little too loud. A couple other customers stopped at looked at the two men arguing in front of the riding crops. I held my hands up to them as Armin kept shimmying. I wanted all the onlookers to know that I had no part in the disaster that was Armin Arlert in a sex toy shop. He put his basket on the ground so he could properly shimmy all around me.

"You want some of this cinnamon roll, Levi? You mackin' on some honey bun?" He laughed as I tried to stop him.

"Armin, I will literally punch you in your shitty face." I warned him, setting my basket down.

"No, you won't. 'Kasa will kill you, and then you won't get to shove that purple vibrator in Eren's greedy little hole." He put his hands on his hips. He was still annoying me, but at least he stopped dancing.

"We are gonna get kicked out." I hissed.

"No, we won't, Levi. I know the-" He started.

"God, just grab your shit and let's check out."

"I want to show you the-" He whined.

"No. No. Cake shop. Now. I need wipe this from my memory with chocolate." I grabbed my stuff and walked quickly to the counter to pay.

"Find everything okay?" The woman checking me out asked in a bored voice.

I opened my mouth to answer that yes, everything was fine when Armin cut me off sliding in beside me.

"Hey, hey, sweet thing. How are you doing today?" He winked at her.

"I'm having a shit day, thanks." She tucked her blonde hair behind her ear and looked over at me. "Who's the moody old man?"

"Old man?" I asked, offended.

"This is Levi. He's gonna fuck Eren with that." He held up the purple vibrator.

"That's great." She said in a monotone voice, popping some bubble gum. "I expected him to be taller. And younger."

I just looked at her. She was smaller than me! I looked at her shirt for a name tag and didn't find one. I looked at Armin, expecting him to introduce me to her. He was busy taking out his wallet.

"Oh! Armin, don't pay for my things-"

"Wedding present." He smiled at me. "All of this is on me, Annie."

Annie. Oh, shit. This was Mikasa's girlfriend? Fuck me. I hoped she didn't tell Mikasa about what I got. I can only imagine Mikasa's reaction to restraints. I didn't make eye contact with her all through the transaction.

"So when's the fucking wedding?" She asked.

"I don't know, yet." I answered.

"You haven't even asked him, yet." It wasn't a question.

"No."

"Yeah. Mikasa would have told me as soon as Eren told her." She gave me a pointed look. "Mikasa's my girlfriend."

"I know." I said a little confused.

"Anything that hurts Eren, hurts Mikasa. Anything that hurts Armin, hurts Mikasa." She said, and it clicked.

"I won't hurt either of them, for fuck's sake." I looked at her and narrowed my eyes. "Anything that hurts Mikasa, hurts Eren and Armin."

She looked at me shocked. She must not be used to people coming back at her. She was quiet as she handed the bags to me and Armin.

"Hey, let's cheer up! No one's gonna hurt anyone." Armin smiled at us nervously.

Annie hummed. "See you later, Armin." She turned to me and popped her gum at me. "Levi."

"Later, babe." Armin blew a kiss at her and then walked out of the shop.

I was glad that the shop had unmarked bags and a policy to double-bag everything. I would hate to have to beat someone cause they called out something not so nice to me or Armin because of what we were holding.

"She's actually nice." Armin said as we walked to the cake shop. "She just is really protective of us."

"Yeah and so am I." I bristled. Armin was quiet for a moment.

"You're protective over me and Mikasa?" He asked softly.

"What? You're even questioning that? Armin, I will beat ass over you two." I turned my head and looked at him. He wasn't looking at me, he was looking down.

"Armin?" I asked gently.

"It's nothing. Let's hurry. I'm hungry." He picked up the pace and shot me a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"I like bondage. I really like being tied up and just _rammed…_" He rambled on, but it was different this time. He wasn't talking because he was messing with me, or because he wanted to. This was him talking because he didn't want me asking questions. Fine. I would respect his privacy. I hummed in the appropriate spots in conversation and asked the proper questions to get him to talk more about all the things he enjoyed.

We walked all the way to cake shop like that. Armin was the one to talk to the woman in charge, Hitch.

"Welcome to Hitch and Marlo's specialty cakes!"

"We need a wedding cake soon and we're hoping to sample some cake flavors." He smiled at her.

"Of course!" Hitch smiled at us. She led us to a room in the back and we sat together, our bags on the floor next to us. I tied the tops closed so no one would make any snide comments about it.

She brought us a platter with bites of cake on it.

"Now, do either of you have any allergies we need to worry about?" Hitch looked back and forth between us with a catty smile.

"Oh! No, no, no, we aren't the grooms! My friend is marrying him." Armin put his hand on my shoulder. Hitch looked at us funny and I knew it was because this was typically an activity done by the people getting married. I sighed.

"He can't have almonds." I said, lazily looking over the cake bites.

"Okay. No almond buttercream then." She pointed to it. Armin grabbed a bite.

"Oh god, that's good." He looked at my piece wide eyed and I waved at him. He clapped his hands and grabbed my bite. Eren couldn't have it, so it wasn't going be the wedding cake. I didn't care what it tasted like.

"He likes chocolate. We're going to have chocolate."

"Okay." She nodded. She pointed to a couple brown slices. I tried them one after the other, not drinking any water in between and she frowned slightly.

She tried to call out the names of all the cake Armin was eating, but he switched between treats so fast, she had trouble with it.

"This one." I said, pointing to the pink decorative paper the cake had been resting on before I ate it. The cakes all had different colors under them, so I knew she would be able to understand.

"German chocolate with chocolate icing?" She asked.

"I fucking guess." I looked over at Armin and spoke to him. "Eat the pink shit and tell me what you think."

Armin grabbed it happily and ate it in one bite. "Oh, fuck, yes. He'll love it. He loved German chocolate."

Hitch nodded. "That's our second best seller."

"What's the first?" Armin asked. I looked at his plate and saw it covered in the little papers. He had almost finished the damn thing.

"Strawberry." She smiled. "We used fresh fruit in the batter."

"Oh, whistling bitch, we have a problem. He loves strawberry." Armin looked at me. I sampled the strawberry and found it was okay. I didn't like strawberries, though.

"Then we'll get both." I shrugged.

"You want two flavors in the wedding cake? We can do that with a tiered cake. The largest tier can be whatever flavor you want and-" Hitch started, leaning forward.

"I meant we'll just get two wedding cakes."

Armin looked at me and then burst out laughing. "Eren also likes red velvet because he loves cream cheese! Should you get a third wedding cake?"

"Well, if he likes the icing, then let's get a German chocolate wedding cake with cream cheese icing. Then, we can get another wedding cake with strawberry cake and icing. Decorate that one with pink shit like flower petals." I waved a hand.

"We can do that! We can make sugar petals and make roses from the icing for you. We can put the roses all over." Hitch said, probably thinking about how if she could sell this right, she would be making double the profit.

"Levi, what the fuck are we going to do with two cakes?" Armin asked. "You can't have that many people coming to your wedding in the first place."

"I only want close friends and family." I said, not wanting to admit that I had only a handful of friends. Hanje and Mike were my friends. After that I had to go to 'kinda-friend' like Petra and Olou.

"How many people will be attending? We have cakes that can feed a hundred people." Hitch asked.

"I'm thinking more like fifteen." I said, hoping I could scrape together that many people. "But Hanje alone will eat enough cake for twenty people."

Hitch laughed. "We can definitely handle a cake for thirty-five."

I nodded. "Yes. Two caked for thirty-five people."

She pulled out a notepad and clicked her pen. "Flavors for the first?"

"German chocolate and cream cheese." I said.

"Levi, that sounds fucking gross. Put the cream cheese on the strawberry." Armin said, stealing cake bites from my plate.

"You're suddenly on board with the two cakes idea?" I asked him.

"I'm gonna challenge Hanje to an eating contest at the wedding." He smiled at me.

"Of course you are." I turned back to Hitch. "Strawberry with the cream cheese, then."

"Good choice. Shape of the tiers? I can do round or square or a mix."

"Can you make it shaped like a dic-" Armin said. I saved us by coughing very loudly.

"_What?_ It's a gay wedding, after all." He defended.I glared at him and we were in a staring contest for a few moments before Hitch interrupted.

"Circular is the more tradition route, and square is more modern." She said, smirking at Armin.

"Circular, please. Three tiers, flower decorations and ribbons or whatever the fuck." I said.

"So, really traditional?" Hitch asked, and I saw her pen moving in a sketch.

"Yeah."

Hitch stuck her tongue into the corner of her mouth and looked deep in concentration. After a moment she showed us the drawing for approval.

"Oh, wow! Yes!" Armin said excitedly.

"Not bad." I said gruffly.

"Now the German? What flavor icing?"

"Whatever was on the sample?" I said, leaning back in my chair. I looked at the clock. It was fucking three. I wanted to get home and tie up Eren already.

"Hershey chocolate buttercream." She nodded. "My favorite."

"Do you sell that separately?" Armin asked suddenly leaning forward. Hitch looked up from her sketching.

"What do you mean?"

"Let's say I was in the market for some chocolate flavored stuff for some chocolate favored fun-"

"Armin." I hissed, sitting forward.

"-If you get my drift. Would I be able to get, like, a big tub of it?"

Hitch blinked before she burst out laughing. "Yes! I get your drift. I'll have Marlo whip up a batch for you when he's making some for the cake. He does the baking and I decorate and deal with customers."

"You're a doll, Hitch." Armin smiled at her. She held her hand to her face and giggled. _God. _I just wanted to make it home without Armin's sex life being on display one more time.

"That cake will need to be a more modern one. Make it square with those little squiggle shits on it." I said, bringing their attention back to why we were here.

She sketched it out quickly and we approved it.

"When will you need these?" She asked.

"Um…" I said, looking at Armin. "What's the latest you can hold this order?"

"We can keep it for three months while you finish planning your big day, so long as you pay the retainer fee, which will count toward the cost of the cake." She closed her notebook.

"Three months then." I paid the fee and she printed off copies of the plans and a receipt. I tucked them into my jacket next to the ring.

"Alright. Armin. Let's go the fuck home."

"Right, Captain." He giggled, waving bye to Hitch. She waved back while I scowled at him.

We started walking home.

"She was nice." Armin commented.

"Yeah."

He paused for a moment, and I noticed a falter in his steps. "They used to beat me."

"What?" I said, stopping and looking at him.

"Don't stop in the middle of the street!" He tugged me so I kept walking. "The other kids at school used to beat me, like, all the time. I'm a small, weak, gay boy. I'm the easiest target there is. They used to beat me every time they saw me. There's this one closet in the school that I'm pretty sure still has my blood stains in it."

"Fuck." I said. I didn't know what else to say.

"It got so bad I thought I they might beat me to death every single day. Then, I told Mikasa and Eren the names of the people doing it. The next day, they didn't bother me. The day after that, they weren't even in school and Mikasa and Eren had scrapes all over their knuckles."

He gave me a small smile.

"It still happened sometimes, but that was only once in a year, if that. Mikasa and Eren protected me. I love them, and they love me. I really get nervous walking around here alone, since I see the people who beat me all the time. Just- just hearing you say you're protective of me makes me feel less nervous walking around here."

We stopped in front of the building and I set down my bags to pull him into a hug. He dropped his bags in surprise and hugged me back.

"I mean it, Armin, I'll beat a motherfucker for you. I've got a lot of experience under my belt and I'm strong. I only freeze up when I'm sexually assaulted." I said into his ear. He pulled back.

"What?"

"This guy beat me and raped me as a kid. He did it nearly every day until he was shipped off. When someone sexually assaults me, I get flashbacks." I rubbed the back of my neck and looked down. "They're pretty debilitating."

"That's what happened that night you ran off." He whispered.

"Yeah." I swallowed.

"Oh, god, Levi…" He pulled me into his arms and we hugged for a long time.

"Guys!" I heard Eren whine. Armin and I broke away from each other and looked up to see Eren leaning over the railing far above us.

"Guys, come the fuck on! Hug in the house!"

I gave him a smile and grabbed my bags. Armin grabbed his and we started up the steps.

"Eren makes you smile." He said happily.

"Yeah, he does." I said as we made it to the landing. Fucking stairs. Don't they know short people have short legs?

"Levi!" Eren was waiting at the landing. He threw his arms around me.

"Babe, let me get inside!" I said to him.

"I'll grab the bags!" Eren said excitedly and moved forward to grab them.

"No!" I said, jerking them back. He gave me a hurt look.

"I just want to help." He pouted.

"You can help later, Eren. You can help Levi _a lot." _Armin snickered. I growled at him.

"Get the door?" I asked Eren. He nodded and gave one last curious glance at Armin before holding the door open for us. We really didn't have enough to cause him to need to hold open the door for us, but I wanted him to be able to help us after I hurt his feelings.

"I made dinner while you two were gone! It's only four, I know, but I was bored and you guys were gone…" He bit his sweet pink lips. "Can we have an early dinner?"

"Whatever you want, babe." I said to him as I walked to my bedroom. I set the bags on the bed and Eren leaned against the door frame watching me.

"What did you get?" He asked. I considered telling him he'd find out later and that it was a surprise, but then I realized that I already had a surprise for him. A big, emerald surprise.

"Why don't you put the stuff away in the nightstand for me?" I said casually. I untied the first bag as he walked over to me and looked over my shoulder. I handed him the restraint kit first.

"What's this?" He asked, turning it over and over in his hands.

"Restraints." I said, taking out his purple vibrator. His eyes locked onto it and he gasped. His face flamed red and he started stuttering.

"I-I-Is that? For us?"

"No, Eren, I just bought sex toys for someone else." I snarked, then softened. "Yes, babe, it's for us. If you want to use this stuff, I'm all for it. If not, it's fine-"

"I want to!" He said very quickly. He looked at me wide-eyed before looking down, embarrassed.

"It's okay to be excited about sex. Eren. I'd be disappointed if you weren't." I handed him the cock rings and he tucked them into the nightstand. "I'm excited myself."

"I-I've had so many fantasies about you." He closed the nightstand, leaving the restraint kit on the bed. I would install it later. He reached forward and pulled me into his arms. I tucked my face into his chest and nuzzled.

"Levi," he whispered.

"You wanna tell me about those fantasies now, naughty boy?"

He pulled back and sat on the bed. I sat next to him.

"I want you to restrain me and fuck me." He whispered.

"Good. That's happening tonight, then." I leaned over and kissed up his neck. I reached his ear and whispered, "Go on."

"I want you to use that vibrator on me. I want you to be really rough. I want you to spank me and blindfold me and shove your cock down my throat and-"

"No blindfolds," I murmured against his skin.

"Huh?"

"Eye contact." I said, knowing he would know.

"Oh." He was quiet a moment. "Sorry."

"I'm the one that's sorry. I feel bad that I'm stopping you from living out your fantasies." I kissed up and down his neck while palming him through his pants. He squirmed.

"It's okay. Maybe one day we will work something out, like with the mirror- _Levi._" He whined as I unbutton his pants and slipped my hand inside. He reached out and grabbed the front of my jacket and I froze with my hand on his cock. I had something very important in it that needed to be taken care of.

"Just teasing." I pulled my hand out and buttoned his pants.

"_What?_" He growled.

"Come on, let's eat that dinner you made."

Eren POV

Evil. Levi was evil. I grumbled to myself and set out the plates, trying to will away my semi. Levi had gotten me all riled up with those toys and then touched me and then sent me away to set out the food.

"Fuck him," I hissed, sitting down and adjusting my dick.

"I'm sure you will." Armin snickered as he helped himself to steak and potatoes. I flipped him off before snatching the barbeque sauce away from him.

"Hey!" He said. "That's my favorite sauce!"

"I thought Erwin's cum was your favorite sauce." I snipped at him, not giving the sauce back.

"Man, you are a _bitch _when you don't get to cum." He said. I growled, sneering at him.

"You two need to quit fighting." Levi said as he walked in the door.

"You need to blow me." I growled.

"That might actually solve this problem." Armin laughed.

"Let's just eat." Levi said. "Eren made us a wonderful dinner and let's enjoy it."

Levi didn't hardly eat any of my 'wonderful dinner'. After a while, my dick was soft again and my mood improved.

"You okay? You didn't eat." I asked at he helped me put away the left overs and wash the dishes.

"I'm a little nervous." He admitted.

"About?" I asked.

"Tonight." He said softly. Oh shit.

"Levi, if you don't want to do anything, that's fine. We can even sleep in separate beds. I won't make you do any-" He cut me off with a kiss.

"Oh, I want to play with you. That's not what I'm worried about. Not at all. I know that will be _amazing." _He purred to me as he rubbed up and down my arms.

"What are you nervous about then?" I wanted to help him if I could. Levi took a deep breath.

"I'm going to go install the restraints under the bed. You go watch a movie or something."

"Need some help?" I called to him as he started walking out of the room.

"Armin will help. I'm sure he has one under his bed, too."

"Okay." I said, a little disappointed. I went into the living room and put on something quiet that I didn't pay attention to. I was listening to what was going on in Levi's bedroom. I could heard Armin and Levi talking in hushed voices and occasionally Armin would laugh and Levi would growl. I huffed and crossed my arms. I wanted to be in there with them, having fun. I was sure there was a reason why he asked me not to go in there, though.

After about an hour, Armin came out. He sat next to me on the couch.

"Give him fifteen minutes." He said to me.

"Okay?" I said before huffing gently. Armin laughed.

"I know you're impatient to see your boyfriend, but I promise that it will be worth it." He winked.

"Fine."

"So, since we've got fifteen minutes, let me tell you the story of how that barbeque sauce became my favorite sauce."

"Please, tell me it's not sex related." I groaned.

"What do you think, honey?" He smirked. "So, it was the first time I had ever tried crossdressing. I was there in some fake titties while getting blackout drunk when this guy started hitting on me. Tall, scrumptious little muffin by the name of Nile. I told him I'd drink him up like he was the river Nile, and I did."

"When does the barbeque sauce come in?"

"Don't be fucking rude, hoe. Interrupting my story, geez. Anyway, since you are sooooooooo rude, I'll just skip ahead. So there I am, barbeque sauce all over my fake titties, which are not mine to begin with, and Nile is there, licking the wall-" He sat forward.

"Hold up! You went back too far! Now I'm lost!"

"See, that's why we fucking listen. Now, from the beginning. It was the first time I had ever tried crossdressing…" Armin told me the whole story. I was traumatized, but it did take up the whole fifteen minutes easily.

"…and that's how the ceiling fan broke." He ended the story and looked at me proudly, like I was supposed to fucking congratulate him.

"Fuck." I said, not knowing what else to say.

"Yes, there was that. Did you zone out and miss it? Shall I start over and put special emphasis on the fucking? It was the first time I had ever tried crossdressing-"

"Bye." I said, jumping over the back of the couch and running to Levi's room. Armin obnoxious evil laughter followed me. I knocked on Levi's door, hoping he was done with whatever the fuck he was doing.

"Levi! Save me!" I called out.

"Come in then!" Levi called through the door. I swung it open and my heart stopped.

The whole room was dark except for the candles all around. They were rose scented and gave off just enough glow so that I could see Levi's naked body sprawled out on the freshly made up bed invitingly. He had thrown rose petals all over the room. Soft romantic music played in the background. He had something bright red around his dick. I looked closer and realized it was ribbon tied into a bow. I stepped into the room and quickly shut the door behind me.

I made it five seconds before I doubled over in laughter. "Fuck!"

"Eren?" He sat up.

"Fucking hell!" I started wheezing. I sat on the bed and laughed so hard tears came to my eyes.

"This is how they do it in the movies!" He grumbled. He sighed and started to climb off of the bed.

"No, no, babe." I pulled him back down to me. "Babe, it's nice. I like it."

I pulled off my shirt as he laid back down. I threw it off and then wiggled out of my pants. I started to take off my boxers when I eyed his decorated dick again. I tried to hold it in, but laughter bubbled up my throat and came out with an unattractive snort.

"Fuck the movies and fuck Armin." He growled, his hands moving down to his bow. He grabbed the end of the ribbon and started to tug.

"No!" I cried out. "That's my present, don't you dare open it!"

He tensed, then relaxed. "Okay."

"Armin helped you put this together?"

"Yeah."

"The bow was his idea?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

He waited a moment. "Yeah."

I laughed again, sliding my boxers off. I threw them off the bed with the rest of my clothes.

"Open your present, Eren." He said, and he sounded a bit nervous. I noticed he didn't have a full erection and his hands here clenching the sheets a bit.

"Are you scared?" I asked him, grabbing one of the clenching hands and bringing it to my mouth.

"Yeah."

"You know I won't hurt you, right?" I kissed and licked at his fingers. His eyes darkened.

"Just open the fucking present, Eren."

"I think I like it better on." I raised my eyebrows. "Pretty Levi dick."

"Open it you shitty brat."

I laughed and tugged on the ribbon. It slid off of his dick easily and then something slid off of it. It was small and landed on the bed.

"What the?" I said, searching the bed covers for it. "Levi I lost whatever was on that ribbon."

"This is a god damn disaster and I blame Armin."

"Thanks, Armin." I joked. Then I found it. I held the little object in my palm and squinted at it. When I made out that it was a ring, I gasped. I looked quickly at Levi.

"Wanna do that marriage thing?" He asked nervously, sitting up on his elbows.

"Fuck." I said, flooded with emotions. Levi just proposed to me with a ring on a ribbon around his dick. I loved him and I loved Armin.

"Thanks, Armin." I said, not joking this time.

* * *

I'm in love with Armin. Sorry, Boyfriend Rei.


	21. Husband

remember when this was only supposed to be 5 chapters? now we're on 21 and almost done. I've got at least two more pure smut chapters to go- the mirror and the honeymoon plus the wedding and the pre wedding...so at least 25?

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Levi POV

God damn it, Eren. God damn it, Eren. God damn it, Eren.

"Say something." I begged him. He was just staring at the ring in his palm.

He laughed, sliding off the bed and holding the ring close to one of those vanilla scented candles Armin gave to me for this. He looked at it sparkle in the light and squealed happily.

"_Oh, my god!_" He cheered. "It's _green_!"

That wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I told him to say something. I sat up, pulling the corner of the blanket over my lap. It was cold without Eren on me. "It's emerald. It matches your wedding ring and your eyes."

"My wedding ring! I want to see!" He exclaimed. He slide the ring on his wedding finger and climbed back on the bed.

"Well, see the thing is I don't have that one right now." I said, then quickly added, "I'm going to get that one soon. It wasn't in the ring shop, but it's ordered."

"Good," He held his hand up and showed me the ring on his finger.

"So…That's a 'yes'?" I gave him a nervous smile.

"That's a 'hell yes'!" He pushed me back on the bed and massaged me through the blanket.

"Shy all of a sudden? In front of your husband?" He purred.

"Cold." I explained. It was cold when Eren wasn't on me, but now it was oh so hot.

"I can fix that." He threw the corner of the blanket back down and sat on my lap. He rubbed his hardening cock against my erection and I moaned for him.

"I'm supposed to be the one playing with you tonight, remember?" I asked him, my voice low with lust.

"You still sure you want to play with me? I'm having a lot of fun playing with you." He leaned forward and held my hands down with his own. He moved his hips lazily, teasing my hard cock with his own.

"It's my goal to make you see stars tonight, husband." I growled at him. He smirked at me and I quickly wiped it off his face by rolling us over.

"Levi!" He cried out.

"Lay with your head at the top of the bed." I smacked his thigh. He yelped and the sound was oh so delicious to my ears.

He laid down exactly as I had told him to and I slid off the bed. "If you want to stop at any time, just say so. Of course, I'll also need to see your eyes."

"Sounds good to me." He said.

I went around the bed to the first restraint. I had it installed so the straps came around the top and bottom of the bed. "Give me this wrist." He bit his lip and stretched his left wrist out to me.

I held his soft wrist in my hand and ran my thumb over the sensitive skin on the inside. His legs squirmed a bit and it didn't escape me that he twitched for me.

"Sensitive tonight, are we? I'm just touching your wrist and already that beautiful cock is twitching." I pulled his arm closer and ran my own hardness over his hand. His fingers curled around me and I let him touch for a moment. I pulled away when he started trying to jack me off.

"No, no, not yet…" I purred to him. I grabbed the restraint and held the rough material in my hands. It was rough on the outside, but soft on the inside. It was cool right now, but I was sure it would be warmed against my lover's hot skin. I held it in one hand and used my other hand to tickle his palm. He pulled his hand back.

"Levi!" He tilted his head back and looked at me and I saw the flush in his cheeks. So sweet.

"Give me that hand back, naughty boy." I undid the restraint and waited while he stretched his hand out to me again. "Good boy."

I slid it on and started tightening it. "How tight should I make it?" The set was highly adjustable and I was thankful for that.

"Tighter." He whispered, and I saw him blush harder. I tightened it a little more, slipping my fingers into the space to see how loose it was. Right now I could squeeze three of my slender finger in between Eren's skin and the soft inside. He could slip out if he wanted to.

"Tighter." He said, his voice softer now. I tightened it to two fingers. He would have trouble getting out of it now.

"Tighter," He covered his blushing face with his free hand. I tightened it to one finger then dropped his hand. I wasn't going to tighten it flush against his skin. Not this time, anyway.

"Are you embarrassed because you've just realized how very rough you want it?" I asked him, tightening the length of the strap. Now we had to figure out how much Eren could move his arms.

"Fucking hell, Levi, you already know I'm excited! Don't tease me!" He whimpered, and I saw how hard he was.

"You think this is teasing, just you wait." I kept tightening the strap.

"Levi! God!"

"Tell me when this is tight enough." I said, slowly giving him less and less room to move his arms. When I was about three-fourths of the way there, I started to wonder just how fucking tight Eren wanted it. He spoke up just a little later, though.

"Th-there. That's good."

"Bend your arm for me." I said. He pulled on the restraint and I saw he could move his arm a bit. He couldn't bring his arm down to his side, so he wouldn't be moving around a lot.

"Good?" I asked.

"Y-yeah." He said. He hadn't looked at me in a while and I was getting nervous.

"Eyes, please." I asked, putting a knee on the bed and looking into his face. He met my gaze, blushing hard. His pupils were huge, but I could still see some of the emerald that I loved so much. I searched his flushed face for any signs of pain, but found none. He was okay, so I continued.

I went down to his left foot, tickling it before tightening it. I left one finger of room on his ankle and just enough space for him to bend his knees up and spread wide for me.

"You'll be a good boy and keep your knees bent and not throw your legs around? I would hate to have to leave you all tied up and go buy some more complicated restraints-"

"I'll be good!" He whined.

"Good." I grabbed his right foot, bringing it up to my mouth and kissing his toes before sucking on his big toe.

"Levi!" He whimpered, and his other, already restrained leg moved around. I bit the toe lightly I had in my mouth and he jerked his foot back.

"Naughty boy, no kicking around." I grabbed his foot back and put in the restraints quickly. Now that his little feet were mine to play with, I lightly ran my fingertips over the skin, feeling the change in textures from heel to arch.

"Why are you tickling me?" He asked, wiggling around. "Levi!"

"When I tickle you, you start jerking and your cock bounces around." I said simply.

"Oh my god!" He said, and I could hear the embarrassment in his voice.

I tickled him a little bit longer, watching his precious cock bounce and his muscles flex as he danced around.

"Levi! Cut it out!" He was working up a sweat from my stimulation and his moving around. I saw it gathering on his body and was very pleased.

"Oh? You don't like tickling? Maybe you need a bit of a _rougher _touch." I dropped his foot and quickly moved to his right hand. He gave it to me eagerly.

"Yes, rougher, please!"

I tightened it quickly and climb onto the bed. I tickled up his thighs and quickly followed it up with a few sharp smacks on top of the place I tickled. He gasped.

"Rough enough?" I started tickling his pink thighs again.

"Rougher!" He said, pushing his hips up and present his cute cock to me. I smacked his thighs again.

"Hhhhnnggg," he made the sexiest noises as I kept teasing him with these conflicting sensations.

"Harder!" He cried. "Rougher!"

"How rough? Tell me every dirty detail of your roughest fantasy."

"My-my roughest fantasy?" He looked at me wide-eyed.

"You heard me. Tell me all the dirty things you want me to do to you." I picked his calf up and bent his leg until the restraint stopped further movement. It was enough for him to put his feet on the bed.

"I've always wanted you to tie me up." He whispered.

"Like this?" I said as I did the same thing with his other leg.

"Yes." He said, looking at me from between his bent legs.

"What do I do to you while you're like this?" I kneeled in between his legs and admired the view. He was so beautiful, spread open and tied up for me to play with.

"You fuck me." He watched me as I reached out and massage his pink skin.

"How do I fuck you?"

"You straddle my shoulders and fuck my mouth." He whispered. I froze with my hands traveling up to his neglected cock. I wasn't expecting that.

"You want me to fuck your mouth like this?" I asked him, reaching him and trailing my fingers up his erection lightly.

"Yes! Yes! Levi, please, I want your dick in my throat!" He bucked his hips up to my hand and stroked him for a moment before sliding off of the bed.

"I'll fuck your throat, but first, I think you need something in that tight little hole of yours." I pulled out the lube and his new vibrator.

He looked at it in my hands as I climbed back onto the bed.

"Be a good boy and hold this." I said as I leaned over his body, purposefully letting as much of our sweaty skin touch as possible and pressed the tip of the vibrator against his lips. His little pink tongue licked his lips and got them wet before he opened his mouth. I slid it into his mouth until I heard him gag. I pulled it out just an inch and let it rest there. I checked in with his eyes and saw they were dilated further and held nothing but lust.

I positioned myself back between his legs and lubed up my finger. I smirked at the sight of his red lips oh so perfectly accentuated by the deep purple of the vibrator. I teased his hole with my fingers before I slowly pressed into it.

"Mmmmmmmmph!" He called, not able to make much sound with the toy in his mouth.

I slid a finger in and out roughly, knowing he could take much more but wanting to tease him. He let out a muffled growl before bucking his hips up. I smacked his thigh hard while adding another finger. Fuck, I loved his hot, silky insides. He fucked me back and I glanced up to see him pulling against his restraints. Oh, Eren, just you wait.

I found his prostate easily, having done it many times before. I brushed up against it and he let out a muffled scream. I brushed it harder and harder and he got louder and louder. He tugged against the restraints and arched his back beautifully for me. I ran my free hand up and down his sweaty abs and trembling, still pink thighs. I stroked his hard cock, running my thumb over the head and spreading precum over it. I loved every inch of him. My beautiful husband.

"You've been such a sweet, good boy." I purred to him as I leaned up and grabbed the vibrator out of his mouth. It left a thick trail of saliva from the wet tip to his sloppy spit-covered mouth.

"Levi, please, please, please!" He begged as soon as he could. The movement from his lips cause the trail to break and land down his chin.

"Please what?" I teased him, pressing the vibrator into his hole. He accepted it easily. I left it off for now, fucking him slowly with it.

"Please, make me cum, Levi!" He cried. I angled the vibrator just right and hit his prostate.

"I'll think about it…" I played with his prostate.

"_Please! I want to cum!_" He screamed, pushing his hips hard into the toy. I grabbed his thigh and held it back.

"Nope." I pulled it out. "You still have dick to suck."

"Please, put it back in me while I suck you, Levi!" His hair was sticking to his forehead badly now, and his sweat was dripping down his neck.

"Hmmm…Okay, but if you cum then I won't fuck that greedy little hole." I slipped the toy in all the way and turned it on.

"_Fuuuuuccccck!"_He screamed.

I climbed up his body and positioned myself like he had said. He had to reach for my cock, so I moved forward a little bit more and used my hand to position the tip at his lips.

"Good boy." I said as his mouth fell open. I took my sweet time, loving the muffled buzzing sound of the toy. I rubbed the tip over his open lips, smearing my precum on them like lipstick and shuddered at the feel of his hot pants on my sensitive skin.

"Suck," I commanded. I pushed through his lips and slid a few inches into him. He tightened his lips around me and sucked hard, hollowing out his cheeks.

"Stay like that." I growled, putting my hands in his hair and moving his head back and forth. I didn't gag him, just staying with gentle, shallow thrusts. The pleasure rolled through me in waves and I let my head fall back with a groan.

"Mmmmm…" I tugged on his hair. "Stop sucking and stick out your tongue. I'm gonna fuck your throat."

He relaxed his lips around me and I slipped out. I brought my head back down and looked at him. He looked absolutely wrecked. My precum and his spit were smeared all over his lower face, and his forehead was plastered with sweaty hair. His cheek were red and he was flushed all the way down to his shoulders. Best of all were his giant pupils, almost no green left now, and those hooded eyelids.

He stuck out his eager little tongue and I put the tip of my cock on it.

"That tongue better stay out." I grunted as I slid deep inside his mouth. He gagged before I got all the in and I held his head there. His breath ticked the base of my penis and I was highly aware of how close I was to having him deep throat me. I pulled almost all the way out and pressed back in, letting him gag around me. I did this once more before I pulled all the way out.

"Good boy," I slid down him and straddled his hips instead. I stroked his hair, pushing it off his sweaty forehead. "Sweet Eren."

"Levi," He panted. "You didn't cum in my throat."

"I'm gonna cum in you. Don't you worry." I rubbed on his hard cock and the idea to ride him slipped into my mind. I stored it away for a later date because I promised I would fuck him if he didn't come while sucking me.

"You've been so good for me that I think you should get to cum." I moved down so I could suck him.

"Yes! Please, Levi! Please, let me cum!" He bucked his hips up in anticipation. I pulled the toy almost all the way out. All I would need to do is angle it just a little and I could send the vibrating tip right into prostate. I kept one hand on it and licked my lips before kissing his cock.

"Not yet." I whispered against his flesh before taking him into my mouth. I slid him down my mouth and took it all easily. This was one skill I was glad my years of experience taught me. I moved my hand down and angled the vibrator up on his prostate. He enjoyed it for only a few moments before he was on edge. His entire body tensed and I kept him deep in my throat.

"_Please! Please, Levi!" _He begged. I pulled out the toy before releasing him with a sloppy sound.

"You sound so pretty on edge." I commented as I sat back.

"_Levi!"_ He screamed angrily.

"I'll just let you calm down a minute." I slipped off of the bed and made a show of putting the toy on the nightstand and getting a condom out.

"Maybe this one…or this one…or maybe this one…" I said while picking up different condoms. I was giving him time to come down form on edge so I could put him back on it.

"_Levi, you ram that dick in me right fucking now!_" He growled.

"Mmmmmm, sure… Let me get it ready for you." I got back on the bed. I kneeled between his legs and turned the condom over and over in my hands slowly.

He whined and bucked up. I purposefully fumbled around with the condom while putting it on as slowly as possible. I started teasing his hole by rubbing the head of my cock all around it.

"_I swear to god, Levi!_" He screamed and arched his back. I grabbed his hips and slammed into him as hard as I could. His tight heat suddenly around me took my breath. He threw his head back in a wordless scream.

I gripped his already ravished thighs so tight I was sure there would be bruises and pounded with as much force as I dared. The bed smacked against the wall almost as hard as my skin smacked against his. I listened closely to the wet, sloppy squelching noises his hole made, which were almost drowned out by his screaming.

I felt him clench up around me and I let go of his thighs to fall forward over him. I kept the pace rough and let my sweat fall onto his body. He arched up and made a loud choking noise when he came. His hot spurts hit his stomach and squished in between our bodies as I leaned down to kiss his gasping lips.

"_Good boy_," I growled as I continued slamming into him. His hole relaxed a bit more around me and his body shuddered as he panted.

I knew I needed to cum soon so I focused on how impossibly good he felt. I felt my heart beat in my cock and heard my blood rushing in my ears. I felt my orgasm curl deep in me and I groaned long and low.

"_Eren_," I grunted, tensing on top of him and pouring my cum into him.

I collapsed on top of him in a hot, sweaty mess. I rested my head on his chest while I tried to stop shaking.

"I love fucking you," he whispered shakily to me. He slid his legs down.

"I fucking love you," I said, pushing myself up on trembling arms. I need to get him unrestrained.

"I love you, too, but _man I love that dick_."

I gathered my strength and moved up him to straddle his hips. I leaned over him and grabbed his left hand. I undid the restraint and he immediately bent his arm down to his side and rolled his wrist. I took care of the other one and he repeated the action.

I collapsed back on his chest and he wrapped his arms around me.

"Knee up," I said while patting his right leg lazily, feeling the post-fuck haze set in.

He obeyed, putting his knees up again. I kneeled and reached down to undo his foot.

"Knee up," I repeated the action. Once he was all undid, I fell back on his chest.

"Can we go again?" He asked.

I groaned. "Ask me again in an hour."

I rolled over and curled up. Soon he slid in behind me and spooned me.

"An hour then." He reached his hand over my arm and knitted his fingers with mine. I looked at his ring and felt emotion rise in my chest.

"I love you, husband." I whispered.

"I love you, too, husband." He squeezed my hand and held me close.

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He said yes. Duh. Could any of us turn down Levi? Also, keep an eye out for "...and that's how the ceiling fan broke" a side story about Armin's first time cross dressing and the bbq and wall licking incident.


	22. Armin's Destiny (The fan story)

The story of Armin's fan incident. Ahead there are dicks, bbq sauce, Nile, and, of course, a broken fan. I sprinkled in some ocs for Armin's drag queen friends and twisted some background snk characters for others. I will return to ereri wedding next chapter!

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_Armin POV_

"Call me your fairy drag mother!" Sorum hugged me tight so tight my life flashed before my eyes. It was full of various cakes and rough gay sex. God, I lived well. So well, in fact, that I'd like to keep living.

"Sorum!" I cried out. "Let me go, please!" I wiggled out of his strong, russet arms.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry. Was I squeezing you too tight?" He said, poking at my arms. "Mmmmhmmm, you're just soft enough. You'll look good in a corset."

"Uhhh…" I felt a little awkward as he pushed up my sleeve and felt of my skin. But, I guess that was to be expected. Sorum warned me that it was likely I would feel awkward and weird about everything my first time in drag. He told me I would probably feel a little scared and self-conscious, but not to worry, because he would take care of me.

"Aren't you just as soft as a baby's butt? Oh my, once we get some moisturizer on you, you'll be so soft I'll use you like a pillow." Sorum rubbed his hands up and down my arm.

"Sor! I got that shit for your dance! Don't see why I had to come in a whole three hours before anyone else for it! Still think you shoulda gone with anoth- Who the fuck let a little kid in here?" The man, presumably a drag queen since he was in the back of The Crooked Arrow, said while looking me up and down.

The Crooked Arrow was not my first choice, believe me. It was probably my last choice. It was already low on my list because it was one of the shadier drag clubs in one of the worst parts of town. That wasn't an, um, ideal pairing for my first time doing drag. It was the cheesy name and logo, (a red heart with a, you guessed it, crooked arrow going through it), that knocked it down a spot, and the even cheesier theme nights knocked it down to last place.

However, I had a friend here. Sorum, a drag queen who I had met at the same party where Marlo fisted me for the first time, was my friend and when I told him I wanted to give drag a go, he almost exploded with excitement.

"I'm an adult." I informed the man.

"Uh huh, sure kid. Sor, who let this fucking kid in here? There isn't a queen in this whole god damn building that can babysit his ass. We're all working like hell tonight! Not only is there that fucking party, but it's also Saturday!" He hissed at Sorum.

Saturday was their theme night. "What's it this time?" I asked, already cringing at the answer.

"It's 'Drag on Fire' night." Sorum said, squeezing my shoulders.

"Does it have something to do with dragon fire?"

"Yes! It does!" Sorum smiled wide. "It's dragon and fire themed!"

"Of course it is." I rolled my eyes. So fucking cheesy.

"So, kid, you gonna walk home or is your mommy and daddy coming to pick you up?" The man sat down two big red bottles labeled "REDRUM" on Sorum's vanity counter where he could find room among all the makeup and plopped onto the black couch along the wall behind the vanity tables.

I'm guessing that's what this guy brought for Sorum's dance. Sorum's drag queen name was Rita Rum. When Sorum had told me he had winked and explained "Rita stands for 'Right in the ass', babyface". So, Sorum was dancing with rum tonight. Well, I just had to see this.

"I'm helping you out tonight." I explained.

"He's going to be my baby drag queen tonight!" Sorum cooed to me, hugging me from behind and nuzzling me. I was glad he had yet to put on his face, because I did not want make up smudged in my hair. Not that it would matter, I would be in a wig soon enough.

"This twelve year old is gonna be your _what?_" He shook his head and brought out a pack of cigarettes. "There will be some perverts out there who would just love to spit his bones out when their done with him."

"Good." I shot at him. "I'm into that."

He looked at me shocked and dropped the pack. Sorum laughed behind me, throwing his head back and letting the sound loose.

"Fuckin' hell, little boy." The man ran a hand through his shaggy blonde hair.

"Actually, fucking in hell is a hard limit of mine." I winked at him. "Not that I have a lot of those."

"God, kid. How old are you?" He asked me.

"18. 19 on November 3rd. So, I'm an adult, and that means tonight Sorum is going to be my Fairy Drag Mother."

"Help me with him, Carlo!" Sorum lifted a lock of my hair. "Blonde wig or brown? He would make a sweet little brunette, but the blonde makes him look _so fuckin' cute_."

Carlo squinted hard at me. "You really wanna do this?"

"Yeah." I answered.

"Why?"

"I want to do everything at least once." I smiled at him, "Not to mention, I'm into this."

He sighed. He put his hands on knees and looked at me up and down for a few tense moments.

"Alright, kid. I'll help you-" Carlo started.

"You want to take my Drag Baby away from his mama?" Sorum exclaimed.

"If you take care of him alone, he'll end up in a cotton candy dress looking like a clown did his makeup!"

"If you take care of him, he'll end up looking like Mortica Adams and have no makeup!"

"I'll make him look like a classy queen." Carlo shot back.

"I'll make him look like a fun queen!" Sorum put his hands on his hips.

"How about you both help and I'll be a fun, classy queen?" I suggested.

"Fine, kid." Carlo sat back against the couch.

"Alright. But _I'm _Fairy Drag Mother. Call _him _something else." Sorum said.

"Call me my god damn name." Carlo said, finally lighting his cigarette.

"Come here, Baby, let's pick out your outfit." Sorum cooed to me. "James is just your size. James told me you can use any of his dresses for the night. I went and picked them all up from his house for you, sweets. He's retiring soon, you see, so he doesn't really give a fuck."

"Wow, remind me to thank him." I said as he pulled me over to a table with a bunch of dresses in dress bags and tugged on my jacket. I took it off for him.

"He'll be following you around all night, right Rita?" Carlo called from the couch, stretched out and looking over at us.

"Yeah!" Sorum called.

"So he'll be at the party in the party room? Not the main floor for theme night?" Carlo asked. I looked excitedly at Sorum. I would be in a party!

"Yeah!"

"Then put him Scarlet's teal number! It'll look good with his eyes and shit."

"Ugggggghhhhh! Scarlet's teal number is sooooo conservative, though! How about the tiger print one she wore for-"

"You want him _naked_? Cause that tiger one is basically that." He got off the couch and came over to us. "See kid, this is why I need to be here."

"'Kid isn't my name." I said as the two of them went through the dress bags, taking peeks inside and sorting them into a 'no' and a 'maybe' pile.

"What's the name then?" He said, throwing a bubblegum pink thing that looked like a tutu into the 'no' pile.

"What! That's adorable!" Sorum cried, throwing into the 'maybe' pile.

"Armin." I said to him, stepping forward and placing the awful dress into the 'no' pile again.

"Uh huh. And what will you be a couple hours from now? What's your drag name gonna be? You got Rita Rum right there, I'm Kitty Kat, and we're going through Scarlet Letter's clothes. Pick something."

"You're Kitty Kat?" I asked Carlo, trying not to laugh.

"He wears little kitty ears. It's cute as fuck. All the neko lovers go crazy for it." Sorum told me with a giggle.

"Yeah. I'm Kitty Kat. Wanna fight about it?"

"No! Just can't picture it is all!" I said, waving my hands around.

"He has a little tail and everything! Of course, the tail is connected to a butt plug which stays in his ass until he find someone to take it out and replace it wi-"

"I will smack a queen." Carlo snapped.

"Oh, you want queen smack down? I'll claw your eyes out with these _puuuuuuuurrrrrrr_fect nails, Kitty Kat." Sorum showed Carlo his nails.

"Hey, guys, let's all keep it in our pants. Now, show me the teal dress."

"But it's soooooo boring!" Sorum fluttered his hands around.

"Here." Carlo said, unzipping the dress bag and showing me it. It was a teal corset dress. It had black lace print all over the corset and tiered skirts, which looked dangerously short. There was black piping and a ruffle trim around the heart shaped bust. The bust looked pretty big.

"I love it. Just, um, how do I, uh, fill it up?" I gestured to my chest. "I've tucked and stuff before, but I never even worried about the chest."

"Oh, I've got some titties for you, sweetie!" Sorum said.

"Now that that's done, the shoes." Carlo shot me a look, "You can walk in heels?"

"I'm into this. I've been walking in heels – and doing much more in heels – for some years now. I can easily take 5 inches. That's heel, not dick. I can much more dick than that." I ran a hand down the dress. In a little while, I would be in this.

"I'm sure you can! Hey, Kat, I met this muffin at a party where he was fisted." Solum smacked Carlo's arm lightly. "He's likes it roughhhhh!"

"I'm not even going to acknowledge that." Carlo looked at me with a sigh. "You shave everything?"

"Yeah. Below the head, I'm as hairless as a damn naked mole rat."

"Good." Carlo nodded. "How's your tuck skills?"

"They're eh. I've used gaffs and control tops. I asked Sorum over there for some pointers and he said I should stay away from duct tape for my first time."

"Yeah. They'll be plenty of time for duct tape later. The dress won't even really show your tuck, so if it's meaty," he waved his hands, "who gives a fuck?"

"Good. I've brought my tuck stuff with me, obviously. I also brought some cute black panties that I want to wear over top of everything."

"I want to seeee~!" Sorum sang. I grabbed my bag and opened the front pocket. I handed him my lacy black panties and he held them up.

"Yes, yes…I approve!" He smiled and held them up to Carlo.

"I pegged you as more of a red panty boy, but okay." Carlo said.

"Oh, I am. Fucking Reiner ripped my red panties in half a couple nights ago. Fucker." I took my panties back and put them into the bag again.

"Alright, baby, let's get you all prettied up!" Sorum clapped his hands and lead me to the vanity chair. Carlo followed with a smirk.

"Buckle up, Buttercup." He warned me as Sorum started his attack.

Hours. It took hours. We used up our three hours of alone time and then other queens started filing in, standing around me as I was being put into drag by Sorum and Carlo. After I was mostly done, just lacking the wig, they left me in the hands of another queen so they could get dressed themselves.

"Dee Light." She introduced herself as she started pinning on the long blonde wig.

"I'm, um," I bit my red lip.

"Oh, no, hunny, don't tell you don't have a name yet." She said as I stared at her dress in the mirror. She had on a dress that was a dragon curling around her body. It was beautiful and shimmering in the light of the mirror and I wanted to touch it. She was so pretty and I wondered about myself. Her black hair was straight and cropped into a powerful bob right below her chin. Her golden skin was on display with her makeup full of bold black and red colors.

"I don't." I admitted.

"Well…you're in Scarlet Letter's old teal lace dress, why not Scarlet Lace? Or Lacy Letter?"

"Oh! I like Lacy Letter a lot."

"Alright, then, Lacy, you gonna be in the party room tonight?"

"Yeah! With So- I mean Rita."

"Oh, hunny, Rita can be a hot mess sometimes, but she means well."

"Are you going to be in the party?" I asked her, hoping to have some other people I know there.

"Nope," her pink lips popped the ending, "our fucking boss says all girls who can speak an Asian language have to work the theme tonight. I won't be there with you."

"I'm sorry he's doing that." I said.

"It's not all bad. I can tell all the assholes what I actually think of them tonight."

"What are you bitches over here yapping about? The party is just about to begin!" Rita came bursting in. I gapped at her outfit. It was basically a pink princess dress with most of the length of the skirt missing. It started with a pink satin corset with a white off the shoulder neckline and finished with short satin skirt. Rita's hells were as high as mine with big pink bows on them. The best was the princess tiara, though. It was big and silver and drew attention to her perfectly pinned light brown wig. She threw her long, curly hair over shoulder and giggled at me.

"Don't tell me. I'm damn precious, I know! I'm so glad the guy who booked the party just said for the girls to 'wear their sexiest outfit' instead of picking some boring theme!"

"Rita, I'd like you to meet Lacy Letter." Dee gestured to me, showing off her perfect teeth in a stunning smile.

"_Oh, my god!_" Rita squealed. "You picked it because of Scarlet Letter's dress? I can't wait to tell her she has a little sister!"

"So, you sure you ready for this, Lacy?" Carlo's voice came to me and I spun around quickly.

Carlo's transformation into Kitty was one of the more shocking things I had ever seen. That grumpy, loser looking sad sack who had Cheeto dust wiped on his pants and what looked like dried blood on his shirt, became this _cute _girl. What was normally dirty blond hair was replaced with a long, black wavy wig, and cute little gray fur ears sat on top of her head. Her makeup was a bright red lip, winged liner, and whiskers drawn on her face. She was in a classic lace little-black-dress that had a sweetheart neckline to show off her ample chest and striking collar bones. Her heels were gray like her ears and I couldn't help but look at her smooth, tan legs. Then I noticed something between them.

"God, kid, just ask to see it." Kitty snapped at me.

"See what?" I was honestly confused.

"The tail that's currently in my ass."

"Can I see the tail that's currently in your ass?" I smiled at her. She rolled her eyes and turned around, showing me wear her dress had been up and a gray tail like the ears and heels was pulled through. She wagged her ass at me and it flopped around.

"It's sooooo cute!" Rita clapped her hands.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. It's time to pop Lacy's drag cherry. Come on." Kitty lead Rita and I through the back hallways to the back entrance of the party. Rita held my hand in her perfectly manicured one and I smelled her bubble gum perfume drift around me.

"All you gotta do is smile and be pretty, babe, which I know you can do. You're not here to dance or put on a show for anyone. You don't have to let anyone touch you if you don't want them to, and you can tell us if anyone tries to force you and we can and will take care of it. Stick close to me, have a good time, and try not to get anything on your big sister's dress or my titties, kay?" She leaned in close. "Keep an eye on Kitty, she's magic at this! She turns into the cutest little kitten you've ever seen!"

"I can hear that shit." Kitty held up one gray painted fingernail and flipped us off.

"Can Lacy stay with you when I do my Rita Rum dance?" Rita asked Kitty.

"I guess. If I'm not fucking busy."

"Or busy fucking." I joked.

"Suck my tail." She hissed.

"I'll gladly suck the one in the front." I said.

"Kitty isn't into sex-crazed brats." She insulted me.

"Bad Kitty! Don't make me spray you with water!" Rita laughed.

"Oh, yeah? I'm not afraid of that, since I doubt you can get down from that tower, Rapunzel." Kitty opened the back door and I stepped in.

"You saying I couldn't get a prince to rescue me?" Rita walked past me, already knowing where she was going.

"Yeah, I doubt anyone wants Princess Hunty. I think he'd just cut off your hair and throw it back!"

I stopped listening to them argue as I looked around the room. It was big. A lot bigger than I thought it would be. There was a slight breeze from the large ceiling fan. The walls were all painted red and there was black couches all over the room, some centered around tables and other in front of the stage that was right next to the back entrance. I looked at the steps leading up to it and felt a little small compared to how high that stage was. I shook my head and looked over to the wall opposite of use where the front entrance must be. It looked like a small bar had been set up. It looked very well stocked and I licked my lips.

"Can I have a drink?" I asked Rita.

"Yes!" Rita clapped her hands.

"No!" Kitty said at the same time.

"Well, I vote yes, so that's two out a three, Kitty, sorry." I smiled and started walking over to the bar, where a couple other girls were already gathered.

"Who might you be?" A short girl in a stunning purple dress that complimented her rich brown skin asked me. She had a headband with a gold bow on it in her afro and golden lipstick and heels to match. I looked around at all of the equally gorgeous girls standing around and felt very insecure.

"Arm-I mean Lacy. What's you name?"

"Crystal." She extended her hand to me and I shook it. "Wanna drink? We usually don't, but at parties, we're kind of expected to."

"Yeah. I'll take some-"

"Rum!" Rita said. "Rum for everyone! Just use a whole bottle! We'll charge it to the party, anyway."

"Bitch, you know it! This party is going to be fuuunnnn, too!" Crystal smiled at me. "The guys at this some filthy rich boys here for some bachelor party."

"I'm doing the rum dance for the groom to be!" Rita smiled, handing me some run. Kitty took it out of my hand.

"Lacy is underaged." She said, her tail swaying behind her as she walked away with my rum.

"Bitch, that never stopped you!" Rita called.

"It isn't like The Crooked Arrow is a stand up place to begin with." Crystal handed me another glass of rum. "I'm kind of glad I just work here on the weekends."

"You're just here on weekends?" I asked, not really knowing what else to say.

"Yeah. I really like having fun in drag, but, man, law school is kicking my ass-"

"You're in law school? Holy shit!" I exclaimed.

"You think a drag queen can't go to law school?" She narrowed her eyes at me.

"No! I was just surprised. I'm a bio major myself, I could never handle law!" I tried to make up for offending her.

"Oh." She said, drinking some rum. "It's just that most people assume drag queens all amount to nothing and are trash and all."

"I don't think that at all. I respect you for being in law school, of course, but I also respect you for doing this. It's a lot of work, and it takes a lot of confidence." I looked down. "You're all really, really beautiful."

"You think you aren't just stunning in Scarlet's dress?" She said softly. "Girl, perk up, you are cuter than Scarlet ever was in that dress. Look at those big blue eyes and how good they look with it. Between you and me, Scarlet never could do cold colors. That's why she stuck with, well, scarlet red."

"You're really nice." I whispered to her.

"Gotta make up for all these bitches." She laughed.

"This is my first time in drag." I said, smiling nervously.

"What like at The Crooked Arrow?"

"No. Like ever." I admitted, thankful for the alcohol making its way into my system.

"And Rita's got you in a party? Fucking hell. Look, Lacy, if you get nervous or if someone is groping you too much, find me or Kitty or Rita and we'll take care of it."

"Thanks." I said genuinely.

"Also, see that tall girl over there? The ginger one?" She pointed out a tall, ivory skinned red head in a tight green dress. "That's my best friend, Sterling. There's one other girl here who looks just like Sterling, only in a black dress. That's Silver. Either one of them will take care of you."

"God, thank you. I'm nervous."

"Have some rum and relax. You just sit right there on that couch and some guy from the party will come and talk to you and then maybe he'll go chase another girl and someone else will come talk to you. Just be flirty and have fun."

"Okay." I smiled.

She opened her mouth to say something else, but then the front entrance opened and a group of already drunk men came in. I could hear them shouting even over the music pouring in from the front room.

"Gotta go, my number is up first, Lacy." Crystal waved bye to me and then climbed up on stage. I looked nervously around as Kitty came up behind me and held my hand.

"Just sit over there beside Rita on that couch and be entertaining. Crystal is gonna sing first, then me."

"Hello and welcome to The Crooked Arrow." Crystal purred into the microphone on stage, her voice sultry and very feminine. I wondered what she sounded like out of drag. "I'm going to get this party started."

Kitty pulled me over to Rita as Crystal's song began.

"Watch your drag baby. Make sure she doesn't drink too much or get groped too hard." Kitty told Rita.

"I liked being touched. I'll be fine." I looked at Kitty, but she ignored me.

"Right!" Rita patted the seat next to her on the couch, which conveniently sat three, I noticed. "Want some more rum? Technically, we aren't supposed to drink. No good being all drunk when you're entertaining, but we always break that rule a little, especially for parties."

"Do you drink anything besides rum?" I asked her as I watched some men gather around Kitty and a few petted her tail. She blushed, holding her hands up with her fingers tucked in like paws and swatting the air in front of them playfully.

"Oh, I drink all sorts of things. I like-"

"Hello, there." A tipsy man approached us. Wow, that was fast.

"Oh! Hello, there! Why don't you join us?" Rita moved over a seat and the man collapsed in between us. "What's your name?"

"Nile." He grunted. He looked Rita up and down, then did the same to me. "What's your name?"

"Arm-" I started.

"That's Lacy!" Rita saved me. Man, the name thing was something I would have to get used to. "I'm Rita!"

"Well, you two might be the prettiest little things in this whole building." He said, stretching his arms over both of us. I looked him up and down as he had done me.

He had a black undercut that only covered the sides of his hair, giving him a messy fauxhawk. His skin was fawn colored, and flushed around his face from the drinks he had obviously had earlier and our close proximity. He smelled like smoke and peppermints, which was a smell I associated with much, much older gentlemen like my grandfather, not the young man in front of me. The bolo tie he wore didn't help much in trying not to remind me of a grandpa, but the rest of his outfit was okay. He was wearing a black suit and he had lost the jacket somewhere in the night. Not bad, all in all. I'd bang him.

"Thanks, Nile." Rita giggled.

"Are you the groom?" I asked him, leaning in closer to him so I could talk to him over the sound of Sterling and Silver sings what I believed was a Beyoncé song. God, I could never pull that off.

"God! No! That's Franz. He's marrying Hannah. I have no interest in marriage." He grunted. "Believe me."

"So what are you interested in?" I purred, trying to make my voice feminine like the others could do so well.

"I'm interested in getting drunk and having fun with someone tonight." He squeezed my shoulder.

"Oh, Nile. I'd drink you up like the river Nile. You couldn't handle this." I fluttered my lashes at him.

"Hmmmm..." He looked me up and down, feeling at the soft flesh of my arm and shoulder.

"Why don't you go get some drinks?" Rita looked at Nile, but I could see the nervousness in her.

"Sure. What for you?" He asked me.

"Something cherry." I smiled at him.

"Rum for me, babe." Rita winked at him.

As soon as he walked off, Rita asked me if I was okay.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"You okay with him touching you like that?"

"Yeah. I told you before. I like being touched. He's not too bad looking either." I commented.

"There we go. A cherry vodka and some rum." He sat down in between us again, this time putting his hand on my knee and using the other to gesture as he spoke.

"Yeah, that poor shit over there is the groom." He pointed him out and we looked over him. He had both Silver and Sterling and some other girls I didn't know around him. I looked around until I found Kitty, who was absolutely adorable playing around with the men. I could see why she was popular.

"Oi, Nile, you shit head, give me one of your girls." Another man stumbled over.

"I'll-" Rita started.

"I'm Lacy. I'll go with you." I jumped up, ignoring Nile's frown. Rita could entertain him now, I wanted to meet this tall man. I liked them tall.

We went to another couch and flirted for a while. I finished my cherry vodka and felt the buzz sit in. I let him slide his hand up my leg as people danced and flirted all around us. We got very close to finding ourselves finding a quiet corner to fuck against a wall when Rita climbed up on stage. I noticed the two bottles label REDRUM and a chair in the middle of the stage. I untangled myself from the man and stood near the stage off to the stage.

"It's time for Rita Rum to give a rum dance to groom!" She giggled. The groom, Franz, took a deep breath and then sat in the chair. There were cheers and calls of "Hell yeah, Rita!" and "Go, Rita!".

The music that play was soft and sexual. Rita put the microphone back and grabbed a bottle of the rum. She opened it, sashaying over to him. She stroked his face and went down his chest before suddenly grabbing his hair and pulling his head back. She whispered something to him, and he opened his mouth. She tipped the bottle and poured a stream of rum into his mouth, I watched his Adam apple bob up and down and some rum spill down his shirt. She pulled the bottle back and tilted her own head back, expertly pouring some into her mouth. She placed the bottle on the ground and started dancing on him.

It wasn't the first time I had ever seen a lap dance. It was just the first time I had seen one given by someone dressed a princess. Rita let loose, putting her tiara on his head and slinging her hair around. She teased him, moving very close to his body and licking her red lips.

I took my eyes away from the lap dance to look around for Kitty. Kitty was bent over someone lap and he was playing with her tail. She arched her back like a cat and said something to him. He shivered and I could only imagine what she said.

"I missed you." I husky voice said from behind me as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close to him. I smelled the booze on him and turned my head to see it was Nile.

"You did?" I said, because I didn't really know what to do. I didn't want to fuck Nile as drunk as he was. Unless, of course, I was as drunk as him.

"Yeah." He slurred, moving my hair out of the way and kissing my neck. Well, he tried to, anyway. It was drunk and slobbery. Being the dirty little thing I was, I liked it a lot.

"Get me a whole bottle of cherry vodka and meet me at that door." I pointed to the back entrance. I would drag him into the supply closet.

"Yeah." He stumbled away. I watched him head toward the bar.

"You gonna fuck that man?" Crystal asked, nearly completely sober, and looking a bit worried. "He's not trying to push you into anything you don't want, right? I'll slide my heel up his urethra."

"I want him. You should be more worried about him, honestly, I'm a fucking animal when I fuck. I'm gonna have fun with him. I'm gonna get beyond shit faced first, though." I laughed.

"You go, girl," She laughed, pulling me into a quick hug before letting me go.

"I'm taking him into the broom closet. If I'm not back by 3, go get Kitty or Rita and tell them I'm in trouble."

"That's three hours of fucking." Her eyebrows shot up.

"I know what I'm about, hun." I felt a little bit of pride in Crystal's laugh.

"Ayyyy, yoooooo, we got a present for Franzie," came over the microphone. "It's a diiiiiiiccccckkkkkkk."

We all looked at the drunk man on stage, and I noticed Rita's dance had been quickly cleaned up. A girl I hadn't met yet brought out a big box and set it on stage.

"Come on, up, Franzie, and get this dick." He pointed a lazy finger at Franz, who climbed back up on stage again.

He pulled off the top and the box fell open. It was, indeed, a dick. It was the biggest dildo I had ever seen in my whole life, and I had seen a lot of huge dicks. It had to be at least twenty inches and was so wide I didn't even estimate it. It was also bright fucking red, which I was into.

"Little small for you, right, Franz!" A man from a couch not too far away screamed. We all snickered.

"Fuck you-" Franz started to say before he was cut off by a huge crashing sound and a pained cry. We all looked to the bar where the cry came from. Nile slowly stood up, holding his head. I looked at the section of bar in front of him and saw how everything had been knocked out of the way. Nile had climbed over the fucking bar.

"Way to go, Nile!" one of his friends called out.

The girl working the bar fluttered all over him, violently cursing in a language I didn't recognize. He grabbed a bottle of cherry vodka and flipped her off. Well, at least he's cute.

I headed over to Kitty on my way to the back entrance. I told her my plans while she swatted some grabby hands away from trying to pull out her butt plug.

"I like it _in. _Unless there is a _hard, thick cock _going in instead." She hissed at him.

She turned to me then with an exasperated expressing. "_Lacy_."

"I'm gonna suck him so hard he dies and his fucking ghost -"

"Lacy-"

"comes out his dick and starts trying to take me on a tour of my Christmas past, present, and future."

"Oh, my god." She threw her hands up. "Lacy, no."

"Lacy, yes."

"_Lick the dick! Lick the dick! Lick the dick!_" The crowd suddenly started chanting and I looked up from my conversation to find someone had covered the toy on stage in god damn barbeque sauce and now the crowd was trying to get Franz to lick it. I just turned to Kitty with a shocked look on my face.

"Why?" I asked.

"'Why not?' the motto around here." She sighed. "The stories I could tell you."

"_Lick that meat!" _someone cheered, and then the sauce made sense.

"I'm gonna lick the dick." I told Kitty.

"Hoe, don't do it." She grabbed my wrist and her eyes got wide.

I jerked out of her hold and started to the stage on a mission. I had just enough time to hear her say, "_Oh, my god."_

"It's my destiny!" I called to her. It is my destiny to lick a barbeque covered dick on a stage in front of a bunch of drunk men and drag queen while also in drag myself. It wasn't so before, but as I said the words, it became so. I knew now without a shadow of a doubt that I belonged on that stage cleaning that giant dick with my greedy little tongue.

I dashed up on stage and pushed Franz out of the way. The men cheered loudly, jumping up and down while the girls looked around and asked other who I was. I kneeled down in front of the dick, like I had done so many times before. I spread my legs to slide down further and leaned forward. The smell of the barbeque sauce was potent in the air.

"_Hell yeah, Lacy!"_ A voice that could only be Rita's called.

"Lacy! Lacy! Lacy!" The crowd chanted, men and queen alike.

I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the head. The cold sauce smeared all around on my lips and I shivered. I pulled back and licked my lips, tasting the tangy sauce once before I gave my all to it. I licked it up and down, smearing the sauce all over my fake tits and dress. Sorry, Scarlet, but this is my calling.

I licked it in earnest until the tip and some inches were clean. I aimed the tip into my mouth and took it as deep as I could, the barbeque making a mess of my face and hair. I sucked on the dick while Franz shuffled off stage and sat back down on a couch. I loved the feeling of the wet, sticky mess on me. It reminded me of so many good times.

"Lacy!" Nile screamed and I whipped around to see him swinging the bottle of vodka around, showing me he had it. "Come on."

"Let the girl work!" A man called to him.

"Fuck you, you wanna fight!" Nile raised the bottle into the air and smashed it against the wall.

"Nile, you jack ass! That was perfect good vodka!" the same man called.

"I'll get it!" he slurred, leaning against the wall and licking at the wet spot the vodka had left. I just stared at his drunk ass licking the wall.

"Way to go, Nile!" Franz called from the couch he was sitting at, which was a mistake. The attention drifted back to Franz. The man who was on the stage with me, the one who had announced the gift, pointed at Franz.

"He didn't lick the meat! He's running away from it!"

"Franz! Franz! Franz!" The crowd started, and I gestured to the dick, offering him some. I didn't want to share my barbeque covered monster dick destiny with him, but he was getting married soon, and I wanted to be nice.

"You can run from the cock, but you can't hide from the cock!" The man said and then a horrible screech came out as he dropped the microphone. The man lifted the dick up in his hands by its massive balls and took it away from me. He held it over his head and shook it, the cock wiggling back and forth and slinging sauce on the stage. Then, it happened.

He stepped to the edge of the stage, and the queens, probably having seen this before, ran out of the way. The men didn't see it until it was too late for most of them to get away. The man threw the giant sauce covered dick off the stage with a throw so mighty, he grunted loudly. My mouth dropped open as I watched its short, but majestic flight up, up, up into the air… and right into the ceiling fan. The dick slammed into the fan with all of its heavy, sauce covered glory and the fan made a sick crunching noise before it came down to the ground. The fan blades, and fan parts, and the giant red dick crashed to the ground, nearly missing Franz and the other men in the center couch. They all screamed and dove out of the way.

For a few tense moments, everything was quiet except for the sound of the music from the main room and the background music here. Franz and others panted and looked over their bodies for injuries. The man who had thrown the dildo looked at the mess for a second before he roared with laughter.

"Way to go, Dominic!" Someone screamed.

So there I was, barbeque sauce all over my fake titties, which weren't even mine to begin with. Nile was still licking that damn wall. The dildo that had brought down the fan was still saucy and amongst a rumble of fan. My hair was sticking to my face with that sauce, and I had had so much of it that I felt like I was going to puke. Still, despite all that, I laughed until I cried and my mascara ran down my sauce smeared face. In the end, I had taken Nile into the back and set a record for the most times I had someone jizz in my eye in a single night. It was one of my best nights.

* * *

I'm still going to publish this as a separate work because it will be the only nile x armin and I think thats cool.


	23. Reflection

should I add a warning for smut? If youve read all the way to ch 22, then you should know that there's ereri porn. Anway, warning: smut

* * *

Eren POV

The house a flurry of activity for the wedding. We weren't going to have a big ceremony, but that didn't mean we weren't busy. It was a handful getting ready for just our small party and remembering to do everything needed legally. It would be fun when it was all said and done, though. We had both thrown our hands up in air and decided to do whatever the fuck we wanted with the wedding, including making Armin the flower _boy, _Mikasa the ring bearer, and walking down the aisle together.

"They never showed this part on tv. This sucks." I grumbled as I addressed yet another wedding invitation.

"You're the one who wanted to address them all out instead of just handing them out. I mean, you just addressed an envelope to Annie. She lives with Mikasa. Levi fucking works with her. He can give them both their invitations- Wait, why do you have invitations for both of them? Just write Annie and Mikasa on the envelope-"

"_Armin_," I whined, "it's _special._"

"Then don't complain about- Is that an envelope addressed to Armin Arlert?" He eyed his name written on one of the finished envelopes.

"Maybe." I said, blushing a bit. It was silly, I know, but I still wanted him to 'receive an invitation'.

"Eren, you do realize that I am right. Fucking. Here." He gestured to himself then leaned over and touched me. "Three feet away."

"_Special,_" I whined again, ignoring Armin when he rolled his eyes.

"Are you going to be one of those bridezillas? The ones that go out of control?" He asked. "Cause that's what it's looking like."

"I'm a groom and no, Armin, I'm going to be fine." I paused. "I know I wanted a big wedding with all the flourish involved, but I'm reigning it in. A small, private ceremony with someone I truly love is enough."

"So…I can't help but notice that almost all of these invitations are for your friends…Does Levi not have many people to come?"

"No. He says he had to get a whole new group of friends when he quit drugs. He's not good at making friends in the first place, which means that he only has a few people. Like this one, 'Petra and Olou'. Those are his friends." I set their envelope aside and moved onto the last, and final, one.

"You know, he was planning on having a long engagement with you, but through that idea out once the process got started." Armin smiled. "He may seem all grumpy and stoic, but I could see the emotion in him when he talked about marrying you."

"He loves me." I smiled, then remembered how he proposed. "Also, thanks for the ribbon dick proposal. That was…very Armin."

"I'm one classy motherfucker." He winked. "I knew you'd love it."

"Oh, I loved it alright!" I laughed. "If you know what I mean."

"Eren Yaeger! Did you just make a gay sex joke? I'm so proud! My baby is growing up!" He waved his hands around and pretended to get teared up.

"I'm getting more comfortable talking about it now, yeah."

"Does that mean you're comfortable enough to tell me the sloppy details of your banging? Oh, have you mirror fucked yet?"

"No, you don't get details, and no, we haven't mirror fucked yet." I frowned. "He's… waiting for some reason. I've brought it up a few times, and he always distracts me from it by tying me up or doing something else sexy."

"Maybe he's waiting for something specific." Armin gave me a mischievous grin.

"Armin, do you know why he's waiting?" My eyebrows shot up.

"We talk. Just like you come to me and drunkenly ramble about everything you want Levi to do to you, Levi comes to me, sober, I might add, with his possible concerns and worries."

"He can tell me that stuff. I'm the one whose ass he's banging." I grumbled.

"He doesn't want to spoil the surprise." Armin looked like he was thinking something over for a second. "I mean, unless you want to surprise him."

"What do you mean?"

"If I tell you his surprise, you can do it before he does and then you can surprise him." Armin grabbed my hands excitedly.

"Does it end in me getting fucked?"

"Yes."

"Then, by all means, yes. Let's do that. Right now." I bobbed my head up and down.

"Alright, how do you feel about panties?" Armin asked, squeezing my hand.

"Armin. I don't want to hear the fan story again-"

"That's not what I mean!" He gave me an offended look, "And, for the record, I know you want to hear it again because I, Armin Arlert, am a damn delight and my adventures as Lacy Letter, a sophisticated lady who is a force to be reckoned with, are just as delightful."

"Adventures? Plural?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I may have gone back to The Crooked Arrow one or two more times." He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly.

"Armin." My voice was disbelieving.

"I might have been on the payroll for a little while…" He shrugged again.

"Armin." I sighed.

"That's not the point here. The point is that Levi was waiting because – Look, go in Levi's closet and find the gift bag in the corner. That's why he's waiting to fuck you in the mirror." He looked at the list of things we needed to do for today and then looked back at me. "You have how long until he's back from work?"

"Uh, he gets off at midnight tonight, so…" I glanced at the clock, "thirty minutes."

"Good, go get the gift bag and then get ready. There's not really that much left for us to do, so let's save it for tomorrow. I'm gonna go to Erwin's for the night."

"You don't have to leave."

"I want to. I want you to be able to be as loud as you need to." He smiled as he stood up. "Besides, I'm going to be doing the same thing you are."

"I'm sure." I laughed, then gave him a hug goodbye. I had the self-control to wait until he was out of the door before sprinting to Levi's room. I threw open the closet door and quickly found the gift bag in the corner. Only thing is, it wasn't a gift bag. It was a sale bag from a place called "Rose Lingerie".

"Holy fucking shit." I looked around for another bag, but this was the only one. This had to be it. I peeked in the bag and saw different colors of lace. God. He wanted me to watch myself get fucking in lingerie. I bit my lip as the images of it flashed through my mind.

I dumped the contents of the bag out on the bed and separated the different pieces. I felt a blush creep up my face as I held up a lacy black pair of panties. I held up each piece, wondering if my masculine body would even do them justice. I pictured myself in each piece, and got so absorbed in my head that I jumped when my phone buzzed in my pocket.

From: The Pervert

_If you want to go a little further, there are some kitten heels in my closet. I wouldn't suggest you go with my heels, though, your weak little ankles would break._

To: The Pervert

_I'm not wearin heels n with the way this is going, I might not wear anything at all. _

From: The Pervert

_What's wrong? I can help. I mean, I'm wearing panties right now. Until Erwin gets a hold them, that is. _

To: The Pervert

_Armin man. I just don't know what to wear. Theres a lot of lace and its confusing. _

From: The Pervert 

_Green baby doll _

To: The Pervert 

_The green dress thing? _

From: The Pervert 

_Don't forget the panties_

To: The Pervert 

_What if I look silly and he laughs_

From: The Pervert 

_Then you tie him up, get my heels, and punish him like the bad boy he is ;) _

To: The Pervert 

_Fuck you man. _

Then, a second later, I added:

To: The Pervert

_He told u why he has to have eye contact right? _

From: The Pervert 

_Yeah_

To: The Pervert

_What if he freaks out and I can't calm him down?_

From: The Pervert 

_Then you call Hanje. For what's it's worth, I think you'll look smoking hot and you two will have banging mirror sex and everything will be great. _

To: The Pervert 

_Thanks man. I love you dude _

From: The Pervert 

_Don't make it gay Eren. _

I chuckled at his last text then held up the baby doll. I walked to the dresser and looked at myself in the mirror. It was a sheer hunter green with black lace around the neckline. It stopped right near my belly button and was very loose and swishy. Could I really pull this off? I took a deep sigh and set it on the dresser before me while I took off my clothes. I slipped on the baby doll and looked at myself in the mirror.

I turned side to side and looked at myself in all angles. I bit my lip as I looked at myself. I thought I looked silly. I took a deep breath as insecurity came over me. I tried to remain optimistic, grabbing the panties and slipping them on to see if they would make me feel any better. I played with the little bow on the front of the panties while I looked at myself again. I swallowed hard as more insecurity and embarrassment came bubbling up.

How was I supposed to watch him fuck me in this when I felt bad looking at myself? It was something he wanted though. I closed my eyes and turned away from the mirror. If he could step out of his comfort zone, then so could I. I clenched my fists and tried to be brave as turned toward the mirror again.

"You are sexy and strong and you are going to get fucked all night long." I told myself. I saw myself nod, then I walked over to the bed and cleaned up the other lingerie, placing them back in the bag and then back in the closet. The fabric moved all around me as I walked and I have to admit that I enjoyed the tickling sensation.

I climbed onto the bed and waited. Levi would come in any minute and head straight for the shower as he always did. Then he would come in here and see me and then, hopefully, he would find me sexy. I didn't know what I would do if he didn't. I guess I would just take it off and then we could try it naked.

I stayed laying on the bed in my new outfit fretting over how I looked until I heard him come home. My breath caught in my throat when I heard him come in and start the shower up. I slid off the bed and decided to look at myself one more time in the mirror. I bit my lip as I saw once again as I started picking out my insecurities once again.

I looked down at the dresser and noticed how there were still my old clothes as long as a few things on it. Those would have to be moved it I was going to get fucked on it. I busied myself with moving everything and tried not to think about how any minute Levi would be strolling in here in nothing but a towel. I was bending over, moving some shoes to the space beside the nightstand instead of the space beside the dresser when I heard his sharp inhale.

I quickly straightened up, fumbling around and trying to cover up myself while he stood in the open doorway, towel wrapped around his waist, and stared at me with wide eyes.

"I-I-I," I started stuttering, feeling my face heat up with my blush. His eyes were focused on the little green panties and I had to stop myself from covering my bulge up. This was my husband for crying out loud. I shouldn't feel so fucking embarrassed.

"Armin is gone!" I rushed out my first complete sentence. Levi's eyes snapped up to my face and I shivered at how dark and lustful they were.

"Good," He said, his voice low. He threw the towel away with a flick of his wrist and started to stalk toward me. I tore my eyes away from his and looked down at his cock. I gulped when I saw that he had already started to react to me. I looked down quickly, embarrassed, as he came over to me and kissed my cheek.

"What's wrong?" He whispered roughly into my ear while slipping a hand under my baby doll to rub my back. His fingers danced up my spine and I shivered.

"I-I look-"I swallowed and hugged myself tighter. "I'm not sexy."

"You really think that?" He put his hand underneath my chin and pulled it until I looked at him. "You really think you're not utterly edible in this?"

"I look silly." I said as eyes bounced around his face, looking at his wide pupils and parted lips. He dropped his hands and grabbed mine, pulling them off of my shoulders and revealing all of me. I let him put one had down to his cock.

"Then I guess I'm sexually attracted to silly things." He pushed into my hand and then kissed on my arm. "I'm going to show you sexy you are to me tonight." He let go of me to feel me through the panties. My breathing picked up as my cock started to strain against the lace panties.

"Yes," I moaned to him as my muscles started to relax. Then, his hands were gone. I made a protesting noise in my throat.

"Let me grab some lube." He walked over to the nightstand and opened the drawer. I walked over to the dresser and waited. He tossed the lube onto the dresser and moved behind me. He stood behind me, looking at us both in the mirror and slowly slid his pale hands over my stomach.

"What a sweet thing you are…" He purred as his touch got rougher, grabbing at my hips. "Armin's gone so I want to hear your voice. All of it, don't hold back a single sound. Understand?"

"Yes," I whimpered, my face and shoulders starting to flush.

"Another thing," he pushed me forward and I moved toward the dresser for him. "I want you to look at yourself the entire time. Don't take your eyes for a single second. If you do look away or try to hold in your noises, I will stop what I'm doing and leave you aching. Got it?"

"Yes," my breath hitched as I saw his hands move toward my panties in the mirror. I felt the warm, calloused hands on my cock a second later.

"Let's get this sweet dick out in the open so we can see what a naughty boy you are." He pumped my cock lazily with one hand. "Pull down the panties just enough to expose yourself. Leave them on your thighs."

I watched my trembling hands hook under the band and slowly pull them down, revealing the sight of Levi's hand on my hard cock. I left the panties on my thighs like Levi had asked. He let go of me and pushed me forward some more. The panties pulling and stretching on my thighs made it a bit awkward to walk, but that wasn't what I was paying attention to. My eyes were glued on my own cock as it moved and my cheeks lit up. Levi stopped me when we were as close as we could get without my panties disappearing from view. He wanted me to see them. Levi grabbed my hand and brought it down to my erection.

"Look at that, Eren," my name rolled sensuously off of his tongue, "you're already so hard and we've just begun. Such a horny boy…You like this, don't you? Looking at yourself about to be fucked. Tell me what you see, Eren, describe how sexy you find yourself to be."

"I-"I swallowed hard as he started rubbing my thighs. I watched his sharp gray eyes find mine in the mirror and swallowed hard. It was like I was in two worlds of pleasure instead of the usual one. I had a world of pleasure of his hands on me and then another one that was the visual of us in the mirror. It was erotic in a new and thrilling way that I almost found overwhelming. "I-I can't."

"Nothing to say, Hmmmm? I'll tell you what I see then. I see lots and lots of blushing tan skin and green lace. Look, Eren, see how it matches those beautiful eyes? And look at this," He lifted the baby doll up and dug his nails across my abs, leaving red marks behind. "Look at how beautiful you look with my marks. Do you see?"

"Yes, Levi," my mouth was going dry as I started panting. I could feel the tingles from his scratch spread over my skin and I shivered. He reached up further and put his hands on my nipples.

"Watch your face." He instructed and I moved my eyes from my stomach up to my face. When he saw I was making eye contact with myself, he pinched my nipples and pulled them hard. I gasped, my red lips parting slightly, and my eyes widened. "So sweet for me. I love the way you always open that hot little mouth of yours when I tug on your nipples. But the best is the face you make when you orgasm. I'll make sure you watch yourself when you finally let it all go for me. Would you like that, Eren? Would you like to watch yourself fall to pieces?"

"Yes, Levi," my voice sounded breathless and I wanted to reach down and touch my throbbing cock, but let him have the control. "Levi…I want- I – Can I touch myself?"

He chuckled darkly. "Watch yourself fuck your hand." He kissed up and down my arm as I grabbed myself and started pumping. I saw my cheeks burn brighter and my eyes widen before my gaze fell down to my hand working up and down myself.

"I said fuck your hand." Levi gave me a smack on outer thigh that made me yelp with pleasure. "That means hold your hand still and move your hips." He wrapped his own pale hand around my tan one and held it still as I started rocking into it. Levi's body behind me prevented me from slamming into our hands like I wanted to but the heat radiating off of his body made it worth the gentler pace. I watched my abs and hips move in time and saw the sheer fabric rippling around my body. I had to admit that I was feeling sexier and sexier looking at myself.

He suddenly pulled my hand away and I was left thrusting into the air. "Levi!" I whined.

"Look at your cute little cock, Eren." He said and he grabbed it and ran his thumb over the head to show me my precum had started to come out. "Look at that wet little slit. Rub your thumb over it."

"Yes, Levi," I brought my eager hand up to it and spread the precum around on my tip, shuddering at the feeling. I whined as Levi pulled my hand away again. "Levi!"

"Put it on your lips. Coat those soft red lips with your own precum." He ordered, his commanding voice making my heart race harder. I reached my hand up and watched as I wiped the clear liquid on my panting lips.

"Good boy," He purred to me. "Now bend down for me." He pushed on my spine and I bent down, putting my hands on the dresser. My cock throbbed hot with need and I broke a little. I looked at him over my shoulder.

"Levi," I begged him, "Please, let me fuck my hand again!"

"I thought that you were going to be a good little boy for me, but now look. You've gone and broken a rule. Only two rules, Eren." He grabbed my hair and turned my head roughly back the mirror. His roughness and the pain in my scalp made my knees weak. "What were they?"

"That I should n-not hold my sounds in, and that I should look at myself th-the whole time." I liked the look of his pale hand twisting my dark hair roughly a little too much. I moaned as he smacked my ass suddenly, the sound of it mixing with slap in the otherwise silent room.

"I'll give you one warning. The next time you do it, I'll leave you all alone. Is that what you want? Do you like being a bad boy?" He asked, massaging my ass. "Hmm? Do like breaking my rules?"

"Yes," I breathed, challenging him. His gray eyes flicked sharply to mine in the mirror.

"Is that so?" He dug his nails into my flesh and I bit my lip. "You like being punished, don't you?"

"God, Levi, fuck me!" I cried, my ignored cock throbbing between my legs. "Please!"

"That's not what I asked. Answer me, Eren." His feral growl was enough to make my brain go fuzzy. He pulled my hair again and I dug my nails into the wood of the dresser.

"I like being a bad little boy, Levi! I'm your bad little boy! I like being a bad little slut because you always smack me! I want you to smack me over and over and make me beg for you! I want to shove into my cock hungry ass over and over again until you cum me full!" I watched my mouth open and close and heard my screams but didn't put together that it was me saying those dirty things.

Levi grabbed my hair and pushed me roughly forward. "Hands on the mirror. Spread those legs." I slid onto the dresser more and put my hands against the cold glass of the mirror. I spread my legs and much as I could with the panties still on me.

"I'm not taking those panties off of you, naughty boy, so you better arch that back up and present that hole to me." He growled to me and I shivered in lust. His voice made my whole body get excited. My every part knew this voice; this was the voice that whispered "I love you" in my ear when I orgasmed.

I whimpered and arched up for him, trying to get myself into the position he wanted.

"On your tip toes, arch more." He swatted my outer thigh again and I moaned at the pain. I loved it when he smacked me. I hesitated a second too long and he added, "Now, Eren. If you want that hole fucked, then you do it now."

"Levi," I whimpered to him, going up on my tip toes and arching back for him. I watched his arm extended out in the mirror and then cross into my peripherals. I started to turn to look at what he was doing, but then I stopped. I made eye contact with myself again, not wanting to run the risk of him leaving me aching like he had told me he would. I heard him uncap the lube and a second later I watched my eyes go even wider as his slick, cold fingers pressed against my hole. He pushed inside roughly, and I moaned as he stroked my insides.

"How many fingers are in you?" He asked, using his other hand to massage at my erection. My vision of my face started to blur as my eyes unfocused and the pleasure mounted inside of me, making me feel like I was going to combust. My lips fell open with a deep groan and I moved my hips back and forth, fucking on him two ways. My hands slipped down to the wood of the dresser, my heated skin leaving lingering foggy imprints in the glass. I didn't answer him, I just kept desperately rutting.

"Bad boy," He pulled his fingers out and let go of my cock. He smacked my thigh hard and I dug my nails in harder. "This time tell me how many fingers." He pushed the fingers in me roughly and I cried out in pleasure.

"T-two," I said, desperately hoping to cum. He dipped his head down and kissed my spine.

"Good boy. Would you like another?" He whispered into my flesh.

"Please." I tried to control myself from slamming my ass back onto his fingers.

"Beg for it." He leaned over and whispered in my ear, his lips just brushing the shell, before his tongue danced out and flicked over it.

"Please! Please, Levi! I _need _more! Please give me more!" My cries were frantic.

He bite my ear before pulling back. "Is that how you're going to beg for my cock? Because if it is, you won't be getting it."

"But, Levi, I need it!" I started to look back at him, but remembered his warning earlier and kept my eyes trained on my wrecked face. I was already falling to pieces and I hadn't even cum yet.

"I don't believe you need it enough. Maybe I should get out the vibrator, hold it against that sweet prostate of yours and make you edge a-"

"Please! Levi, please give me more! My little hole needs you to fill it up! I'm burning up inside! Please, Levi, take my slutty little ass!" I choked up as he added another finger and slammed them into my prostate.

"Is that enough, my sweet boy, or do you need more?" He purred to me.

"More! I-Nnnnghh – I'm close! Please, let me cum! Let me cum for you, Levi!" I rasped, shaking on my feet as they started hurting from holding me up. I couldn't support my weight like this for much longer, but like hell I was dropping before I came.

"What was that you asked for, Eren? I couldn't hear you over all these sloppy, wet noises your greedy little ass was making," He fucked me with his fingers harder and my vision blurred again. "Mmmmm, this slutty little hole is just swallowing my fingers up. I wonder what it would do with my cock, hmmm?"

"Please! Please! Take me! I'm yours, Levi! I'm your bad little slut! I love your cock and I want it in my ass! Please! Please! _Please!" _I begged him.

"Reach back and hold your ass open wide for me." He growled.

I took my hands off of the dresser and reached back, grabbing the meaty flesh of my ass and spreading it for him. My arms pressed tight to my sides and I felt the sweat squish against my heated skin. It was harder to keep my head up now, but I didn't dare let my gaze drop from my own image.

"Look at how sexy you are, husband," his voice was intoxicating. "Look at that wild mess of chocolate hair, and those eye…is there even any green left? Pupils so wide and black with animalistic lust… That skin… so sweaty and flushed. You've soaked your pretty lingerie. You're wound so tight you're about to combust, aren't you?"

"Yes, Levi!" I was breathless as he rubbed his head against my hole. I looked up from my own lustful expression to see Levi's muscled form standing behind me. He was looking down at me. His other hand reached over and grabbed my hip.

"If you want my cock-"His lips moved in the mirror.

"Yes!" I cried and his sharp gaze snapped up to me.

"Then take it."

I needed no further invitation as I dropped down onto my full foot and rocked back onto his cock. I pushed hard against him and took his tip into me. From there it was easier, and I pushed his hard length into my tightness. I watched him in the mirror instead of myself as he rolled his hips against me, leaning his head back and exposing his long, pale neck. I watched his Adam's apple bob deliciously as he swallowed and then moaned for me. It gave me such a thrill to hear how I affected him.

"Levi, please," I begged him in a breathy whisper. It was much softer than my previous yelled begs, but this one worked immediately. His head came down and he met my eyes in the mirror before reaching forward and grabbing my hips. I let go of my ass and instead used my hands to support my upper body. I spread my legs as wide as I could, the panties digging painfully into my thighs.

It was a good thing I did, too, because Levi's thrusts were powerful and relentless. They drew cries of pleasure from my throat that were louder than the sound of our flesh slapping together and the squelching noises my slick hole was making. Levi leaned over me, his pants tickling my spine, and his sweaty hair falling over his bowed head.

"Levi, fuck, fuck, fuck," I chanted. My heart beat was in my heavy cock now, and I was close to cumming. "Please!"

"Look at yourself. Now, Eren, look at your face as I fuck the cum right out of you." He commanded with a sharp jerk of his hips. He grabbed my hair with one of his hands and tilted his head up a bit so his intense gray eyes could watch my face, too. "Burn the image of your ecstasy into your mind. See it every time you close your eyes. I know I do."

I looked over the wrecked creature in the mirror before me. His hair was wild and dark and what wasn't painfully wrapped in his lover's pale hand was plastered to his forehead with sweat. The sweat dripped down his flushed face, and his skin glowed warmly with his feral desire. His red cum covered lips were parted with his wanton pants and saliva slipped from his hot mouth and left a trail down his chin. His hooded eyelids revealed only part of his wide black pupils and the thin ring of bright green around them. It almost didn't click for me that this was me. My brain was so full of the desire to cum and my body was so overwhelmed that I couldn't think about anything. I was so close….

"_Levi!_" I couldn't take it anymore as the fire pooling in my belly suck lower and lower. "_Fuck!_"

"_You better cum right now_," Levi rasped, his desperation starting to rival mine. I needed no more encouragement as my whole body tensed. My body dissolved into pleasure as my mind went blank for a few seconds. The orgasm ripped through me, shuddering violently up my spine, and out of my mouth in a scream. My cum splatted onto the dresser and floor. I convulsed around him as he kept on plowing me right through my orgasm, only to cry out a string of curses before hunching over me with a grunt. I clenched around him so tight I was sure he could feel my pulse from inside and he made a strangled choking noise. I felt his hot spurts inside of me as a shook, glad for the support of the dresser.

He pulled out of me with a gross, wet sucking noise and his cum started to leak out of me. I whimpered as he sunk onto his knees behind me. I tried to push myself up but my shaking muscles wouldn't cooperate. I fell down to my knees beside of him, cum slopping out of my hole and falling onto the panties and carpet. I leaned heavily against his sweaty shoulder, feeling our shuddering pants match in time. I felt so sticky and overheated in this lingerie. I reached to the panties with a shaking hand but found my strength still hadn't returned fully.

"Are you okay?" His breathing was a lot calmer now. He was recovering faster than I was, so I hoped he would help me.

"J…just get m-me on the bed," I breathed unsteadily to him. It took him a minute, but he got us there. He laid me down on the bed and stripped of my ruined lingerie, tossing it into the corner. My head lolled to the side and I just tried to relax as he came up on the bed and sat beside me.

"You- Eren, are you okay?" He sounded worried. "Did I hurt you?"

"Fucking perfect," my voice was still a little slurry to my ears. He reached out and rubbed at the bright red marks the panties had left in my outer thigh.

"I didn't mean to get that rough with you," his voice was quiet. I didn't like it.

"Shut up. You and I both know I love that shit." I stretched, making little noises and letting my eyes flutter closed.

"You sure you're okay?" He rubbed at my hip bones, where bruises shaped like his hands had started to form.

"My feet are sore." I didn't open my eyes. "You can rub them."

"I can do that." He said. I felt the bed dip as he crawled to the end of the bed and pulled one of my feet into his lap.

"Right on the arch." I whispered, wiggling my toes at him. He hummed and then his long, skillful fingers started digging into my flesh. "Mmmmmm…right there."

"It hurts because you stood on your tip toes for so long." He said, sounding a little guilty. I opened my eyes, sitting up on my elbows to glare down at him.

"If I didn't want to stand on my tip toes and give you my ass then I wouldn't have. I don't care that it's sore right now because that was _fucking great. _Damn it, Levi, don't ruin the memory."

"Sorry," He mumbled. Then I remembered something else that may be causing his distress.

"You okay?" I whispered. "You didn't have any, um, bad memories?"

"I'm okay." His gray eyes explored my body for signs of injury. "I'm a lot better than I thought I would be. It freaked me out at first, seeing you bent over the way I was, but then I could see you in the mirror and you were just _loving it_. I checked your eyes a lot. I don't know if you noticed, you were mostly looking at yourself."

"Yeah." I felt a little embarrassed.

"Did you see how sexy you are? I get to see that every time you cum. You are such a treat, Eren Ackerman." He crawled up my body and kissed me tenderly. I pulled back an inch.

"Eren Ackerman?" I smiled against his lips.

"Or Eren Jaeger- Ackerman or Ackerman- Jaeger," He pulled back further and I saw the hesitation in his eyes. "Or just Jaeger."

"Eren Jaeger-Ackerman sounds perfect." I gave him a small peck. "And you?"

"Levi Jaeger-Ackerman? We should match, after all."

"Sounds good," I pecked all over his face, "but right now you have another foot to rub. Then we have cum to clean."

"I love you, husband." He chuckled as he moved down to my other foot. I wiggled my toes at him again and smiled.

"I love you, too…husband."

* * *

snk makes me unreasonably happy


	24. Meaning

Just a small chapter to roll into b party and the wedding! German!Eren makes me so happy, but I do not speak German, so feel free to tell me I'm wrong.

* * *

Levi POV

I was worried that maybe I wasn't doing the right thing by marrying Eren. I loved him, and I wanted to marry him, but was it _right?_ Was it right to tie the knot so fucking quickly? I just wanted a happy Eren. If that meant that this wedding – a wedding I had mostly planned out with Armin – wasn't what he wanted, then fine.

Then again, maybe I'm just getting cold feet. The wedding is two days from now, after all.

"Babe." I whispered, squeezing his hand. We were curled up together on the couch, nuzzling each other and ignoring the movie we were supposed to be watching.

"Hmmmm?"

"You're completely sure you want to marry me?"

"Are you doubting my love for you?" Eren sounded offended. He squeezed my hand back. "You know you're my moon."

I blushed a bit at his new pet name for me. 'Moon' came about as the counterpart to his name in my phone: 'Sunshine'. He also mentioned something about how my gray eyes and pale skin reminded him of a moon god or something like that. I hadn't listened to all of his speech, mostly just drooling. In my defense, he had decided to make his 'Moon is your pet name' speech naked on my bed, so.

"It's not that… I just want to make sure that you want _this _wedding. You mentioned the beach thing…"

"And? I love the wedding that you and Armin planned. He may be a little, uh…-"

"Sex obsessed? Dick hungry? Cock crazy?" I offered.

"Yes. To all of them. However, he does know me better than anyone else, except Mikasa. This is perfect." He held up his hand and let me see his engagement ring. "Armin told me you wanted a long engagement but then got all excited and rushed it."

"I want you. I want you as my husband. Forever and always, Eren."

"Forever and always, Levi." He turned to me, "Besides, it's not like we aren't going to have that beach wedding."

"Eren?" I looked at him sideways. The wedding started two days from now at five. It was in the venue at a local hotel. What was he talking about?

"You think I'm only going to marry you once?" He giggled. "We'll renew our vows on a beach somewhere."

"We can do that." I nodded. I would make him my husband now and also give him the wedding of his dreams later.

"I know something else we can do." He purred, sitting on top of me. He kissed me sloppily while reaching for the button of my jeans.

"No." I stilled his hands. "The wedding is two days from now."

"So we should celebrate."

"Babe." I felt desire start curling inside of me. "Can't we wait for two more days? It'll make the honey moon more special."

"But…" Eren whined, using his puppy dog eyes on me.

"How about you tell me about your bachelor party plans?" I asked him, trying to get his mind away from my dick.

It wasn't that I didn't _want _to fuck him. I _really _did. It was like I was horny for Eren all the time. I swore he could poke my side and I would be fucking _ready_. It was that I had a specific idea of how I wanted our Honeymoon to go, and I thought that maybe backing off of Eren for a few days would make it all the more sweeter for him.

"How about _you _tell me about your bachelor party plans? I'm more worried about-" Eren shut his mouth suddenly, biting his thought in half, but I figured it out anyway.

"You're worried that I'm going to end up doing something… bad." It wasn't a question, I knew that Eren, (and Armin and Mikasa, for that matter), had been watching me closely after my slip up.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, dropping his head a bit. His shoulders curled a bit forward; it was a very defensive gesture and I didn't like it.

"It's okay." I paused. It's perfectly reasonable for you to be worried about me. After all, for the longest time 'celebrating' meant 'getting high' to me. That's kind of how my addiction started. At first, I would only do it when there was something to celebrate. Then I started getting hooked and…you know, it's amazing all the different things you can find to 'celebrate' when there's drugs involved. Hell, I used to celebrate everything from not dying to getting laid."

He listened quietly, a sad expression forming on his face. "That's…that's not what I meant."

"Oh?"

"It's just that… you'll be around, you know, _those_ people again." He bit his lip.

"I got rid of most of my druggie friends when I got clean-" I started.

"Yeah, but not all of them. Your bachelor party… is there going to be anyone connected to drugs there?" Eren looked up at me firmly.

"Yes." I said truthfully. "Two."

"And they will most likely be, uh, holding or whatever you call it?"

"No." I shook my head. "I made it very clear to them that they were to leave all their shit at the door. I told them multiple times that I'm clean and they respect that."

"Can you just…?" Eren let it hang in the air.

"Just what?"

"Not see them?" Eren gave me a hard look. "Don't you have other friends?"

"No. Hanje, Mike, Erd, Gunter, Petra, and Olou are my only friends in the whole world."

"And the two addicts?" He said, and I internally winced at hearing the word come from his mouth.

"Erd and Gunter. Petra and Olou used to get high with me, but they're clean now. They actually got clean years before I did. Petra got pregnant, and so they cleaned up and got married." I shook my head. "It'll be fine. I need to see them. Just one last time."

"Hanje will be there?"

"Hanje will be there."

"Okay." Eren looked at me intensely before leaning forward and tucking his head under my neck. "I love you."

"I love you, too." I rubbed soothing circles into his back. "It'll be okay. I mean two days from now we'll be married, you'll be Mr. Ackerman- Jaeger-"

"So will you." He whispered.

"That's right. We'll be together and that's all that matters. The rest of it…It can all fall away." I smiled to myself thinking about his honeymoon present. Since we weren't having a big, fancy wedding, we put that money into a honeymoon trip. We had been planning on something close, like a bed and breakfast a little ways away, but after a generous wedding present from Hanje and Mike, and a little padding from Erwin and Armin, I had a very special trip planned out for him.

"Tell me something sweet in German." I held him closer and he groaned.

"Dammit, Levi. I regret telling you my parents are German now." He had told me lots about growing up bilingual. His parents were German immigrants. His dad disappeared when he was 15 and his mom died long before that. He and his adopted sister Mikasa lived with Armin and his grandpa until they turned 18. I asked him lots about his past and all the things he did with his family and Armin. I liked hearing a happy past. I really liked hearing him talk in German, too.

"Wow! That sounded just like bitching in English." I squeezed his ass.

"Hahaha." He huffed, then I felt him soften against me. "Ich liebe deinen Schwanz."

"Oh. That." My ears perked up. "You taught me that one earlier. It means 'I love you', right?"

"Right." Eren chuckled against me. "Let me hear you try it."

"You always make fun of me when I try to say things in German!" I said, then relented. "Issh liibie deanen Shwaaanzz." I tried really hard to get it right.

"Perfect." Eren pulled back and smiled at me. It lasted half a second before he exploded into laughter. "You sound like a puppy!"

"See! You're making fun of me." I shook my head, but a smile tugged on my lips. If it made him feel good, I would talk in sub-par German for the rest of my life.

"Levi." He put his forehead on mine, looking into my eyes. "Ich liebe dich."

"Uhhh…" I hadn't learned this one yet. I cursed myself and swore to take German lessons. The next time I proposed to him, for the beach wedding, I would do it in German. "What does that mean?"

"Guess." His breath fanned over my face. We were so close now, breathing each other's air. Visions of me fucking him flashed through my mind and a felt arousal curl in my belly. Maybe… just once more before the wedding…

"It means 'take me to bed' doesn't it?"

"Kinda." He laughed a bit before kissing me. Eren didn't kiss anything like he fucked. He liked it hard and fast. He liked being strapped down and toyed with. He liked it rough. His kisses were gentle, though. Sweet, even. He always caught my bottom lip and kissed it a few times before pressing against me softly and slipping his tongue inside.

Eren had just started teasing my tongue with his when I felt him unbutton my shirt. His warm palms slid across my chest and he rubbed my nipples. I pulled back and we pressed our foreheads back together, breathing each other in. Maybe… just once more…

"Why did you stop me?" He asked.

"I want to wait." I said, and then wished I hadn't. My brain wanted to wait but my body was asking me why Eren wasn't back bent over that mirror right now.

"Okay." He slid off of my lap and sat beside of me.

"Thank you." I whispered before I even meant to. It just always slipped out whenever he respected my boundary setting. I wasn't exactly used to that. I was used to force. When I explained why I always did this, Eren vowed to get me used to being respected and loved.

"I love you, husband." He didn't mention my thanking him and I was grateful. I always got so embarrassed when we had to dwell on my past. That's why I never told him much about Kenny or my exs. Maybe one day I would be open, like he was about his upbringing, and Eren could help me through it like he did Farland's death…but that would be awhile more.

"I love you, too, husband." I buttoned my shirt back up.

"Can I hold your hand?" He asked.

I held my hand out to him and he took it, leaning against me. We turned back to the movie and continued ignoring it in favor of nuzzling and hand holding.

"You never told me about your bachelor party? You're not going to a strip club, are you?" I teased him.

"Armin is planning it-"

"Not the Crooked Arrow!" I couldn't even picture Eren at that place. Armin had told me so many scary stories about shit that happened there. It wasn't as bad as what I used to do, but I didn't want my husband getting drunk and licking tartar sauce off of a dragon dildo or ketchup off of a giant vibrator or whatever condiment and sex toy of the month it was in Armin's cum and biology filled brain.

"No! I would tuck and roll out of the moving car if he started toward the Crooked Arrow-"

"I'd bet Armin could show you how to _tuck _and _roll._" I snickered. Eren glared up at me, his nose and top lip crinkling in disgust. "I'm not apologizing."

"Any fucking way, Armin's in charge. There will be no Crooked Arrow, and that's all I know."

"You're going to a strip club." I said without missing a beat.

"Or maybe it won't be." He quickly added. "I hope it isn't. I don't really get much out of seeing people strip."

"Not something you're into?" I asked. I was making a list of things I wanted to try with Eren, and giving or getting a striptease was one of them.

"I just don't get much out of seeing people who aren't you naked." He nuzzled closer into me, tightening his grip on my hand.

"I'll add that into your honeymoon, then." A strip tease would go great with what I had planned.

"Oh, no. What are you planning?" He asked, a hint of worry in his voice.

"Nothing bad, I promise. Me and you are just gonna go to that bed and breakfast we talked about and I'll fuck you hard a couple times. That's it." That was nowhere near it. I planned on doing a whole lot to Mr. Ackerman-Jaeger.

"That's really it?" He asked.

"Uh-huh." I hated lying to him, but I wanted to see his face when I explained everything to him. I was going to have so much fun with him. I just had to make it through the bachelor party and the wedding. Oh, boy.

* * *

I noticed most fics where eren and levi go to another country, its mostly France for French!Levi. I wanted to make a general Levi and a German!Eren.

also- my hopefully no incorrect translations -

Ich liebe deinen Schwanz. - I love your dick.

Ich liebe dich. - I love you.


End file.
